Chapter Fifty-Seven - Cool Paint Job
Chapter Fifty-Seven - Cool Paint Job
"It doesn't make sense. The only difference between our car and theirs is the driver and the paint job, and I refuse to believe that painting some cheesy flames on their car made it go faster!"
--Ferrari F1 manager, at the 2048 New Montreal Circuit
***
I was still a little sour, arms crossed and lips set in a line, as I watched Gomorrah buy herself a mech.
It was a chunky little thing. Two fat legs and a squat body. It was definitely a bipedal mecha, but it didn't have much of a human form to it. It was like, 70% body, with turrets on the sides and a small set of guns up top. There was a small 'head' at the front which looked like a ceramic mask of a woman, but that was it.
The angles were all sharp, and the legs were like a chicken's, bent backwards. Everything had several overlapping armoured plates on it too.
The mecha was painted a flat black, though there was plenty of detailed trim-work on everything. The armour had small sections on it that were glossy instead of matt, so when the light caught them right, I could see the underlying design. It was kind of... baroque, maybe? I didn't have the words for it. Fancy, basically. There were a lot of abstract wings and fire.
The mask being the only part of the whole thing that was a stark white made it stand out. Kinda creepy, actually.
"So, what's that?" I asked as I came over.
It felt big, though I suspected it would fit in the Bastion just fine. It was only a smidge taller than the MEOW, and it was definitely not as long.
"This is the Seraphina," Gomorrah said. "I've been planning to buy her for a while, actually. The side-mounted turrets are double-stacked guns. The one below is a long-range continuous-fire chemical laser. It's a six centimetre beam that can cut through a foot-thick wall in about three seconds."
"Big laser," I agreed with a nod. The lower guns were long tubes covered in greebles and a layer of overlapping armour. They were about twice as long as I was tall, which put them in the 'fuck off' range as far as big guns went. "What about the smaller one?" I asked, pointing to the second gun. It was mounted on the same turret base, though it looked like it could move independently a little.
"Those are the heavy flamers," she said.
"Ah, of course," I said.
"It has other weapons," she said, sounding rather defensive. "Point defence guns."
"Do they shoot fire?" I asked.
Gomorrah looked away.
"Wow," I said, voice flat. "Okay, give me a minute, I was gonna buy my own new toy."
Now I had to make sure that the BOBCAT looked cooler than Gomorrah's thing, otherwise I'd be clowned on.
"Myalis, we need a cool paint job on this thing," I said. "Maybe it... hot-rod red. With flames."
One very nice mechanized warcat, coming right up.
New Purchase: Ballistic Offense/Battlefield Combat Assault Tank
Points Reduced to: 340
The BOBCAT appeared with a heavy thump as it crashed onto the ground from nothing. It wasn't even too dusty out, but there was still a cinematic wave of it that rose off the ground when it landed.
The mecha was a squat thing that immediately occupied a ton of space. That was helped by the paint job. Bright, shining red, the sort with depth to it. It had the same colour as one of those old candy apple things.
The feet had big yellow-orange flames on it.
The only parts that weren't red or covered in flames were a few more mechanical bits, and those were done up in a nice golden colour that accented well with the rest.
"Fuck yeah," I muttered.
Gomorrah stepped over to stand next to me and looked at my new mech. "I like the flames," she said. "Very Dean Jeffries."
"Huh?"
Gomorrah shrugged. "I like custom car culture. It's one of the few things my father was into that I also enjoyed. That kind of flame is well over a hundred years old. The style, I mean. It's classy."
"Thanks," I said.
She turned to me. "You have no idea, do you? I'd be offended, but I don't really think it matters. In this specific case, looking cool was the whole goal, so it's hardly appropriate if you don't know where the style came from. Plus... I like the flames."
This tale has been pilfered from NovelPhoenix. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
I cleared my throat. "Let's walk them around a little. Get a feel for both before we're in the middle of it? You don't want to be looking for how to pilot your mech while aliens are battering it down."
"That's a good idea," she said.
As it turned out, the Seraphina opened up at the top. Gomorrah had to grab onto some well-placed bits of armour to climb up the side of the mech and make it to the roof, then she dropped down the hatch and disappeared within the red-lit interior.
The BOBCAT wasn't so complicated. The barrel chest had a hatch on the front that led right into the cockpit. It was a little tight in there, admittedly. I squeezed in, only barely able to fit through and stash my personal weapons away. The consoles and control surfaces were all set up on swivels, so it wasn't too hard to move them aside.
I turned and plopped down into the seat, then looked for the command to close the door. It was a big lever off to the side. Nice and tactile.
The door shut, and then I was sealed within the BOBCAT. The mecha's life support came online, and a dozen small red lights flicked on even as my AUGs got a ping from the mecha asking to connect.
I accepted, and then reached over to flick the switches to turn it on properly. A monitor just above my head came on first and ran through diagnostics, blocky text scrolling by, green over black.
Ballistic Offense/Battlefield Combat Assault Tank
BOBCAT//WAKE
REACTOR - ONLINE
HYDRAULICS - ONLINE
FIRE CONTROL - ONLINE
LIFE SUPPORT - ONLINE
COCKPIT - SEALED
TARGETTING - ACTIVE
COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS - CONNECTING
30MM RAIL SYSTEM CHARGING
90MM TWIN BATTERIES - READY
12.7MM VENTRAL - READY
12.7MM TOP - READY
MORTAR SYSTEM - READY
SMOKE DISPENSERS - READY
ALL SYSTEMS CHECKED.
ALL SYSTEM CLEARED.
BOBCAT//READY
The entire cockpit lit up, and I winced a little as the handshake completed and my augs and internals synched up. The seat closed in around me, inflating even as a sort of cage closed in around my torso and upper thighs. It was cushioned, and comfortable enough, but I was still damned thankful that I wasn't claustrophobic.
The controls were all within easy reach, and they were that very satisfying sort, all clicky buttons, little switches, and metal dials. A set of screens came down, each one looking out in another direction. I had the BOBCAT's eyes ahead, and a few extra sensor feeds around me.
A faint hum that I hadn't noticed slowed down, then stopped, and the feed for the main gun, the 30mm railgun that ran along the mecha's back, switched to green. The capacitors were full-up and ready to go.
I glanced over to where Gomorrah was, then snorted as her mech took a single, slow step forward.
There was just something about the slowness of the motion that told me that she was still getting used to it.
I jumped forwards, clearing ten feet in a bounce, then I pushed the mecha a little faster, running around the Bastion and around the other side. The seat I was in moved slightly countering the worst of the bounces, though I could still feel the motion. This thing was a lot smoother and faster than the MEOW. It wasn't quite on the level of the Nyanzerfaust. Somewhere in between.
I checked the guns real quick, targeting random army trucks and artillery pieces. It was a nice, simple-to-use system... could probably use a few safeguards. There was nothing stopping me from firing at all, but I supposed that this was a Samurai vehicle, so that didn't matter so much.
"Comms check, can you hear me, Gom?" I asked.
She came in with a deep breath. "I can. This is a little more difficult to pilot than the Righteous Fury."
"Well, its got legs, for one," I said. "Maybe you'd have better luck with four, huh?" I asked.
"Tsk. Still on about that? I'm not a furry, Catherine."
"I'm not either!" I said.
"Of course not," she replied.
"Oh your god, you are such a bitch," I said. "Come on, go stow your little toy in the Bastion. We'll gather the others up and head out. The aliens won't burn themselves."
"We'll see about that. Also, can it with the blasphemy."
"You know that I don't know what that means."
***