Chapter One
Cody fell to his knees, a wave of nausea coursing through him. That relocation spell had been a doozy. He could feel rivulets of sweat running down his back and dripping off his forehead, landing on his jeans. Jeans? He hadn’t worn jeans in years. Before he could ruminate anymore on his clothing, he heard a mooo and looked up to see a trio of brown cows chewing their cud and staring at him. Their large black eyes were doleful and unamused.
Cody blinked as his eyes adjusted to the late afternoon light, the sun blazing as it descended into the horizon. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was inside a cow pasture. There was a wooden fence just a few feet away, and on the other side there was a dirt road. And on the other side of that…
“No way…” Cody said. He got to his feet and wavered a bit, but he managed to stay standing. He did it. He actually did it! After spending a decade in a hellscape fantasy land of dungeons and monsters, he finally collected all the dumb shit he needed for the witch-lady to cast the spell to return home.
He realized this is where it all started on that fateful night: the cow pasture. He had been walking through, as he often did when he needed to do some serious reflection. The family who owned the farm never seemed to care. He had been thinking things over about his late grandfather and his inheritance, when he had slipped on a cow patty and smacked his head on a rock. Then he woke up in that other, weird, game-like place: Velasarin. Now he seemed to be back on Earth—back in cottage country in Southern Ontario, to be exact. And he smelled like cow shit. It was smeared on his shoes and his jeans. He also had an intense throbbing in his head. He reached up, patting his hair, and realized it felt much shorter than usual. The familiar feeling of warm, sticky blood coated his fingers. Right, because had slipped on the cow patty…and hit his head. But as he kept prodding his head, he realized there was no wound, just blood. He frowned, wiping his bloody hand on his jeans.
He had been under the impression he’d essentially been truck-kun’d (or rock-kun’d, technically), and therefore the rock to the head had been fatal. But now he was back so the fatality had been…reversed? He couldn’t make sense of it, and he wasn’t going to bother trying. His head hurt too much to even attempt to think it over more than he already had.
Out of habit, Cody went to place his hand on the hilt of his sword, but nothing was there. He looked down at his outfit and realized he was wearing a thin cotton T-shirt instead of his leather armor and, yeah, he was wearing jeans. And black Converse. He was back in the same clothes he had been wearing the evening he hit his head on the rock. He wondered if that meant he was back, that same night…or had a decade passed while he was gone? He had lived a full decade in Velasarin. Either scenario was plausible. And if his sword was gone, and he was wearing his original clothing—
Knife? he asked in his mind, searching for the sentient knife that was attached to his soul.
Yeah, I’m here, Knife’s familiar, gruff voice answered. Cody felt a wave of relief. I think I’m in your [Inventory].
“Inventory?” Cody said out loud. He was not in Velasarin. This was home. He was home. No more weird game shit. No more [Inventory]. But he did the mental pull that would bring up his [Inventory] and there he was, Knife.
Cody had been stabbed in the heart with the knife during one of his first dungeon runs. It was a little goblin who did it. The demon who lived in the weapon agreed to save Cody’s life, as long as he could hijack his mind and live inside his brain. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It was either that or die. And now their lives were tied together, forever. Not even returning to Earth had severed their connection.
Cody had mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, Knife was his friend. They’d spent a lot of time together. But on the other hand…he wasn’t entirely opposed to having his brain back. Knife was attached to Cody’s soul, so he had access to everything: his thoughts, his memories, his useless pop culture knowledge, and he could also see, hear, and even smell the world through Cody.
I saw that, Knife grumbled. Were you really hoping returning home would get rid of me?
No, not…exactly, Cody said, already feeling guilty for even thinking it. But right there was the kind of intrusion he had to deal with, constantly.
There was something else confusing Cody: Knife was the only item in his [Inventory]. That seemed harshly unfair. His [Personal Inventory] in Velasarin had been stacked. Nearly all fifty slots were full, and he’d had extra [Inventory Chests] stashed all over the continent.
Did he really lose everything? Nothing was making sense. He pulled Knife out and gripped the smooth, wooden handle. He realized he was missing Knife’s sheath that was usually on his belt, so he dismissed him back into his [Inventory]. Usually, he’d get a quick pop-up notification stating where he was at, such as [Forty-Four Out of Fifty Slots Full], but nothing happened. He brought up his [Personal Inventory] again and noticed a little infinity symbol in the top right corner; it was an unlimited [Personal Inventory]. That sure was nice, but it didn’t explain a damn thing.
“What the fuck is happening?” Cody said. A cow looked over at him and mooed.
Cody turned to face the dirt road that ran along the cow pasture. On the other side of the road was his grandfather’s cottage.
So, that’s the fabled cottage you’ve been thinking about all this time? Knife asked.
Cody started walking to the wooden fence that surrounded the pasture. Yep, that’s it.
It was a green-paneled lakeside cottage. The white shutters were overdue for a fresh coat of paint and a wooden porch led to the front door. The cottage was just one story, with a kitchen, living room, bathroom, and two bedrooms. There was a gravel driveway that ended in the bordering forest, a grassy yard along the side of the cottage, and a dirt path that led down to a beach.
It wasn’t big or anything fancy, but it was the place Cody had been dreaming of returning to his entire time in Velasarin. Small clusters of pine trees and patches of greenery framed the cottage, with the peaceful lake shimmering in the dying sunlight just behind it.
It looked bigger in your memories, Knife said.
Cody didn’t bother with an answer. His exhilaration at finally being home, standing in front of the cottage, was overshadowed by his exhaustion, and the fact that his limbs felt heavy, his throat was parched, and his head was pounding. He attempted to pull up his [Stamina Bar] and groaned when it actually popped up. The bar was in the red at fourteen percent.
Seriously? Cody wondered. [Inventory]? [Stamina bar]? He thought he’d made it home. Home wasn’t supposed to have any of this game stuff. He was supposed to be done with it, all of it. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, he tried to bring up his stats sheet. Nothing. That was…odd. He tried again, but still nothing. He decided he’d deal with that later, after getting something to drink and taking a very long nap. He couldn’t wait to get into that cottage and lie down on a nice, soft bed.
But, if his isekai-adventure-time passed in tandem with his back-home-cottage-time, that meant he was missing from this world for ten years. That was certainly long enough for people to assume he was dead. Not that he had anyone thinking about him. His Grandpa Sam had been the only family he had, after losing his mom to cancer a few years before. But if he’d been gone for ten years, then the cottage could have been sold to someone. And the inheritance money could be…gone? He had no idea how any of this shit worked if you disappeared for a decade and then magically returned.
He made his way to the wooden fence, managed to climb over, and then stumbled across the road. He slowed as he reached the gravel driveway. As he got closer, he noticed his beat-up blue Ford Focus was parked at the end of the driveway, partially hidden by the trees. That could only mean one thing: no time had passed at all. The car was definitely his and parked exactly where he left it. There was no way his car would still be sitting there if an entire decade had passed on Earth.
For a moment, he almost expected Grandpa Sam to come out the front door, smiling and carrying his favorite fishing rod. But Grandpa Sam wasn’t home. He was dead. That’s why Cody was here, in the tiny town of Cornerstone. The funeral was months ago, all the paperwork was done, and he drove up to cottage country to inherit his Grandpa Sam’s place. That cottage was his now. And thanks to Grandpa Sam secretly being a millionaire, Cody had been looking forward to kicking back, fishing, and hiking, because he sure as fuck wasn’t working another day in an auto factory if he had a lakeside cottage and a million dollars in the bank.
Cody ran a hand through his hair. How long have I been gone?
Just as he was heading up the drive, someone came around the bend in the road. It was a young woman, wearing denim shorts and a black polo with the Food Mart logo embroidered in red over the left side pocket.
Is that…? Knife asked. Is that the girl? The one you came back for?
Yeah… Cody said. That’s her.
Morgan was just as stunning as he remembered. She was curvy, the kind of girl who had a body that was always a bit on the thicker side. Her hair was a bright, coppery red, and she had pale skin even in the middle of summer, with delicate freckles on her arms and cheeks.
Morgan had been his summertime sweetheart. He grew up in Winbrook, a city a few hours south of the small town of Cornerstone. His mom would drive him up to his Grandpa Sam’s place and then leave him there for the months of July and August. Morgan was a year-round resident of Cornerstone who lived down the road from Grandpa Sam. She was the girl he spent time with every summer since he was a kid. Morgan had been his first girlfriend. His first love.
Morgan had been his tether to Earth the entire time he was in Velasarin. She was the reason he had fought so hard to find a way back.
Morgan was the love of his life.
But Morgan was also his ex. Because he broke up with her after spending an entire summer as boyfriend and girlfriend at the age of eighteen. Morgan had wanted to keep dating. She wanted to do the long-distance thing while she went to university in Toronto and he went to work at his new job at the auto factory in Winbrook. She even suggested they get engaged, so they were promised to each other, forever. She talked about getting married the following summer and having kids once she was done college. It was a bit too much too fast for eighteen-year-old Cody. He said no, to all of it. He went back to Winbrook and never spoke to her again.
Ten years in this world flew by, and their paths never crossed. Cody had come up to the cottage to visit Grandpa Sam a few times during that decade, but only for a weekend here and there. Morgan either avoided him or wasn’t in Cornerstone because she was in a summer session at university. Cody tried looking her up on social media, but he could never find her.
She’s the real deal, Knife said. She fits your memories perfectly. The tits on this girl—
No, Cody said to Knife sternly. Not now.
Morgan’s steps slowed as she got closer, and Cody realized he was just standing there, watching her walk down the road.
“Hey…” he said and waved.
Morgan slowly walked over to him, studying his face with her brows knit. “Cody? What are you doing here?”
“Moving…in.” Cody said and motioned to the cottage.
“Right. The cottage is yours now.” She took a step closer, looking at his head. “You’re um…bleeding. Are you okay?”
“Um…” Cody said, his brain still feeling sluggish. “Cow patty…rock-kun’d…what year is it? It’s 2026, right?”
“Did you hit your head?” Morgan asked, completely ignoring his question.
He smiled at her as her blue eyes roamed over his face, and then his body, as if assessing if he was okay. She was being so nice it was making him feel…everything. Happy that she was actually talking to him, thankful that she seemed to genuinely care about his wellbeing, and well, horny, because even in her simple work uniform she was gorgeous. But then his world started spinning like he was on a carnival ride. Morgan quickly stepped closer and caught him under the arms just before he toppled over, and he gratefully leaned on her. She flinched, scrunching up her nose.
“You smell awful,” Morgan said, but she took most of his weight on her shorter frame anyway. “Let’s get you into the cottage.”
Morgan helped him inside and she directed him straight to the bathroom, where she sat him down on the closed lid of the toilet. He slumped there, leaning back and enjoying the sensation of the cold porcelain of the tank on his sweaty back. Morgan grabbed the glass next to the sink and filled it with water.
“Here.” She passed it to him, eyeing him wearily. Cody gulped it down, spilling most of it down his chin.
“Wow, that tastes amazing,” he said, and passed the glass back to her. She filled it again and handed it over, and he gulped down more of the best tasting water he’d had in years. It was so fresh and cool and clean tasting.
Morgan waved her hand over her nose, as if his smell was even more offensive in the small bathroom. “Can you shower on your own? Or is that blood on your head? Cody, what happened to you?”
“It is a very long story,” he said with a weak smile. “But what year is it? Did you answer that already?”
“It’s 2026,” she said slowly. “I think you may have hit your head.”
She leaned over him, gently inspecting his bloody hair on the side of his head.
“It’s fine,” he said, but couldn’t help enjoying her closeness. He liked the way her fingers parted his hair, gently touching his scalp.
Morgan smelled like fresh laundry and something else sweet, like honey. Just that smell alone was enough to flood his mind with memories of being close to this woman. Kissing her and making love to her and holding her in his arms. His throat grew tight, feeling uncertain if he’d be able to make things right and have that again. It was one thing to dream about it on lonely nights under the Velasarin stars, and to put in the work to get back here, but it was another thing entirely to be faced with the reality of being right in front of her again.
“There’s a lot of coagulated blood but weirdly no cut or anything…Is this not your blood?” she asked, but before he could answer, she continued: “And you’re acting weird. Not that I’ve seen you in forever, but…Seriously, did you hit your head? Should I take you to the hospital?”
“I’m fine,” Cody insisted. “But I could use a snack?”
“Shower first because you stink, and when you come out, I’ll have a snack ready for you,” Morgan said.
“But it’s 2026?” Cody said before she left the bathroom. “July? Like…I never left?”
“Yeah, it’s July 2026,” Morgan said, but ignored the rest of his ramblings. “Have a shower, Cody.”
Relieved that Morgan had confirmed it was the exact day he left, Cody found the strength to shower. He used Grandpa Sam’s manly pine-scented soap and shampoo, reveling in the warm water and indoor plumbing—things Velasarin did not have.
Once he had washed all the blood out of his hair, he confirmed there really was no injury. He supposed that meant the fatal wound that had sent him to another world had been reversed upon his return. He figured he’d never understand why the gods of realm-hopping felt it fit to leave him with a head covered in blood. Celestial overseers of game worlds work in mysterious ways and all that.
As he soaped up and got clean, he realized the muscles he had built while fighting dungeon monsters had vanished. He was back in his pre-Velasarin body. The original body wasn’t exactly lacking, but all his gains were gone. Once again, he tried to bring up his stats screen, and nothing happened. He supposed that meant all the XP he dumped into strength and dexterity were also gone, but he was still left confused by the remaining [Stamina Bar] and [Personal Inventory].
I don’t get it either, man, Knife said.
Once he was done showering, Cody put on his grandfather’s plaid robe. It had been hanging on the back of the bathroom door. Morgan was waiting for him in the kitchen. She frowned and handed him a granola bar.
“Sorry, I realized there’s no food in the cottage since it’s been empty for a few months,” she said. “I just had this in my purse.”
“Thanks.” He tore into it, eating it in record time. When he checked his [Stamina], it had risen to sixteen percent. That was still pretty awful, and he still felt like shit.
“So, do you have an explanation…?” Morgan asked.
“Not…not right now.” He turned and started to stumble to the master bedroom. He put his hand on the wall to keep himself from falling over. “Need…sleep.”
He heard Morgan sigh, and then she was right there, wrapping her arm around him. She made sure he made it to the bedroom without falling. Cody fell into bed and then everything went blissfully black.
* * *
When Cody woke up next, he saw he had kicked off most of the covers. The sun was shining in through the bedroom window that looked out onto the lake, and he had to pee like crazy. He checked his [Stamina] and was elated that it had gone back to a full one-hundred percent. He smiled to himself, realizing he felt much better. There was no more headache or brain fog.
He wrapped his robe around himself and hurried down the hall to the bathroom. As he peed, he realized the bathroom was spotless and his dirty clothes were gone. Morgan must have taken care of it. His stomach twisted, hoping he hadn’t made too much of a fool of himself the night before. He finished up and walked out to the kitchen. He was surprised when he saw Morgan seated at the table, a steaming mug of coffee in her grasp.
“I went out and picked up a few things. There’s coffee if you want some,” she said.
Cody breathed deeply. The smell of fresh brewing coffee was near orgasmic. They didn’t have coffee in Velasarin. He fixed himself a cup, black with way too much sugar, and then collapsed into a chair at the table, across from Morgan. There was a bowl in the center of the table with some fruit, so he grabbed an apple and bit into it.
“So…do you have a story for me that explains what was wrong with you last night?” Morgan asked. “Did you do some sketchy drugs or something? Because you were totally out of it. And covered in shit and blood.”
Cody looked across the table at her. He had no idea what to say. But wow, she was beautiful. Those dark blue eyes behind the frames of her glasses, her delicate nose, her full, pink lips and the dusting of freckles on her cheeks—all of it was pure perfection. He was even into the glasses and always had been. He’d met a lot of women in Velasarin, saved a pretty cute maiden or two, but none of them came close to holding a candle to Morgan’s natural beauty.
Say something. Anything, Knife said. Tell her that her tits look nice in that shirt.
She was wearing her black polo work uniform again. It was nothing special, but it skimmed her curves nicely. Cody blinked a few times and pushed Knife from his mind. When he had full [Stamina], it was much easier to ignore him.
Morgan was being incredibly understanding and helpful, all things considered. He knew it was partly because Grandpa Sam had recently passed, and partly because he was obviously fucked up the night before. But the last time he saw her was at Grandpa Sam’s funeral, years ago—no, it was actually just a few months ago, he reminded himself.
“I was just…not feeling well,” Cody said lamely. “Thanks. For um…everything.”
“You’re welcome,” Morgan said.
He took another bite of apple, savoring its freshness and not being able to come up with anything to say to Morgan. He spent so much time thinking about coming back here, to Earth, to be reunited with his lost love, and now that she was in arm’s reach he had no clue what to say to her. There was just too much to say, and it felt like his brain wasn’t ready to process it all and come up with a single, helpful sentence.
“So, are you feeling better now?” Morgan asked. “Because I need to get to work.”
“Yeah, I’m feeling better.”
“Okay, then.” Morgan stood up to deposit her empty coffee mug in the sink and saw herself out. And then he was surrounded by silence. Not completely; there was birdsong, the sound of rustling leaves, and the gentle lapping of waves just outside the kitchen window.
Cody finished up his apple and realized it’d be a lot easier to hear the soothing sound of the waves if he went outside. He headed to the patio door, coffee in hand, and walked onto the sandy beach. He looked across the blue lake, sunlight sparkling on the crest of waves like gems. The lake was roughly five kilometers long, with each end being more marsh-like than lake. It was small, as far as lakes went, at least when you were only seventy kilometers east of Lake Huron and surrounded by the rest of the Great Lakes.
He sat down on the sand, marveling that he was back. When he first found out that Grandpa Sam was secretly a millionaire and that all the money, plus the cottage, had been left to him, his very first thought was to move here and enjoy the peace and quiet. To get away from the city, the crazy ex-girlfriends, the shitty factory job, the smog, the traffic, the…just fucking everything. He wanted to get away from it all. To be here, surrounded by complete serenity. It was perfect.
Except you’re completely alone, Knife said. That kind of sucks. I don’t think that Morgan chick is into you. Sorry, bro.
“I’m not alone. I have you, asshole,” Cody muttered, and took a sip of his coffee.
Morgan was still living in Cornerstone. He could at least try and mend that bridge, despite Knife’s depressing observation. She had been his shining beacon calling him home, after all. It’d be moronic to choke up at the finish line.
And then a notification screen popped up. Cody flinched, spilling some coffee on his robe. He swore and set his mug down on the sand and then looked up at the notification screen in confusion. The ones he used in Velasarin were usually blue, but this one was pink with white text:
[Welcome to Cottage Country. Would you like to begin the tutorial? Yes/No?]