The Bound Angel (Sacrilege Rising: Book 1)

Mike stared at the door. He could still feel the thud from its closing. For the hundredth time he noticed how the nob rattled when it turned. One of the screws was loose, and he really should just go fix it now while it was on his mind. For the hundredth time he convinced himself he would remember to do it later.

The moment stretched while he stood there, frozen, rooted in the same spot. Now that she was gone, the reality of what just happened was setting in. Allie tricked him about needing help in class to get into his apartment. So she could seduce him. Allie. The hottest woman he’d ever met. Seduced him. Was seduce even the right word?

It began as a steamy hookup, but at some point had turned dark. The things he said. The things he did. Who was that person? It wasn’t him. Even his voice sounded different. He replayed the encounter in his mind, feeling more disgusted with himself with each repetition. He shouldn’t have treated her like that.

But she deserved it. The thought came unbidden.

No, she didn’t. Nobody did. You didn’t do that to someone because they were rude. But it felt so good. So intoxicatingly, overwhelmingly, good. Mike was nauseous. Would he throw up right there, frozen in his own doorway, unable to even make it to the bathroom? His head swam with images and conflicting thoughts. Mike was sick with himself, but somehow still horny, each remembrance stoking the smoldering embers of arousal. There was a look in her eye after that last kiss. She would probably come back right now if he asked her to.

What was wrong with him? He was dizzy. He needed to sit before he passed out. He leaned down, bracing himself on his knees, closing his eyes, and breathed. Just… breathed.

His phone buzzed. It was Meredith. She wanted to know when he was coming back to work so she could do the schedule. And, also, whether he was free to get together this week. It buzzed again. Emma said the cops spoke to the pastor but not to her grandmother yet. And she asked when he wanted to get lunch again. Or dinner.

What in the actual fuck was happening? When he slept with Meredith, he’d chalked it up to alcohol and a rebound after a bad breakup. Then at lunch the other day it sure felt like something passed between him and Emma. The same Emma he’d been friends with for years and had always acted like a perfectly proper lady. And now Allie. All in a few days.

The words on the screen became fuzzy. The phone clattered to the floor. He was squatting with his head in his hands. Everything was a loose ball of tangled, overlapping thoughts, each one beginning before the last one ended. Meredith wanted to get together again? Emma wanted to get dinner? What happened to staying unattached? Like a date? The cops were finally looking into the fire. People had died at that church. Where was Lana?

No. Stop. Focus.

He had to work through what just happened with Allie. Something had changed. Either in him or in her or in both of them. Did Emma’s voice really sound different at McLaren’s or had he imagined it?

Someone said his name. It sounded very far away.

How could he have treated Allie like that? Sure, she wasn’t a nice person, but it wasn’t like she killed his dog. Meredith didn’t want him to tell anyone. Should he be offended? Emma had never shown interest like that before, much as he wished she had.

“Michael.” The voice was louder now.

The fire. Was that woman in black really a demon? Angels and demons didn’t exist, and you were a gullible sucker if you believed otherwise. He tried to tell Emma, but she just laughed at him. How could he have done that to Allie?

Hands touched his own, untangling his fingers from his hair. They cupped his face, lifting him up. Eyes as warm and fresh as a spring morning greeted him, framed by shimmering gold.

“Michael,” Lana repeated. “What has happened?”

She was beautiful. His life was suddenly full of beautiful women, but Lana was different. She was fresh and pure and honest, where the others had motives he couldn’t figure out.

Her face softened. Tears were in her eyes. “Look at me. I am here now.” One by one, the loose threads were pulled back, easing the stranglehold on his mind. He would deal with the fire when he had to. He took a real breath and focused on the air filling his lungs.

Emma was a friend. They would never be more than that, and that was okay. His stomach settled.

So what if Meredith wanted to get together again? Two dates, or hookups, or whatever, didn’t mean they were a couple. And would it be so bad if it did? He stood, stretching cramped muscles, then froze again.

Allie. How could he have done that?

“What troubles you?” Lana asked.

“I…” he cleared his throat. “I don’t feel like myself. Something is happening to me. Or around me. I don’t know. But something is definitely happening.”

“I should not have left. Sit. Tell me.”

He did, and tried. “I know we talked about this before, but it’s not stopping.”

“What do you mean?”

“The way women are coming on to me doesn’t feel natural.”

Concern turned to surprise, then confusion. She said, slowly, “You are an attractive man, Michael.”

It was the second time she’d told him that. Was it happening to her too? He watched her closely and asked, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Fine. Why…?” Lana rolled her eyes. “Michael. Tell me what has happened. Be specific.”

Specific would be hard. “You know about Meredith.”

“Yes. We have discussed this.”

“And Emma.”

She waited for him to continue.

“Right. And now you’ve met Allie. And we just… Well. We slept together. And now Meredith wants to get together again right after saying she didn’t want to be attached. And I can’t stop thinking about how Emma was acting at lunch.”

Lana looked confused. “I admit I do not know the customs of the current age as well as I would like, but I am fairly certain this would not be cause for concern among most of the male population.”

“This type of thing doesn’t happen to me-”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“-very often. Everyone is so aggressive all of the sudden. Out of nowhere.”

She sighed, looking away, turning it over in her mind, before coming to some decision. “We have discussed how your actions affect me through the bond, Michael. It now seems as if the reverse is also true. My presence may be affecting you as much as yours is affecting me.”

“What does that mean?”

She spoke slowly, seeming to find the words just before saying them. “You know I can sense certain things in the people around me.” Mike nodded. “Over the centuries, I have honed this skill to the point where subtle cues can tell me more about a person than if we had grown old together. In a similar way, I believe others may now sense my presence in you.”

Well that sounded downright crazy. But there’d been a lot of crazy lately. “But you’re, you know, not entirely human, I think. No offense. How can they do what you do?”

“I am not explaining well. It is not the same. I am sure they do not know what they are feeling, or why. They just sense you have something they are looking for. Something they need. Comfort. Support. Discretion. Satisfaction. Needs will vary by person and circumstance.”

The real impact of being bound to an angel was beginning to set in. “You’re saying they feel your…” Mike waved his hands, looking for the right word.

“Essence. Soul. Grace. Choose what words you will.”

“And your essence makes women want to have sex with me?”

Lana sighed, “You think along the wrong path.” Then she admitted, “though it may ultimately lead to the same destination. Has every person you have come into contact with these last days tried to sleep with you?”

Mike considered the question. He wasn’t exactly getting mobbed. “No. Just Meredith, maybe Emma, and now Allie.”

“Then you agree it is a specific type of person that is now finding themselves more attracted to you than before?”

“I guess.”

She looked away. “I feel I should tell you something, though you may not be comfortable knowing it. Your new friend, Allie, has had issues with men throughout her life. Her father was not kind, though not in the way you are thinking. He held himself distant. Emotionally unavailable. Her brothers were forced to endure ridicule simply for having an attractive sister, fostering resentment on both sides. She has never had a healthy relationship with a man. To make matters worse, she has certain desires that leave her vulnerable. Easy to take advantage of. Her last relationship ended badly. And now her path crosses yours, and you have what she needs, even if she does not know what that is. Ordinarily, this may result in natural, organic attraction. Or not,” she shrugged, “humans are odd. And these are more themes than rules. However, now that you are affected by my presence, it draws her in.”

“But what could I have that she needs?”

Lana’s face softened. She said quietly, “You have many gifts, Michael. One of them is a kind and caring soul. You do not judge.”

“But you said her boyfriends took advantage of her, like I just did. I treated her like shit and made her do uncomfortable things. How am I any better than them?”

“What things?”

Their encounter had been replaying in his mind since Allie left. “I… taunted her, I guess you could say. And called her names. I was rough with her, and made her feel embarrassed.”

“Did you force yourself on her?” The edge in Lana’s voice made Mike flinch.

He answered quickly, “No. I mean, not like that. She encouraged it. Not encouraged, that makes it sound like it was her fault.” Specifics were uncomfortable. Just speaking it out loud made it feel more real than it had a moment ago. But the look in Lana’s eyes gave him no way out. He sighed. “She told me to do what I wanted, but that was the problem. What I wanted was dark. Degrading. I’ve had fantasies before, but nothing like that with a real person. I don’t know where it came from. She begged and said things about herself to turn me on.”

As he spoke, Lana’s expression relaxed. “Michael,” she said softly, almost soothingly. “In many situations the things you speak of are reprehensible. It is good you are aware of this. However, in this context, you likely have done nothing wrong.”

“How can you say that? I-”

“Everyone is different,” Lana interrupted. “Unique. I spoke earlier of Allie’s desires. What one finds gratifying, spiritually, emotionally, physically, another may not. And that is okay. Better than okay. It is to be celebrated. Because it is how He made you. Do not diminish your friend by assuming she is something she is not. As long as you both consent, you have committed no sin. How did she react? Was she offended or upset in any way?”

“Well, no,” Mike admitted. “I actually think she enjoyed it too. And she acted like she wanted to get together again.”

“Then as long as you respect her boundaries, and you are both communicating, I see nothing to condemn.”

He thought for a long moment. “This feels an awful lot like brainwashing. How do I know they’re capable of making their own choices?”

“Now that, I can answer. Free will is the foundation of everything my kind stand for, on both sides of the conflict. While we attempt to influence or persuade, nothing we do goes so far as to take away a mortal’s free will. If that were the case, the choice itself would lose meaning, and power. It is simply not how things are done.”

“But you could? Take away someone’s ability to choose? If you wanted to, I mean.”

“No. And you know I cannot lie to you. There is simply no way to influence a mortal to such a degree that he would choose a path he would not otherwise have considered.”

Lana had a way of making him feel better about being selfish. It was a lot to take in. She was like a lighthouse, her essence a beacon attracting those in need, and he was becoming an extension of that. Meredith needed a steady presence after a time of turmoil. Allie needed someone she could be herself with and not get taken advantage of.

“I’m a port in the storm, so to speak?”

Lana didn’t answer. Her face was a frustrating mask of neutrality.

“But you’re saying I should still get together with them?”

“I am saying that is your own decision to make, and you should not overthink it. And I will continue to say this until it is no longer true. You are a good person, Michael Davis. Trust your instincts.”

That was easier said than done. His instincts weren’t always aligned. One of his instincts told him to cut off all contact, to settle down for a while until he had a better handle on the situation. Another instinct told him to find out how deep Allie’s kink went.

“I cannot help but notice that sex seems to concern you a great deal.”

That brought his thoughts to a screeching halt. What were you supposed to say to that?

“You place too much emphasis on physical desire,” she continued. “It is just that. No more, and no less.”

“Thank you, I think. For all of that. I’m not sure I’m totally comfortable with it, but you’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“You are welcome. However, I owe you an apology. I have not been here for you as often as I would like. I am sorry. I would stay with you tonight, if you would allow it.”

Mike nodded. “That would be nice.”

They settled into a comfortable silence. It was a lot to absorb. Mike’s mind was racing, but he noticed Lana look away, then quickly glance back at him. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. For the briefest moment her eyes met his, before she looked somewhere else again.

Eventually she asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Better. I think.”

“Then, is now possibly a good time to ask a question?”

“Of course.”

She looked relieved. “In my short time here, there is something I have noticed, particularly in establishments operated by those from the Pan Pacific.”

She didn’t look relieved anymore. Now he thought she looked worried. What could worry someone like Lana? He braced himself to find out vampires were waiting outside, or aliens were about to invade.

“What, exactly, is an egg roll? Is that correct? Or do I say, why does an egg roll? The concept is unclear.”

Mike stared at her for a long second, then began to laugh. In amusement at first, but then it just felt good to let go of the tension. It turned into a full-bellied thing, growing even as Lana’s face turned pink and she huffed and crossed her arms.

***

The afternoon sun sank low over the Inner Harbor. It’s glaring reflection on the water’s surface forced the crowd to shield their eyes or look away. The harbor was the biggest tourist destination in the city, and sightseers flocked to visit the aquarium or eat dinner on the ships docked at the pier.

Baltimore wasn’t the biggest or richest city. There weren’t so many neighborhoods that you could lose count of them, and Maryland accents were few enough that you could tell when someone was from Carroll County or Dundalk. People from other places never knew what Mike meant when he said that it felt like a small town. It was big enough to host pro sports teams, but the locals all seemed to know each other.

So half a dozen places instantly popped into his head. Lana insisted she come along. For his safety, she argued. He didn’t put up a fight, but insisted the armor stay behind. One of his tee shirts was tied off around her waist, and a pair of his athletic shorts were cinched as tight as they could go. They were both baggy, but damn if she didn’t pull the look off.

The cook in the back was noisy as he made their food. Shouts in a foreign language clashed with the ringing and scraping of metal on metal. Lana noticed the pictures on the wall didn’t match the menu, and Mike couldn’t explain why it was like that at every Chinese restaurant. But it was oddly comforting. Her eyes widened at the bags stuffed with food. Then they slowly closed as the smell wafted over her.

The walk back was pleasantly quiet. Mike pointed out the apartment he’d lived in for a few years while Mom saved up for a better place. The neighbors kept changing and the corners were busy at night, but it was close to the bus stop.

The streets were cobblestone, but not as well-maintained as the ones in Fells Point. Those had to be fixed all the time so the horses didn’t turn an ankle and the carriages didn’t crack a wheel. The roads in his neighborhood weren’t bringing in tourist money, so they never got fixed.

They chatted as they walked. Which mostly meant Lana asked questions and Mike told stories. She was fascinated by the most mundane things, like how traffic patterns worked and the general idea of hot dog carts. It was endearing. Cute, even, how earnest she looked when she asked about the pigeons.

White and yellow lilies lining the road caught Lana’s eye. She bent to pick them, here and there, never taking too many from one place, and threaded them into her hair while they talked. A fuzzy warmth spread through Mike at the sight of soft foliage in her golden braid, like an afternoon nap in the shade with the sun peeking through gaps in the trees overhead.

Ahead, pink neon lights were bright against the darkening sky. It marked the only strip club in the neighborhood, and had a reputation for being not strictly above-board. Further west, a few blocks from the harbor, there was a street lined with clubs on either side, but there wasn’t enough money to support more than one out here. It was still too early to be crowded, but Lana’s eyes lingered on the darkened doors as they passed, and Mike was thankful she didn’t ask about it.

They came to an old, historic church, not unlike the one where they first met. Had it really only been a few days ago? So much had happened. The stained-glass windows looked glossy at night, and the heavy wooden doors were hanging peacefully on their hinges. Lana flinched as they passed by.

“You okay?” Mike asked.

“Yes,” she answered through gritted teeth. The church must have rekindled her anger at the demon woman for what happened that night.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought us this way. I wasn’t thinking about your friends.”

“It is alright. But would you mind if we took a different route?”

“Of course.”

They turned, and he showed her the corner where he got into his first fight. Tommy Anderson had made fun of his shoes in front of Stacy Porter, and he couldn’t let that slide.

“Did you win?” Lana asked.

He chuckled, “Who knows. We were nine. But I sure as hell told everyone I did.”

Digging through old memories was grounding. A reminder that he was still an ordinary person with an ordinary life. Mike’s world was being rocked in more ways than one, but he was still the kid who grew up on the hill and beat Tommy Anderson in fourth grade. Even if Stacy was disappointingly unimpressed.

A short time later, his apartment building came into view. Mike began to pull his key card out when Lana stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“Thank you, Michael,” she said.

“Oh, sure, it didn’t cost much.”

“Not for that. For sharing your story with me.” Her eyes were big and earnest.

Understanding passed between them, and he answered simply, “You’re welcome.”

***

“But it does not make sense,” Lana argued around a mouthful of Lo Mein.

“Why not?”

“How can one simply forget where you last saw a companion? Or the events of the previous night?”

“Ah,” Mike smiled, “I see they’re not big drinkers where you’re from.”

Lana stared at him like he had two heads. “I may not have meals as often as a mortal, but I am familiar with the concept of drinking.”

Something tugged at the corners of his mouth and he tried hard not to laugh. “Not like that. I mean alcohol.” It was a miracle he was able to keep a straight face.

“I see. I have tried alcohol.”

“And?”

“The taste is objectionable, and I cannot become intoxicated.”

Mike blinked. “I… actually that makes sense. Anyway, when you drink too much alcohol you can sometimes forget what happened. It’s pretty common.”

“And there is no way to communicate? Even from the roof it should be simple. Could he not shout? Even a trained tiger would not agree to be led through the lobby.”

He shrugged. The movie was dumb, but dumb and funny often went hand in hand. Complex cinema it was not. “Don’t overthink it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means enjoy it for what it is. Simple, funny. If you pick it apart and dig into plot holes it’s not fun anymore.”

“I suppose.” Lana didn’t sound convinced.

Mike changed the subject. “How’s your food?”

She was devouring the noodles. They were spilling down over her chin while she barely stopped to speak around mouthfuls. Mom’s voice about talking with his mouth full was clear in his mind. Now she froze, suddenly aware of his attention, then slowly chewed the next bite. Out of the corner of her eye she watched him watch her.

“Very, umff, good. Thank you.”

Mike tried not to laugh. “Zumu has the best noodles in town. Don’t forget the egg roll.”

The reminder startled her into action. She tore through the bag until she found a small plastic package. She opened it and stared. Holding it in two fingers, Lana tilted her head from one side to the other, inspecting from different angles. “You are sure this is the egg roll?”

Why was she looking at it like it was about to attack her? “Not what you were expecting?”

She held it at a distance and leaned the other way. “Where is the egg?”

Where was the egg? He… well, he hadn’t actually considered that before. “That’s a good question. I don’t really know.”

She eyed him. “You are playing a joke on me.”

He held one hand up and placed the other over his heart. “I promise I’m not. That,” he pointed, “is an egg roll.”

Lana was getting frustrated. “I do not understand.”

Mike shrugged, cleared his throat, and said wisely, “Some things are not meant to be known.”

She snapped her head around and glared at him while she searched his face for some sign of a trick.

“Look,” he said. “If you’re going to be spending time with us, you’ll learn sooner or later that people can be dumb. We do things on impulse. We like stupid movies. And, sometimes, we give things names that don’t make any sense. We can’t help it. We like it that way.”

Not mollified in the slightest, Lana set the egg roll down on the very edge of her plate with two fingers and glanced at it warily after every bite. When they were both finished, Mike leaned back and stretched his arm over the back of the couch. He ate too much.

“Where do we eat next?” Lana asked, licking her fingers.

“We don’t,” he answered. “At least, not until tomorrow. You’re still hungry?” His shirt tied around her slim waist caught his attention. “Where do you put it?”

She suddenly looked self-conscious. “No, it is alright,” she said quickly. “Tomorrow will be sufficient.”

As the night passed, Mike was getting more and more comfortable around the woman that was turning his life upside down. Was she even a woman? Maybe that was just the image she presented, and she was really just a… being, or something. An entity. Whatever the case, she made him laugh. And she was honest and genuine. Analyzing the nuances of everyday life with her was refreshing. She found the mundane interesting, and he found himself explaining things he’d never given a second thought to. Like why it wasn’t okay that the guy let them into the building the other night. Or how people knew to face the doors when standing in an elevator. When she asked about his phone, he decided that was a conversation for another day.

“Alright,” he yawned as he stood. “I think that’s it for me. Give me a minute and I’ll get you fresh sheets.”

“Michael,” Lana said. Her quiet voice made him pause. “Would you mind if we shared the bed tonight? I find that I long for company.”

His thoughts came to a grinding halt. Company. That was a charged word.

She must have seen the look on his face, because she quickly followed with, “Unless it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, no. I mean, yes. That would be nice.”

His mind raced while he brushed his teeth. He normally slept just in boxers, but athletic shorts and a tee shirt would be safer tonight. What was she expecting? Did angels have sex? Or was he overthinking it and she really just wanted somebody to lie next to?

Before he could figure it out, he was opening the door. The room was dark, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. She was already in bed under the covers. What was she wearing? He lifted his side of the blanket and slid in.

Their hips touched first. Then he was afraid to move. So they laid like that, side by side, for what felt like an awkwardly long time but was probably only a minute. The room was quiet except for her steady breathing. Lana had very little concept of social etiquette, and probably didn’t feel nearly as awkward as he did. Should he put his arm around her? He couldn’t lift it without bumping her.

She rolled toward him and tucked herself under his arm. His hand naturally came to rest on her hip. Hers was on his chest. The feeling of soft fabric told him she was wearing the shift from the other night, but it had ridden up, and his fingertips brushed bare skin.

“Thank you, Michael,” she whispered. Her breath tickled his neck. She’d been saying that a lot lately.

“For what?” Mike asked just as quietly, careful not to break the spell.

“For taking me in. For showing me kindness.”

She molded herself against him, and his betraying mind thought only of the soft curves tucked against his side. “Anyone else would do the same. You keep making me out to be some big deal, but I’m not.” He sighed. “I’m just trying to get by.”

“You are more special than you know,” Lana answered, and fingered the collar around her neck. “This gives you power over me, and yet, you have not used it. Instead, you offer me your bed to sleep in, your clothes to wear, your food to eat.” She slid her leg up until it rested on his thighs, draping herself over him, coming dangerously close to the growing tent in his shorts.

Receiving compliments always made him feel awkward. He didn’t know how to answer, so he just held her close and gently kissed the top of her head. “It’s great having you around. I don’t think I realized how lonely I was before. I should be the one thanking you.”

She snuggled a little closer.

They stayed like that for a time. Lana was practically trying to crawl into his skin while Mike was trying not to overthink it. It didn’t help that he was hyper-sensitive to every little touch. The weight of her head on his shoulder. Her soft breath on his neck. Her silky hair on his arm. Her slim waist under his fingers.

She took his hand and kissed it, then rolled again, this time the other way, drawing his arm over her. She tucked his hand under her chin and held it tight, and their bodies molded together into a spooning position. She had to feel his erection pressing into her butt now.

But he wouldn’t make the first move. Lana had spoken of power, and how he could take advantage if he wanted. That wouldn’t be him. No matter how good she felt.

But, god, did she feel good. Was she purposely pushing back against him, or was she just getting comfortable? What if he shifted his hips forward and met her gentle pressure with his own? No. She shouldn’t feel like she had to earn kindness.

Eventually, Lana’s breathing became heavy and her grip on his hand slackened. It was a long time before he fell asleep.

Enjoying the story so far? Ratings and comments are the absolute best motivation, and I always love hearing your thoughts. See you in the next chapter!