Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Y'know, the older I get... No, the more I learn. Gotta make that distinction, because I knew some old heads back in the day who knew dick all about anything of any note. Oh, they had a head full of cherry picked Bible verses, an encyclopedic knowledge of whatever television show they'd watched, and an inability to forget any bullshit ever spewed on Fox News, let alone distinguish that from reality, but some of them couldn't even remember whether they'd spiced their chicken or not. Trust me, you do not want to eat the chicken of an auntie like that, because one piece is gonna taste like Karen seasoned it with her spiciest mineral water, and the next is gonna taste like it would blow out the o ring on Satan's asshole.

At any rate, the more I learn, the more I realize that extremes are rarely good, sustainable places to live. Extreme rules sound good. Hell, some of them sound great, and get people all fired up to follow them, enact them into law, and enforce the fuck out of them. But the thing is they always wind up fucked up somehow, and I'm not even talking about the bullshit where they say 'death to pedophiles', but in the fine print they redefine 'pedophile' from 'old person who traffics prepubescent kids to their private island to have sex with them' to 'drag queen who reads age-appropriate books to kids of all ages in the library'. No, I'm talking about the ones put together with more rage than righteousness in their hearts, the ones who need to Do Something, but somehow never managed to take a class on law or legislation or even fuckin' human nature.

Seriously, I've mentioned my ex made out of red flags before, but I'm not sure I ever talked about his literal runway model ex. Even with the red flags, dude was almost out of my league, and holy fuck on a stick but she was not only almost out of his league, other than questionable judgement she was made out of green flags as well. Unfortunately, while he was well within the Romeo and Juliet limit for me, and she was for him, she was not for me, and if someone suggested she receive any consequence for the threesome that featured oh so heavily in my private pearl polishing portfolio other than a Nobel Peace Prize and maybe enforced holy bedlock to me, I would have found a way to burn everything everywhere forever.

In other words, it might have been the result of ignorance and excremental judgement, but it was not in any way a violation of my Agency. At the same time, with Red Flag Romeo maybe being six eff and me passing for it, and Green Flag Juliet being a beautiful pastiche of all the colors of the brown rainbow, not only do those laws say she ought to be executed, fair odds it would happen on the way to the squad car, if not during the arrest.

So yeah, I'm not saying I'm supporting pedos here, I'm pointing out that the more I learn, the more I mature, the more I realize that nuance and detail are important in everything. The fine print in laws matters. Taking extremes and making them policy is never a good thing.

Making my policy for Revels 'I never Co-Locate while spending intimate time with my Worshippers' isn't a policy I thought would run afoul of that. I mean, on the one hand it doesn't sound extreme. On the other hand, it's pretty much lacking in nuance, and that wound up pointed out to me today.

So yesterday I acquired a new barnacle. Okay, the crotch goblin in question wasn't ugly in the slightest, but she was attached to me like she thought we were five miles in the air and I wouldn't catch her if she let go. Once I picked her up she transferred her grip from my pants to my shirt, and when I asked her to write her numbers out she let go with one hand to hold the chalk, but the other stayed firmly embedded in the fabric of my blouse.

When sunset rolled around, and it was time for the kids to go home, or wherever else they went at the end of the day, she did not show any signs of letting go. While it's become increasingly obvious that I am not one to avoid adopting a kid, I wasn't about to steal one from their parent or parents.

Okay, that happened one time, and Tallulah agreed to it after Saffron held her and entire City hostage. Sort of. I mean, the choices were 'peace and prosperity and your daughter lives' or 'you kill your own daughter and then the Goddess of Children is gonna was wrothful at you', so it's not like she had to do much arm twisting. Also apparently that lit Tallulah's baby fuse, so I'm just gonna stop talking before the hole my mouth has been digging gets any deeper or starts to fill with water I have to convince myself is muddy and not sewage runoff.

"Okay, Aisling. I'm gonna need to put you down now." She frowned, but descended to the floor. Where she immediately took a firm grip on the leg of my slacks. Uh, Karen?

Karen showed a moment later, but before Aisling noticed her she disappeared and thought, Goddess? A word in private, please?

So I Co-Located, one of me taking my kids home, one picking Aisling back up and saying farewell one at a time to the rest of the class as they filed out of the classroom, and one of me hopping to Karen where she stood next to the entrance to the empty oubliette. "What's up?"

She took a deep breath, clearly trying to let go of some tension. "Apologies, Goddess, but little Aisling is... Fragile."

"I mean, yeah, she's real little, but you're not talking about physically, are you?"

Karen gave me a twisted smile, shaking her head as she said, "no. No I am not, although even there it took us a while to get her to eat again after New Year's."

It did not take me more than a moment to make the connection. "The fuckin' Spartans?"

She nodded. "Her parents... We think they were her parents, anyhow, they protected her. Shielded her with their own bodies. Not enough to keep the arrows from her entirely, but enough that we could save her. Her parents were gone, and as best we can tell in the Summerlands before we found her. She watched them... Felt them bleed out onto her."

I might have snuggled Aisling a little closer as I bade farewell to her classmates. "Fuckin' Spartans. I'm suddenly sorta upset I didn't trash more of their City during the raid."

She shook her head again. "You did just the right amount of damage, Goddess. Enough that they knew without doubt that you could have done more, but not so much that they couldn't ignore it, pretend that it was some kind of natural disaster or Act of God."

I snorted. "I mean, kinda was."

"Yes, but in general they can pretend that it's just another petulant Olympian until and unless they're ready for a war with the Alliance. Which, given that they can now assume we've dispatched their expedition, they realize they are not ready for that war."

I sighed and shook my head. "It'd be nice if just for a single Season I could not have some kind of shit like that happening."

She shrugged. "We weren't attacked this Spring."

I rocked my head side to side. "Honestly, I think Ares sending Aphrodite here was intended as a kind of attack. She just refused to cooperate once we had her down there," I nodded to the oubliette.

"True. True. Still, it was more peaceful for most of the Alliance than any Season in recent memory."

I sucked at my teeth a little. "Yeah. Just, y'know, still had a chunk of tension for me. But about Aisling."

She must have realized most of the kids were out of the classroom now. "She reacts... I want to say 'violently', but it's more a panicked fit than any kind of deliberate attack, to any mention of her parents, or of the New Year's Day attack. Even hearing others talk about it can set her off, which is why..." She waved a hand to indicate our relatively secure location. Okay, definitely secure from someone Aisling's size and age. I was pretty sure Isnomi, Daya, and Davey were all bigger than her.

"She's been living here then?" Karen nodded. "I'm sort of thinking of taking her home, but at the same time I think she maybe needs some specialized care, the kind nobody there is qualified to give. I mean, maybe Siobhan, but her focus is mostly healing the Body and the Soul."

Karen tilted her head. "So...?"

"I was thinking we call in Doctor Glass from the University? Maybe see if he can recommend someone?"

She nodded. "I'll send someone over in the morning."

"What do we do with her in the meanwhile?"

Karen shrugged. "She doesn't seem very attached to anyone here. You could take her home."

"She's actually kinda attached to me right now. Clinging to my pant leg."

"Did you want me to...?"

I shook my head. "I'm not sure I'll be up for intimate Revels tonight."

Karen sighed, but nodded. "But you'll attend the Revel? Please?"

I sighed back at her, and nodded in turn. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll show up." Then chuckled and said, "maybe there's somebody who didn't get their Solstice baby blessing last week who still needs one."

Back in the classroom, I reached my hands down, and while Aisling tensed, she didn't struggle, and when I picked her up she just clung to me like a monkey. "Did you want to see where I live?"

"...kay."

I collapsed the two of us back to the Homestead while the one of me with Karen stepped to my Altar. Where it became immediately apparent that intimacy of the physical variety had been the order of the day for my Worshippers, who maybe had about a yard of clothing between a dozen of them, and most of that was supportive undergarments. The first one up was Allesia, the bookkeeper, who came straight up, put her arms around my neck, and kissed me. With tongue and tension that told me she really wanted my hands to wander rather than supporting her.

When I sat and pulled her into my lap, she pulled away far enough for me to look her in the eyes and say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not really up for anything, um, physical tonight."

She slumped a little, and I realized I had to at least give her an explanation. "It's not you! Honestly, it's not even me. Not really. There's a little girl that needs me with her tonight..."

"Aisling?" Allesia perked up immediately. I mean, perkier than she already had been walking up to me. "That poor kid. We tried to find her relatives, but she hasn't been able to tell us anything about them, and no one recognized her parents."

"Yeah. So, y'know, I can't focus on you the way I want to." She still looked kinda bummed, so I added, "I'd really, really like to." My eyes roamed down her front. She'd definitely gone all out; not only was her hair in one of those 'complicated, but will look incredible wrecked' updos, but she'd even put some makeup on. Some blush. Okay, she also had a natural blushing going on. I spotted patches of glitter, and from what I remembered she wasn't part of the teaching staff, so that had to be, y'know, applied with intent. As she preened a little and my eyes refused to stop roaming, I realized that the glitter was arranged in shapes. Arrows, really. In case I'd forgotten where her breasts were. Or her sexy bits. Sex bits. Yeah, looking at her was not doing my intention to have my way with her, sole focus or not, any good. "Really, really like to. Yeah."

She nodded, then leaned into me. After a minute wherein none of the signs of excitement on her lessened in the slightest, she whispered, "Goddess?"

"Yeah?"

"There... There are rumors that you can deliver Ecstasy with but a touch?"

I thought about it. smiled at her and shook my head. "I mean, I'd really like to, but I can't focus on you. Can't be here for you one hundred percent."

She took my hand in both of her own, then when I replied to her raised eyebrow with a nod, pulled it between her breasts. Looking down at my fingers and licking her lips, she whispered, "you need not be, Goddess. I know your reason, and... Forgive me, but if you could touch me that way, I would gladly have you do so, even as you are elsewhere caring for one of your Children."

Yeah, she wasn't forcing things, but this... Yeah, this was one of my Worshippers, tryna seduce me.

Okay, mostly succeeding. I retreated to humor. "Little bit thirsty there, eh Allesia?"

The hunger in her eyes hit me like a physical thing. "Parched. Famished. Please, Goddess, I know that your full attention will not be on me, and yet I Consent anyhow. Please, Goddess, nourish me."

Back at home I looked over at Saffron, who'd been helping me coax Aisling into eating something. Kitten?

She smiled warmly at me. Do you want to?

Yeah, but I...

Then do so. We are all of us here to make sure the little one will be cared for.

ButAisling... I stuttered to a stop, unable to figure out my problem. Allesia panting a little as she sat there, utterly still, did not help my thought process or determination not to see how much I could mess up her eye shadow and hairdo before she passed out.

Saffron, who'd just managed to get a bite of Marie's latest mac and cheese into Aisling's mouth, just nudged me with her elbow. Go on, love. As you've said, not every encounter must be a joysplosion of mutual desire and gratification with deep, emotional exchange. Sometimes it can simply be one partner caring for another. Or even a Goddess rewarding her faithful Worshippers.

Did you just quote my Doctrine at me?

Of course not. Just the thoughts you had on reading my Commentary on your Doctrine.

I'm... Oh, I'm gonna... I wanna...

Leave her Ecstatically devastated? I nodded. So if you absolutely must, get her to Consent to that then.

I looked deep into Allesia's eyes, then whispered, "if I do this, you are gonna wind up wrecked."

"I'd hoped so."

"Totally gonna be unidirectional, because I don't want to disturb the kid I'm holding at home."

Yeah, that panting had gotten more than subtle, and the tiniest whine entered her voice. "Am... Am I worthy of that?"

"Of being used like a squeaky toy?"

"Of being blessed with pure Ecstasy, while giving none in return?"

I felt my grin go absolutely feral as I said, "you let me worry about that. If you Consent to being given Ecstasy without returning the favor in any way, sit up and put your hands behind your back."

She was upright with her arms behind her back, her hands clasping her forearms, so fast that my hand slipped up her front to rest against her throat. Her eyelids fluttered as her breath caught. "Goddess."

I took a firm grip on her wrists with my other hand, quietly asking, "I wonder, will your eyes squeeze shut or pop open when I do this... Or this... Or this..." Yeah, she'd marked the delivery points for Gift Ecstasy. So I delivered.

When she stopped shuddering, she murmured out, "would that you could do that while using your hands upon me."

I tightened my grip on her wrists, pulled her back, and said, "oh, you heard I liked it when you had an orgasm, so you want me to give you an orgasm in the middle of your orgasm?"

Her eyes wide and frantic with Ecstasy and need, she said, "can you really?"

Yeah, she didn't say much of anything coherent after that. Word salad purveyor after my own heart. Karen lifted her sweat soaked, mascara blotched, still grinning form from where I gently laid her on the Altar as Emily walked up to me. Okay, sashayed up to me. I shook my head. "You too, huh?"

"It's been ever so long since you showed us this, Goddess."

I turned to the rest of the surprisingly long line waiting for me. Shaking my head as I grinned at them all in affectionate frustration, I asked, "all of you? You're all okay with this? With me seeing how hard and fast I can put you under this way? Where the only thing I'm getting out of this is amusement at your Ecstasy?"

"And Worship, Goddess. And our shared Joy," Emily added.

"Well?"

They all looked at each other, then back to me, and chorused, "that makes it even better!"