Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

Y'know, I know I go on about consequences a lot, and getting my mad on about people who don't, maybe can't seem to see the end result of their shit dickery, but the past twenty four hours have shown me that maybe I'm being too harsh on people.

Not, like, 'let people get away without consequences when they do dumb shit'. Whether I became a Goddess of Vengeance and Redemption because of my essential nature, becoming a Goddess of Vengeance and Redemption has affected me in some kind of deep and abiding way, or most likely a combination of both, I am painfully averse to keeping folks from finding out when they fuck around. I mean, the Children part of my portfolio mitigates that a little when I'm talking about kids, because they've got excuses for not knowing what's gonna happen when they light that fuse, but...

Y'know, that might be why I'm a Goddess of Redemption, too. Because somewhere deep inside I realize that some shit is definitely 'inevitable yet surprising'. Like, after the fact it's completely obvious that it was going to happen, but it might not have been quite so clear before, and there's all kinds of reasons people won't be entirely able to foresee the consequences of their actions during. Like, when both parties climax simultaneously while staring into one another's eyes, thoughts like 'they're so beautiful' and 'holy fuck this feels good', not to mention internal word salad as the peak of the event causes just as many mental convulsions as it does physical ones are all gonna scream way too loud for either party involved to hear the thought, 'did the condom just break'.

Now, if that's the first time those three events have occurred simultaneously, meaning him, her, and it, I can't see where either of the parties with Agency can be held negligent. Accountable, yeah, because neither sperm nor egg have Agency, and thus cannot be held accountable, but it's more a 'okay, now you have to decide if you're terminating, giving up for adoption, or keeping, and if that latter is he gonna be part of the solution or part of the precipitate. Okay, I guess that last needs to be decided no matter what, since she might need a ride to the clinic. Okay, she will, but the question becomes 'one' or 'nine month's worth'.

At any rate, that kinda brings me back to my own 'I should have seen that coming' moments over the past twenty four hours. No, I am not talking about the arrival of Siobean, Actual Tentative Name to be disclosed shortly. I recognize that if one puts in that requisition, especially if conceptive assistance has been rendered, offspring will be delivered. Back in the day I'd say 'you get a baby in forty weeks', but here and now has disabused me of the notion of applying set numerics to that. Fuck, 'baby' isn't even guaranteed. Eight catgirls in varying sizes from 'the tiniest bit shorter than me' for Anise and Felicia to 'gonna carry Mr. Driver around as a snack, exact definition of that last to be determined at the time of snacking' for Isadora.

I love my cowgirl, but she tall, and just a bit chonk.

At any rate, I was not surprised by Siobean's arrival. If I'd really taken the time to think about it, I might or might not have been surprised by how long the labor took, given how long Siobhan had Siobean cooking. Some of the follow on things definitely took me by surprise.

So at sunset yesterday I told Siobhan that she had one more big push to go. What with tentacles lining the baby delivery chute, not to mention sorta cradling the bean herself, I felt when Siobhan's muscles started twitching, contracting to push our much anticipated new family member into the world. Gently tugging on Siobean while forcing Siobhan's ejection port open just the tiniest bit further, I hollered, "push!"

She let out a screaming groan, and I felt the contractions squashing my tentacles around Siobean, shoving her toward the entrance. Exit. Okay, the all purpose port. Unfortunately, with Siobean's head like halfway through the tube, Siobhan collapsed, limp. "C'mon, Ice Pop! Just one more push, she's almost here!"

She jerked again, that rapid series of twitches building up to another contraction. I considered trying to force the issue, but everything that had gone before left me less than copacetic about what might happen to Darling, bean, or both if I did, so I just kept helping. I hoped I was helping. "Push!"

She shoved again, her scream as much 'wheeze' as 'groan', and Siobean's head seemed to contort. Collapse, even as I tugged gently on her whole body and forced Siobhan's birth canal just the tiniest bit wider. Then, just as Siobhan collapsed again, the bean's whole assed head seemed to collapse, pop out, and reinflate like one of those fancy bits of origami. "Holy shit! Her head's out, but her body's still in! One more! Just one more!"

I might have been a little frantic, because even if I could feel that Siobean's head and body were still fully connected, with Siobean wearing her mom like the world's weirdest Elizabethan collar, the image of her head popping out sans body left me a little panicked.

Siobhan whimpered as another series of twitches shook her. "Just one more, right now, everything you've got, PUSH!"

The next thing I knew, I held an armful of squalling, greasy infant. I was really glad I'd wrapped tentacles around her, that I pulled them with her, because she kept squirming and writing and I couldn't get my hands around her. I think part of my brain shut down, because I hollered out, "it's a girl!" When Saffron shot me a look, I couldn't help myself, lifted the long dangly bit with a tentacle and said, "oh, my god, she's hung like a horse!" That got me a head tilt from Saffron, although I didn't get the hoped for laugh from Siobhan when I followed that with, "oh, no, wait, that's the umbilical."

Yeah, Aunties, DVD's, nobody knew he was a predator back then.

Canta knelt next to me, a tiny, almost ceremonial knife in his hand. I gave him a look when he brought it near the bean, but either he didn't notice or didn't understand, because he calmly pulled a loop of the umbilical and sliced it about a foot from Siobean, then those long, dexterous fingers of his tied it off into a snug little knot on her belly. The bean herself had started squawking, and Siobhan made confused, upset, exhausted Siobhan noises, so I stood and, using hands and tentacles both for extra grip on the precious cargo, carried her around and laid her next to her mom. Who, for her part, looked down with a moment of exhausted clarity, whispered, "Eve," then with a single motion stroked her daughter's hair back and pulled the little one to her breast.

I've heard some babies have trouble latching on. Eve did not. Not in the slightest. One slight momentary sound of slurpy suction, then Siobhan's eyes popped open like somebody'd just gone in through the out door, or more accurately attached a high powered suction device to a sensitive spot. A moment later they fluttered closed.

"Is she okay?" I whispered.

Saffron smiled. "Just... Sleeping. Which our new little one will no doubt do the moment her belly is full."

"Did Isnomi do that? Latch on and suck until she fell asleep?"

Saffron snorted. "After more than a minute of painful rooching around and giving me excruciating on the sides of my boobs, yes."

After we sat there for a bit, Canta cleared his throat. "Ladies?"

Saffron and I both looked at him. I nodded while Saffron said, "yes, Lord?"

"Normally more contractions would be required to expel the afterbirth, but I'm not sure she's in any condition to do so. She'll begin having them anyhow shortly, and I think for all our sakes I'd like to remove it before she does, which will no doubt wake her and the babe."

Saffron sighed and started to move. When I held her in place she looked at me and said, "I've got the smallest hands, love."

I just head bunted her and replied, "still got thinner tentacles. Stay here with your daughter."

She smiled and hugged me. "Our daughter, Goof."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I notice who never left Darling's side for the past three days."

She just whispered, "thank you, love," as she turned back to watch Eve nurse.

I will not be describing details of the procedure that follows, other than to say 'ew', 'blech', 'gyeahh', and even maybe 'hrrk'. I wound up really glad that nothing that goes down my throat comes back. Okay, sex toys and body parts don't count. Here and now I've got no gag reflex, so I didn't upchuck.

Actually, I realized right as I glooped everything together in a pair of towels that I hadn't really eaten anything since we left Lindsey's camp. Okay, maybe I absentmindedly nommed a couple of the crackers Siobhan didn't eat, but we're talking at most a handful of oyster crackers. My metabolism runs through that many calories in a minute or two on a lazy day, and the past couple days had been anything but lazy. On the other hand, I did not feel at all hungry. I thought about it, and realized I felt a slow, steady stream of Worship coming from a half-dozen locations.

Karen?

Yes, Goddess? Did you need something?

Have you ladies got Revels ongoing at the Temples or something?

That got me a bit of a mental chuckle. It's not Freyday, nor any other holiday to speak of, so no, of course not. Before I could ask, she added, rotating groups your faithful have been praying for High Priestess Darling's childbirth though since last Freyday, though.

Uh... They know about that?

We announced it to let the faithful know where you were. Many of them have asked us to do so, since they know you would not forsake them for anything but an emergency, and they wish to support you in whatever way they can. A tiny spark of worry leaked from her. Did we overstep?

I chuckled, both in my head and as I scooped up the bundle of yuck. Oh, hell no. Thank you, in fact. I think Canta and I are the only ones here who aren't completely strung out. Snores came from the bed. More than one set. When I looked up, I saw Saffron lying face to face with Siobhan, little Eve snoring and drooling milk in between them.

I wasn't gonna give Canta shit about how he'd knelt next to the bed, leaned forward in an almost reverent position, closed his eyes, and was clearly praying or something, not asleep like it looked like.

I turned to Marie, who slow blinked at me. "Hey," I whispered, "what do I do with this?" She frowned a little, opened her mouth, and I preemptively said, "I'm not eating it." Then added, "neither are either of them."

She just grinned at me. "Spoilsport."

"Hey, I didn't say you couldn't make some kinda rich meaty stew for when they wake up, and absolutely refuse to tell them what you made it from." She grinned, and it didn't dull when I said, "but not with this. What do I do with it?"

She shrugged. "Bury It?"

"Like, a funeral? That seems weird."

She shook her head. "Fertilizer."

"Huh. Okay. Where should I bury it?"

"Vegetable Garden."

That made sense. "Okay. Can you keep an eye on them while I go do that?" She nodded, and I headed for the Bore.

I got as far as the hallway, where I wound up ambushed by our horde of offspring. I slipped the door closed behind me as fast as I could, then cut off the impending wave of questions or shouts with, "It's okay, everybody's okay, they're just resting."

Menace frowned at me. "Why da towahs aww bwuddy?"

I rolled my eyes. "Childbirth is very messy. Very, very messy, and sometimes it gets bloody messy."

She shot me all the sus side eye in the world and asked, "you suwah dey otay?"

I sighed. "Yes, Menace. They're fine. Everyone in there needs to sleep now, though. You all should be asleep too."

"Wen we ged doo meed hew?"

I smiled down at the horde. Okay, smiled up at a couple of them, like Isadora. "Maybe, and I mean maybe, in the morning after everyone is cleaned up. That means Siobhan, the baby, and all of you getting washed up like we did with the kits."

She stared at me a few more seconds before nodding and saying, "otay." Then she turned and announced, "ewwabody ged doo bed."

Before I reached the end of the hall I realized something, then turned back and thumped my shoulder against Lindsey's door. When she opened it, I asked, "can you show me where the vegetable garden is?"

I was definitely too keyed up to sleep. Or maybe it was the cocaine enema effect of half a dozen Temples worth off people praying at me. Worshipping me, I guess. I mean, I wasn't glowing or anything, but I absolutely wasn't tired, even if I maybe wound up a little, I dunno, frenetic. I don't know why I still need sleep, but I still kinda do, or I get a little erratic, I think.

So after burying the afterbirth deep under a corner of the vegetable garden, which was tucked in next to where East House met the mountainside, just like the other two near North and South House, or so Lindsey told me, I went back to the kitchen. I burned off some of that frenetic energy making a massive breakfast. Probably more than anybody needed, but we had like two dozen people who would be eating, and I wasn't sure anybody'd fed them anything like their normal meals while the rest of us were up in the bedroom with Siobhan.

I also hopped up to the Bath and prepped a bunch of stuff. Hot, damp wash cloths, warm dry towels, and I found a wooden bucket tucked away in one of the closets that I filled with warm, soapy water. I took all that down to the bedroom when the first kids arrived in the Bath to undergo their required pre-baby-meeting cleaning.

I take it as a personal triumph that my oldest and smallest kids both take getting clean seriously enough that I didn't feel the need to hang around and make sure they got clean enough to meet a newborn. I mean, I kept one of me Blended and Co-Located there anyhow, because from what I could tell Sigyn and Loki were both sleeping off a couple days of kid wrangling, or maybe even celebrating the newborn with some dry runs of making little Eve a new uncle or something. They weren't anywhere to be seen, at any rate, although I detected Sigyn's touch in the vast array of cold cuts, chilled soup, and cookies in the kitchen storage.

When I got back to the bedroom, Siobhan had rolled over, Eve was attached to her other tit, sucking for all she was worth, and Saffron had spooned up behind Siobhan. Unfortunately baby Eve had offloaded. Right on the sheets. Fortunately it did not smell at all, despite looking like abused motor oil. I wiped it up and soaked the sheet until it was just a vague green stain; between that and cleaning up the bloody mess where the afterbirth came out I used up about half of the soapy water and cloths. I also slipped a diaper around Eve's bottom after gently wiping her clean.

I heard Siobhan's stomach rumbling like thunder before I realized she was awake. When I looked up, she was still blinking herself awake. "Oh. Forgive me, i think I..." Then she got cross eyed as Eve returned to full on suction. She looked down and whispered, "she's so beautiful."

"She is. You want me to sponge you down?"

"You... You don't..."

I rolled my eyes. "I want to, Darling. You're still exhausted."

"How do you know?"

"You'd be holding her if you could move your arms appreciably."

Siobhan snorted. "Never call yourself stupid or unobservant again, Tabitha."

I raised an eyebrow as I began sponging Siobhan down, starting with her feet and working upward. "Giving me orders now, huh?"

She got the cutest little look of embarrassment. "I..."

"Didn't say anything I wouldn't have, or anything she doesn't need to hear more often," murmured Saffron. She levered herself up, took a cloth from my supply, and quickly wiped herself down before grabbing a fresh cloth and starting in on Siobhan's face.

"I mustn't get used to the two of you pampering me."

Saffron and I looked at each other, nodded, and I tapped Siobhan's thigh to get her to look at me. "Yes. Yes, you absolutely must get used to being pampered by us."

"But..."

"That is a Commandment from your Goddess. Get pampered, Ice Pop. Get absolutely loved and cherished."

"Okay," she whispered, then looked down at our newest daughter again. "That's so strange."

"I know, right?"

Right about then Siobhan's stomach rumbled again. This time it was loud enough to wake Canta and Marie both, Canta still slumped over the side of the bed, Marie curled up above Siobhan and Saffron's heads. A moment later, Tallulah showed up wearing her full court regalia.

"Apologies, all. I had to deal with some Court matters." She delivered that line in a tone that told everyone in the room that whoever had forced her to be in Rich Man's Port would regret it if they were very, very lucky.

"No worries, T. Can you help me bring breakfast up, then," I looked the question at the newest official addition to the Mom Collective. "Bring the kids in?"

Siobhan smiled a tired smile and shifted her head in a minimalist nod. "Let's let them meet their new... Sister?"

"Absolutely."

A few minutes later, as Marie, T, and I delivered breakfast to the bedroom, the first thing I did not expect happened. Or really, started happening. When Siobhan smelled the food, her eyes got wide, she instinctively pulled Eve into the nursing football carry, and she sat up on the edge of the bed, her other hand reaching for the tureen of bisque. I spooned her out a bowl as she made impatient grabbing motions, and she grabbed it one handed, ignoring the spoon I held out and straight up tipping the bowl back and chugging the whole thing.

When she'd tipped it upside down over her mouth, she sat back upright, held the bowl out, and growled out the cutest little, "more!"

Yeah, she was still nomming when the kids arrived. Kept doing so as Saffron introduced our kids to Eve, first as a crowd then one at a time as they cycled through both baby greeting and grabbing noms. Siobhan growled at any of them that went near the bisque tureen, and she kept making little grabby motions at it every time her hands had no food in them. I managed to get her to down some waffles, some sausage, and some chopped up fruit and veg, but by lunch time she'd managed to not only pack away a meal worthy of me at the Academy, she'd also down the entire tureen of soup as well.

"More?"

"Sorry, Darling." I tipped the tureen up, showing her that I'd poured the last of it into her bowl already. At which point she took a deep breath, groaned as she dropped one hand down to her re-distended belly, and let out a massive belch.

Her hand leapt of it's own accord to her lips. "Oh, Goddess. Forgive me!" Every adult in the room shared a look, then burst out laughing. "What's wrong?"

Saffron recovered first, nuzzling against Siobhan's neck and murmuring, "nothing is wrong, beloved Darling. Nothing at all." Then, smiling, she asked the question that wasn't really a question at this point, the thing we'd all been thinking. "Not nauseous any more, are you?"