Chapter 185: Selfishness
Though he felt it was excessive, Vahn accepted Venelana's suggestion that she be punished by permitting her to maintain a forehead-to-floor dogeza as he sat on the sofa in his room and communicated with Himmel regarding the Frieren situation.
[So that's how she views me...] muttered Himmel, his telepathic voice poised but tinged with melancholy.
[Since it's something she decided for herself, I didn't refuse her request] stated Vahn, exhaling faintly from his nose as he added. [However, I have no intention of laying a hand on her, and given what I know of her, I don't imagine she'll come onto me anytime soon. You still have time to sway her heart and mind.]
[Haaaa...perhaps...] responded Himmel, the exasperation in his tone clear.
Feeling the conversation was taking a turn for the worse, Vahn decided to shift topics, albeit within the same general subject, asking [I should have asked this previously, but when you confessed, how did you go about it? I find it odd she didn't at least give you a chance, considering what you told me when we first discussed her.]
Following a lengthy pause, Himmel eventually revealed [I tried following your advice by expressing my feelings and willingness to court her for as long as it took.]
[I hope you didn't use those exact words...] remarked Vahn, his brows furrowing as he pointed out [Because spoken plainly, it comes across as overly forward, bordering on selfish.]
[Selfish...?] repeated Himmel, clearly confused.
[I mean, try putting yourself in Frieren's shoes] said Vahn, clarifying [She has more than a thousand years and, as you've said, Elves are remarkably slow to change. Her Master was a human Mage who perished long ago, so the notion that there is a vast disparity between the lifespan of Elves and humans is likely deeply ingrained in her mind, attached to a feeling of loss she may never have reconciled. Confessing to her was the right thing to do, but the part about courting her for as long as it took was too much, presumably leading her to believe you were prepared to throw your life or humanity away for the possibility of being with her. At the very least, that would explain her conspicuous attempt to distance herself from you. She is likely far more concerned for your future than her own...]
Though he felt uncertain near the beginning, Himmel found Vahn's words increasingly persuasive, compelling him to dryly, jokingly remark [It would appear I have erred rather spectacularly...]
Regaining a faint smile, Vahn asserted [Fortunately, time moves forward, and the events of the past generally only exist in our memories. It might take some time, but as an Ascendee, you conceivably have thousands of years to convince Frieren of your feelings. And once she realizes it isn't a bother but a blessing to have you around, the two of you can study Magic and build a life together.]