Roommates With Benefits [BL]

•⋅⊰∙∘☾✶☽∘∙⊱⋅•✾•⋅⊰∙∘☾✶☽∘∙⊱⋅•

For a few seconds after Maya finished speaking, I was completely at a loss for what to even do with my fuck ass life.

I stood there, drink in hand, surrounded by laughter, dancing, and a celebration marking a marriage that had somehow survived Joey’s personality long enough to reach the wedding day.

The music was playing, soft lights illuminated the decorated ceiling above us, and somewhere behind me, someone had decided that this was the ideal moment to dive into a very animated discussion about cake.

Everything around me carried on as if nothing had changed, but something had and Maya’s words had burrowed under my skin.

I couldn’t stop replaying them, even though I wished I could.

You have to let him go.

I found myself staring down at my drink, watching the ice shift every time I moved the glass.

Maybe she was right.

Just thinking that made my chest tighten.

For years, I’d told myself I wasn’t waiting anymore. I’d built a life...gotten a job, taken on responsibilities, made friends with coworkers, and created a routine that kept me busy enough that most days went by without me dwelling on what was missing.

I wasn’t standing by the window every night, gazing dramatically into the rain, waiting for Damien to come galloping back into my life on a white horse.

That would have been ridiculous, and besides, Damien never owned a white horse...I mean, as far as I knew.

But the thing was, moving on wasn’t just about not waiting by that window, it was about actually making space for someone else.

And it seems I had been pretty skilled at keeping that particular door locked.

I glanced across the room.

Connor was near one of the tables, chatting with a couple of people from Maya’s workplace. He looked relaxed, one hand wrapped around his glass as he listened to whoever was speaking. When he caught my eye, he smiled.

I quickly averted my gaze, then I looked back.

He was still smiling and I let out a quiet sigh.

Maybe Maya wasn’t nudging me to fall for Connor.

Maybe she was just asking me to stop deciding that no one else was worth the risk before I even gave them a fair shot.

I caught my reflection in the dark surface of my drink.

"This is a terrible fucking idea," I muttered.

Maya overheard me. "What is?"

"Nothing."

She smiled."You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?"

"I hate that you know me."

"I’ve known you for years."

"That’s unfortunate for both of us."

She let out a soft laugh as I glanced at Connor again, then I took a deep breath.

"Fine."

Maya’s eyebrows shot up. "Fine?"

"I’ll talk to him."

"Good," Her smile widened. "Because I didn’t imply you had to marry him."

"Good, because that’d be a pretty intense first date."

She chuckled, just as I was getting ready to walk away, Maya’s expression shifted. She looked at me for a moment before lowering her voice.

"There’s something else."

I could tell from her face that I wasn’t going to like this. "What?"

"You’ve heard the rumors, right?"

My stomach tightened. "What rumors?"

She shot me a look. "About Damien."

I didn’t answer right away, of course I had heard them.

It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out.

Damien Lockwood had spent the last couple of years becoming one of the most recognizable young CEOs in the country.

His face popped up in business magazines, charity campaigns, interviews, newspapers, and the occasional article that seemed more intrigued by his personal life than his company.

And recently, there had been pictures.

Damien at an event, Damien alongside the actress Isabella Sommers.

Damien leaving the same restaurant, Damien smiling at her and Damien supposedly spending time with her.

The internet had taken it from there.

I had seen the rumors and, honestly, I’d wasted way too much time convincing myself they didn’t matter.

"I’ve heard them," I finally admitted.

Maya nodded. "The ones about Isabella Sommers?"

I swallowed hard. "Yeah."

There was a pause.

"I thought it was just gossip," I murmured. "I mean, Damien isn’t even into women."

Maya’s expression softened. "I know...but still."

I hated how gently she said it, for a second, neither of us spoke.

I looked down at my drink again, the truth was, those rumors had stung.

More than I ever admitted to myself.

Even after all this time, some silly part of me had clung to the idea that if Damien hadn’t come back, there had to be a reason.

Maybe he was busy. Maybe things had changed. Maybe his family situation was more complicated than we’d ever expected.

Maybe one day he would still return.

And as long as I could convince myself there was no one else, I could keep that little glimmer of hope tucked away inside.

But if he had moved on, if there was someone else now, then what exactly was I even waiting for?

Maya reached over and rested her hand on my shoulder. "You deserve to be happy too."

I managed a small smile."I’ll try."

She squeezed my shoulder before letting go. "That’s all I’m asking."

I nodded, then I turned my gaze back to Connor. "All right."

Maya smiled. "Go."

"Stop pushing."

"I’m not pushing."

"You are literally pushing me with your eyes."

She laughed and I shook my head and started to walk away before she could say anything else.

I spotted a waiter carrying a tray of drinks and grabbed two glasses...one for Connor and one for myself.

Honestly, carrying a drink gave my hands something to do instead of revealing how nervous I truly was.

When I reached Connor, he looked pleasantly surprised.

"I thought you’d made a getaway."

"I thought about it."

He chuckled. "I’m glad you didn’t."

I handed him one of the glasses. "Here."

"Thanks."

We stood beside each other for a moment, just watching the dance floor.

"So," he said, "you really are Maya’s best friend?"

"One of them."

"What does that mean?"

"It means she has other victims."

He laughed. "Joey?"

"Unfortunately."

"I’m starting to see it."

I smiled as Connor took a sip of his drink.

"I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable earlier."

I glanced at him. "When you asked me out?"

"Yeah."

"No."

I hesitated. "Maybe a little."

He laughed. "Fair enough."

"I wasn’t expecting it."

"I figured."

"But I wasn’t completely uncomfortable."

His smile softened. "Good."

It felt so easy to talk to him. He wasn’t overdoing it. He didn’t stare at me or try to impress me with some cheesy line. He just talked, listened, and occasionally made me laugh.

It was nice and different.