The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Fantastic.

Roxie glanced at the condoms beside Caleb and realized she unfortunately understood something about his night too.

Caleb looked at Zac, then back at Roxie, and for a second neither of them seemed capable of deciding what the least embarrassing thing to do was. Finally Caleb reached for the box, grabbed it and muttered something Roxie barely heard before disappearing from the aisle so quickly she almost laughed.

Zac watched him leave, then slowly looked at Roxie.

"Was that Caleb?"

"Yep."

His eyes shifted toward the shelf beside her before returning to her face.

"Oh."

"Exactly."

Zac looked like he might ask something else.

Roxie immediately pointed at him. "Whatever you’re thinking, keep it."

"I wasn’t gonna ask."

"Good."

She walked toward him and grabbed his arm because she wanted out of the condom aisle before Caleb somehow came back and made the entire situation worse. They had already driven to another town in the middle of the night because Roxie refused to buy emergency contraception anywhere near Briarwick. Running into Angela’s boyfriend while he was buying condoms had never entered any possible version of how she expected this trip to go.

The second the automatic doors opened, Roxie walked faster.

Zac followed her toward the Tesla. "You know nobody cared, right?"

"I cared."

"That’s different."

"It’s enough."

He unlocked the car, and Roxie climbed into the passenger seat before pulling her hood down and leaning back against the headrest. The quiet inside the Tesla felt completely different from when they first arrived. Earlier, neither of them had wanted to move. They had sat outside staring at the pharmacy like going inside would somehow make what happened more real.

Now at least they had done something.

Zac climbed in beside her, took the bottle of water from the bag and opened it before handing it over. Roxie took what they came for, swallowed it with several drinks and sat there holding the bottle afterward while Zac stayed quiet.

She appreciated that.

For a while she simply stared through the windshield at the pharmacy entrance. The fear was still there, and she knew taking one pill wasn’t going to magically erase every anxious thought she had, but it helped knowing they had handled the part they could handle tonight.

Zac eventually looked over. "You okay?"

Roxie nodded slowly. "Yeah."

He kept watching her.

"Better."

That seemed to be enough for him.

He rested one hand on the center console between them, close enough that Roxie could take it if she wanted. She slipped her hand into his without saying anything, and Zac laced their fingers together.

Another quiet minute passed.

Then Roxie looked toward the pharmacy again.

Caleb’s horrified face immediately came back to her.

A laugh escaped.

Zac turned. "What?"

Roxie pressed her lips together, but that only lasted a few seconds.

"Caleb."

Zac groaned.

Roxie started laughing harder. "What are the fucking chances?"

"I don’t know."

"We drove to another town."

"I know."

"Another town, Zac."

He was already starting to smile.

"And somehow Angela’s boyfriend is in the condom aisle."

Zac leaned his head back against the seat. "I really don’t need the details."

"Neither did I!"

That made him laugh.

Roxie covered her face while the whole thing replayed in her head. Caleb reaching for the exact same box. Both of them realizing who the other person was. Zac appearing at the end of the aisle with the pharmacy bag like the universe had decided everybody needed to know way more than they wanted.

Then another thought hit her.

Roxie dropped her hands. "Oh my God."

Zac looked over. "What now?"

"Angela."

"What about her?"

"I have to see her tomorrow."

Zac stared at her.

Roxie could already feel another laugh coming.

"She’s gonna walk up to me like everything is completely normal."

"Everything probably is normal."

"No, it isn’t."

"For her it might be."

"That’s worse."

Zac started the car but stayed parked while Roxie stared through the windshield imagining Angela walking into school tomorrow completely unaware that Roxie had seen her boyfriend buying condoms.

"What if she’s smiling?"

Zac looked over. "People smile."

"I’ll know."

"Know what?"

Roxie stared at him. "Things."

He laughed.

"I didn’t ask for these things."

"You still barely know anything."

"I know enough."

"You saw him buying condoms."

"Exactly."

"That tells you almost nothing. Besides, if he tells her he saw you too..."

Roxie’s mouth fell open.

"Oh God."

Zac laughed and finally pulled out of the parking space.

Roxie looked out the window as they headed toward the exit. "If Angela says she’s tired tomorrow, I’m leaving."

"You’re fucking ridiculous. You can tell her you’re tired too."

"Zac!"

His laugh got louder.

Roxie shoved his arm lightly before settling deeper into the seat as they turned onto the road.

The farther they got from the pharmacy, the lighter everything became. The radio played quietly while streetlights passed across the windshield, and Zac kept one hand on the wheel while Roxie held the other.

She lasted maybe five minutes before Caleb flashed into her head again.

Roxie snorted.

Zac sighed. "Are you gonna do this the whole way home?"

"Probably."

"Great."

"Imagine how Caleb feels."

"I’m trying very hard not to."

Roxie turned toward him. "He knows."

Zac glanced over. "Knows what?"

"That we’re back together."

The thought settled differently than everything else.

They were still publicly broken up. Karen and Angela knew the truth, and Zac’s friends knew enough, but Sweetheart hadn’t happened yet. Roxie had been careful about keeping the reconciliation quiet because she still intended to follow through with Noah.

Now Caleb had seen them together after midnight in another town.

"Well, you didn’t want other people knowing yet." Zac glanced at her. "Want me to talk to him?"

Roxie thought about it, then shook her head. "No. Caleb’s cool."

Besides, Caleb had his own reason to keep his mouth shut.

If he told anyone he had seen Roxie and Zac together at that pharmacy, somebody might naturally ask what Caleb had been doing there in the first place.

Roxie knew exactly what he had been doing.

Neither of them benefited from opening their mouths.

"Fine," Roxie said. "Nobody saw anything."

Zac smiled slightly. "Apparently."

Roxie leaned back again.

That lasted maybe thirty seconds before another thought arrived.

"Do you think Angela knows?"

Zac groaned.

"What?"

"I thought we were done."

"We are. I’m just asking."

"I have no idea."

"She probably knows."

"Okay."

"They’re dating."

"Roxie."

"What?"

"I really don’t want to spend the drive home discussing Angela and Caleb having sex."

Roxie burst out laughing. "I didn’t say they were having sex."

"You’re getting there."

"I said condoms."

"Please stop."

"You’re such a baby."

Zac shook his head while Roxie continued laughing, but eventually the conversation faded and the car became quiet again.

They drove for a while before Roxie looked down at their joined hands.

"I really think I should look into birth control."

Zac glanced over. "I support this idea."

The answer came a little too quickly.

Roxie looked at him.

His eyes stayed firmly on the road.

"Fuck off."

Zac laughed. "What?"

"You know what."

"I said I support it."

"Way too enthusiastically."

"I’m being supportive."

"Sure."

She shifted in her seat, suddenly embarrassed by where both their thoughts had gone. "I mean generally. For safety. Tonight scared me."

That changed his expression.

"I know."

Roxie rubbed her thumb over the side of his hand. "I just don’t want to end up panicking like that again."

"Yeah."

"And it doesn’t mean anything suddenly has to change."

Zac nodded. "I know."

Roxie glanced at him.

He was serious now, which made it easier.

"I think it’s smart," he said. "You can look into it."

"I will."

They let the subject go after that.

By the time they reached the bungalow, Roxie was exhausted enough that she barely remembered walking from the Tesla to the door. She washed her face, changed and climbed into bed while Zac finished up in the bathroom.

He came in a few minutes later, shut off the light and slid beneath the blanket beside her.

Roxie immediately moved toward him.

His arm came around her, and she rested her head against his chest while the room settled into silence. For a while neither of them said anything. Zac’s fingers moved lazily through her hair, and Roxie listened to his breathing until her body finally stopped feeling like it had been tense for hours.

"You okay?" he asked eventually.

Roxie thought about it.

She was still scared.

She would probably think about tonight again tomorrow and scare herself all over again.

But right now the panic had finally quieted.

"Better."

Zac kissed the top of her head.

Roxie lifted her face and kissed him.

It was supposed to be quick.

Somewhere between Zac kissing her back and Roxie sliding her hand behind his neck, that plan disappeared.

The kiss deepened, and Zac pulled her closer until Roxie was half against him. She could feel the warmth of his hand at her waist and the familiar way his breathing changed when she kissed him harder.

Then she felt exactly how affected he was again.

Roxie stopped kissing him long enough to stare.

"Seriously?"

Zac looked almost embarrassed. "I can’t help it."

"After tonight?"

"I know."

Roxie started laughing. "Your body learned absolutely nothing."

"That’s unfair."

"We literally drove to another town because of this."

"That wasn’t exactly because of this."

"It was close enough."

Zac smiled and kissed her again.

Roxie meant to push him away after one kiss.

She kissed him back instead.

That was the problem.

She was exhausted. She was still sore. She knew perfectly well they needed sleep, yet apparently her own body had also learned absolutely nothing because the longer Zac kissed her, the harder it became to remember why she had been making fun of him.

"We need sleep," Roxie murmured against his mouth.

"Yeah."

Neither of them stopped.