The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Zac’s POV

Zac knew something had happened the second Roxie walked into Chemistry with Karen and Angela.

He had been copying the assignment from Dylan’s notebook when the three of them came through the door together. Karen was holding Roxie’s coffee even though Roxie clearly had both hands free, while Angela stayed close enough that their shoulders kept brushing as they walked. Roxie looked irritated by both of them, which was normal, but the rest of her face gave her away.

Her eyes were swollen enough that Zac knew she had been crying.

He stopped writing and watched while Roxie dropped her bag beside her desk and took the coffee from Karen. She muttered something that made Karen roll her eyes, Angela laughed, and Roxie sat down between them looking tired enough that Zac wondered how much sleep she had gotten.

Then Roxie looked across the room and caught him staring.

Their eyes met long enough for Zac to know she had already figured out what he was thinking. He wanted to ask what happened, but after everything between them, even that suddenly felt complicated. He looked back down at Dylan’s notebook and tried to find the line he had been copying before she walked in.

He had no fucking clue where he left off.

Mason dropped into the seat behind him a few seconds later and kicked the back of Zac’s chair.

Zac looked over his shoulder. "What?"

Mason just grinned while pulling his notebook from his bag, and Zac looked toward Roxie again before he could stop himself.

Karen had already dragged her chair closer to Roxie’s desk and was talking quietly while Angela pushed half of a granola bar toward her. Roxie frowned at it and said something Zac could not hear. Angela pushed it closer anyway, and after another annoyed look, Roxie finally took it and bit into it.

Something serious had happened if Angela was watching whether Roxie ate and Karen was staying that close without Roxie trying to escape.

Mr. Callahan still had not arrived when Roxie got up and walked toward the supply counter on Zac’s side of the room. Zac watched her come closer, and from only a few feet away he could see the redness underneath her makeup even more clearly.

She passed his desk.

"Rox..."

The name came out before he decided whether he should say anything.

Roxie stopped and turned toward him.

That made everything worse because she simply waited. There was no eye roll, no sarcastic comment, no immediate defense. She looked at him like she expected him to finish whatever he had started.

Zac wanted to ask if she was okay. He wanted to know who made her cry and whether something had happened with Mr. Robinson or Jason. Claire had been dead for weeks, but Zac had seen enough of Roxie’s grief to know it could still hit her whenever it wanted.

Worse, part of him wondered whether the crying had something to do with him.

A few weeks ago, he would have kept asking until she answered.

Now he was not even sure he had the right to ask once.

Zac swallowed. "Nothing."

Something shifted in Roxie’s expression before she covered it. She gave him a small nod and continued toward the counter, leaving Zac staring at the notebook and wishing he had either kept his mouth shut completely or finished the fucking question.

Mason leaned forward behind him. "That was painful."

Zac turned around. "You want to die before first period ends?"

"I’m just saying."

"Dick."

Mason leaned back again, still amused, but Zac had already noticed Karen watching him from across the room.

Usually Karen’s expression around him was easy to understand. She either disliked him, wanted to argue with him or was deciding whether Roxie would get pissed if she insulted him directly. Today she looked different. She had clearly seen Zac stop himself from asking what was wrong, and something about it seemed to bother her too.

She looked away before Zac could figure out why.

Mr. Callahan came in a minute later carrying a stack of papers and immediately started explaining the experiment they were supposed to finish. Zac tried paying attention, but his eyes kept wandering toward Roxie’s side of the room.

Karen touched Roxie’s shoulder whenever she passed behind her chair. Angela kept sliding the coffee closer when Roxie forgot about it. At one point Roxie tried pushing the rest of the granola bar away, and Angela pushed it straight back until Roxie finished it.

Whatever had happened, both girls knew.

Part of Zac felt relieved by that because Roxie had spent years handling everything alone and pretending she preferred it that way. If Karen and Angela finally knew enough to notice when Roxie needed somebody around her, that was good.

The other part of him felt strangely left behind.

A few weeks ago, Zac knew almost everything happening in Roxie’s life. He knew when Claire died, when money was tight, when something was bothering her and when Roxie was pretending she was fine because asking anyone for help pissed her off.

Now he could look at her swollen eyes and have no fucking clue.

He had never wanted Roxie to keep everything from Karen and Angela. He knew they were her best friends, and he knew she needed more people than him. Still, watching the three girls together made him wonder whether Roxie had finally told them everything.

If she had, Zac was glad.

That did not make it hurt any less knowing he might no longer be the person she told those things to.

"Prescott."

Zac looked toward the front.

Mr. Callahan stared at him. "Would you like to join us?"

A few people laughed.

Zac straightened in his chair. "I’m listening."

"Excellent. Explain why the reaction rate increased."

Zac glanced at the board and pieced together enough from the equation to give an answer. Mr. Callahan looked like he knew Zac had been paying attention to everything except Chemistry, but apparently the answer was good enough because he moved on.

Mason leaned forward and whispered, "Lucky bastard."

Zac ignored him and finally forced himself to concentrate until the bell rang.

Everyone started packing at once. Zac shoved his notebook into his bag while telling himself to stop looking toward Roxie.

Then Noah appeared in the doorway.

That made avoiding her almost impossible.

Noah leaned against the frame and called Roxie’s name. She looked over, and some of the tiredness disappeared from her face when she saw him.

Zac hated that immediately.

Roxie walked toward Noah while Karen and Angela stayed near her desk. Noah handed her a paper and started explaining something while Roxie looked through it. Their conversation looked completely ordinary until Noah said something that made her smile.

He never touched her, and Roxie was not openly flirting with him. They simply looked comfortable standing there talking to each other, which somehow bothered Zac more than if Noah had been obviously trying something.

Mike had been easy to dismiss because Zac understood what Mike was. Half the time Roxie had let him hang around because she knew Zac was watching, and Mike had been perfectly willing to help her piss him off.

Noah was different.

Noah had actually asked Roxie to Sweetheart, and Roxie had actually said yes. Zac knew because everybody at Briarwick knew everything within twenty minutes, and Mason had made it his life’s mission to tell Zac anything he heard about Roxie.

Zac shoved his bag closed harder than necessary.

Mason followed his attention toward the doorway. "Jealous?"

Zac looked at him. "Fuck you."

"I have an uncle who’s a criminal lawyer. I can probably squeeze you into his busy schedule."

Zac sighed and gave him the exaggerated look Mason was clearly waiting for. "Really?"

Mason grinned. "Because you look like you’re considering murder."

"Fuck off."

Noah said something else before leaving, and Roxie watched him go for a moment. Karen immediately walked over and started talking into Roxie’s ear, probably asking something annoying because Roxie shoved her away.

Karen laughed.

Zac looked toward the door and reminded himself that he was the one who had broken up with Roxie, so if she wanted to go to Sweetheart with Noah, she could.

He hated every fucking word of that sentence.

By lunch, the Sweetheart fundraiser seemed to have infected the entire school. Temporary posters were already appearing around the cafeteria and hallways while Photography Club worked on the actual promotional material, and student council had tables set up for people interested in performing.

Mason dropped into the seat across from Zac holding one of the flyers.

"I’m doing it."

Kyle looked up from his food. "Nobody asked."

"Girls will donate."

"For you to leave?"

Mason pointed at him. "You’re jealous."

"Of what?"

"My appeal."

Dylan sat beside Zac and took the flyer from Mason. "What are you even planning to do?"

Mason shrugged. "Something like Magic Mike."

Dylan looked him over. "Okay, Raygun."

Kyle laughed hard enough to nearly choke on his drink.

Dylan handed Mason the flyer back. "Settle down. You’re still an Eagle."

"Fuck you. I can dance."

Kyle wiped his mouth. "You almost tore your ACL trying to body roll at your birthday."

"That floor was slippery."

"You were on carpet."

Mason flipped him off while insisting none of them understood talent, and Zac opened his drink as the argument continued.

Eventually Mason looked over the flyer again. "Kendall’s doing it. Roxie too."

Zac looked up before he could stop himself.

Mason caught it immediately, and his grin spread. "Oh, this is gonna be fun."

Zac kicked him under the table.

"Fuck!" Mason kicked back. "Asshole."

Dylan shook his head while Kyle continued telling Mason exactly why nobody wanted to watch him attempt Magic Mike in a school gym.

Zac barely listened because he already knew why Roxie was participating. Nationals mattered to her, and if standing in front of half the school helped get the team there, she would do it.

She would probably be good at it too.

Roxie liked performing once she got comfortable. She knew how to hold an audience, and she always knew when people were watching her even when she acted like she could not care less.

Now, Zac was imagining an entire school watching her.

With Noah somewhere nearby.

Great.

He looked toward Roxie’s table and found her sitting between Karen and Angela again.

Dylan followed his attention before looking back at him. "You good?"

"Yeah."

Dylan glanced toward Roxie once more. "That convincing, huh?"

"Shut up."

Dylan smiled slightly and went back to his food without adding anything else.

Zac noticed that.

Things between them had been less awkward since Dylan admitted how he felt, although there were still moments when Zac caught him looking a little longer than before or when both of them seemed to remember the conversation at exactly the same time.

Dylan had never pushed, though. He had never treated Zac breaking up with Roxie like an opening or tried using it to get closer to him. He had simply given Zac space and let things return to normal at whatever pace they were going to.

Zac appreciated it.

He saw Roxie stood up from their table. Where is she going? God, he’s not making this easy for both of them.

Still, his fucked up mind decided for him.

"I’m going to my locker."

Mason grinned immediately. "Going to check on her again?"

Zac answered with his middle finger and walked away before Mason could say anything else.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he headed down the hall because he did not even know anymore whether breaking up with Roxie had been the right thing. At the time, it had felt necessary.

Everything between them had gotten fucked up enough that staying together seemed like it would only make them worse.

Now every time Zac saw her, it got harder to remember why being apart was supposed to be better.

He slowed when he reached the lockers.

Roxie was there alone, pulling a book from hers.

Zac looked at her longer than he meant to. She still had the tiredness around her eyes from that morning, but she looked fucking beautiful anyway.

He shook his head at himself and opened his own locker, putting the metal door between them before he did something stupid like stare until she caught him again.

Zac reached for his notebook and paused when the edge of a photograph showed underneath it.

Their picture.

The one Roxie had given him.

He pulled it out and looked at her smiling beside him, and the ache that had been sitting in his chest all day got worse.

Goddammit, he missed her.

She was right there, only a few lockers away, and somehow he could not even walk over and talk to her anymore.

"Can you just leave me alone?"

Roxie’s voice carried through the nearly empty hallway.

Zac shoved the photograph back into his locker and closed the door.

Mike was standing too close to Roxie, crowding her near the lockers while she glared up at him. Roxie shifted to the side like she was trying to get around him, and Mike moved with her.

Before Zac could think about whether this was supposed to be none of his business too, his body was already moving.