Chapter 95: Heart Full Of Love
SOPHIA
My heart thrums in my chest.
I’m breathless.
This anxiety that crawls through my body feels like fear. But it’s excitement.
No. More like both, I suppose.
His dark eyes offer midnight promises, and I’m giddy, like I’m floating in a bubble filled with sunshine and roses and him...
Is this love? Want? Need?
It’s everything.
Everything.
His fingers fan under my chin. His thumb on the hinge of my jaw. Holding my face. Holding me.
Like a single screw that keeps me together, but if it moves...
If he lets go...
I will fall apart
from the want that beats like a pulse in the vein of my neck. In the veins that connect to my heart and beat
for him
for him.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
He leans forward.
Closer.
Closer.
My heart pounds faster. And it’s loud. So loud I can hear it. My ears are full of the drumming beat of my heart.
His lips brush mine.
Oh.
Oh.
What do I do?
What do I do?
Now, a soft pressure. His mouth moving.
His lips are soft. Warm.
My breath stalls.
His hand slips from my face. To my neck. Fingers curl lightly around my throat.
He pulls me close.
Closer.
His mouth is more insistent. He presses hard.
Harder.
He pulls back.
His eyes are nearly black, black with the kind of longing that you can only feel in the darkest part of night, where there is no moon, no stars, no sky.
His hand flexes against my throat. I feel that slight pressure, and an electricity I have never felt zaps me from his squeezing fingers
down, down, down
to the very center of my womanhood.
A lightning strike inside me, sharp and wonderful and scary.
"Breathe," he says against my mouth. "Breathe through your nose. And kiss me, Sophia."
I press against his lips, cover the millimeter gap between us.
I’m hesitant.
It’s a wisp of movement.
Unsure.
He grips my neck and pulls me forward, just a little fierce. Fierce enough that a moan leaves my mouth.
He exhales harshly. His breath tastes like mint. And it’s sweet, too. Candied fruit. And mint.
"Open your mouth," he says. His voice shakes. Shakes like the wind that rattles through winter trees into window cracks to skitter, skitter, skitter across my skin.
He peels off the robe. Pushes the inner dress off my shoulders.
"Open your mouth," he says again.
I obey.
His tongue sweeps inside my mouth.
Wet.
Slick.
Lips sliding against each other
and his tongue is in my mouth
and I have no choice, none at all
because I’m falling
falling
into this feeling
into this love
and my tongue meets his
another lightning strike right into my core.
We are kissing, and pressing against each other.
My fingers at the nape of his neck, sliding into his soft hair,
digging into his scalp.
And now his hands are on my shoulders and he lifts his mouth,
his lips swollen, his eyes dark, so dark, and he kisses my neck.
That sound comes out again.
That moan.
I have no control over it. No control over myself.
He kisses my neck and I’m so overwhelmed by the sensations that I’m crying.
He moves back.
We’re both breathing heavy.
He’s looking at me, swallowing hard
and I see his Adam’s apple bob.
With my forefinger, I rub down the middle of his throat, feel that bump and
he swallows again.
Why do I like this? Why does it fascinate me?
I don’t know.
"Stand up, Sophia."
"Can’t," I managed to say, but it’s like that single word can barely crawl out of my throat. I’ve been robbed of speech.
I’m dazed, and I don’t think my legs are strong enough to hold me upright. Nathan stands and rips off his robe, shucks off his shoes, socks, pants, shirt...
and ohmygodheisnaked
and he is beautiful. Carved muscle. Perfect. Broad chest and an abdomen with muscles I can count.
Eight.
My gaze stops at the divots next to his hips. I feel my face go hot because I know his manhood is there, and I’m afraid to look.
Nathan kneels before me, and gently, slowly, removes my clothing.
The wedding robe.
The inner dress.
And when he tries to untie the belly band, I grab his hands.
"I know you’re scared," he says. "But this is part of love, Sophia. Intimacy is physical, but it means nothing without the emotional. I love you. More than anything. I will always love you. Always protect you. Always cherish you." He pulls the strings and the belly band loosens, but I hold it against my chest.
The tears keep falling.
I can’t breathe.
"You can be vulnerable with me. You can show me everything. I will worship every inch of you, butterfly. I will brand you with my touch, I will show you my love. So, please trust me. Trust me with your body."
I let go, and the silk top falls to the floor, and I’m naked except for my underwear.
Nathan crawls on to the bed and pulls me into his arms, and we lay there together.
He feels warm.
Even though his body feels like marble.
I can’t stop looking at him, his chest, his stomach ... and I skip that middle part, and look at his legs.
"You can touch me," he says.
I run my fingers across his pectorals. He sucks in a breath, and another as my fingers slid down to his belly, to those tight muscles, and he closes his eyes.
Groans as I dare to go further, past the hips.
I hesitate.
"It’s okay," he says. "Can I touch you?"
I want his hands on my flesh, but I’m so nervous.
To hell with it.
"Yes," I say. "You can touch whatever you want. As much as you want."
He flattens his hand on my stomach, slides his palm over my hip. Then he moves upward until his fingers graze the underside of my breast.
My breath hitches.
Goosebumps erupt over my skin. And my nipples harden.
My face is so hot, I know it must be as red as a tomato.
But he doesn’t stop.
His hand covers my breast and then he leans over...