Chapter 94: The Pink-haired Menace
[It has happened again. Seems you are really the closest descendant of Cupid.] The system suddenly said, bringing a bit of clarity to Silas’s gaze, but it still appeared... infatuated, though the clarity was enough to let Silas reason.
’What do you mean? I thought that fact was already established,’ Silas asked in confusion, raising an eyebrow.
[Well, that is true, but it wasn’t 100% certain, because you are different from the original Cupid, despite having his hair color, beauty, and some other stuff. You would’ve been forced to use the bow and arrow as part of the inheritance, that is the honest truth. But with what you’ve shown here, I doubt that is even necessary. You are clearly interested... no... in love with bows.]
’I remember always preferring the bow to other weapons... Wait, why did you stop me from buying a bow from the shop?’
[Those bows and the ones here are all crap. You will inherit Cupid’s own bow sets, which are the peak of the art of archery.]
’Does that mean I can’t use any of these? In the meantime?’
[You can use them, but compared to these, it’s best if you purchase one from the system for me to sca... never mind.]
Silas’s eyes narrowed at the system’s slip-up.
’What exactly do you use the CP for?’
[Nothing. It’s just a formality for now.]
’For now... Meaning they would be something important in the future.’
[Exactly! Quick of you to catch on.]
’Then do you have another suggestion of a weapon to use?’
[For what exactly? Don’t you have daggers and gauntlets?]
’The daggers are short, and I’m not a fan of gauntlets. No matter how cool they look, I don’t really like them. And I know I can’t be using the bow and arrow always. If it’s a melee combat, a bow would be useless.’
[Very smart of you. Where did all this come from all of a sudden?]
’Outta my ass!’
[Let’s not get angry now. Geez!]
’Then give some other Cupid-based weapon or something.’
[Hmm... Lemme see...]
’...’
[Might take some time to filter through everything. You can look around to see if anything catches your attention.]
’Sure...’
Silas nodded inwardly and began strolling through the armory once more. Rows upon rows of weapons passed before him. A pair of crescent blades, twin axes, a massive greatsword that looked capable of splitting a truck in half, and a war hammer that probably weighed more than Christian.
"Nope."
He moved on to a spear.
"Too long."
A whip. "Too kinky."
A chain sickle.
"One mistake and I’m amputating myself."
The system hummed in agreement.
[A surprisingly mature assessment.]
’I occasionally have intelligent thoughts.’
[Once every leap year.]
’I’m deleting you someday.’
[You literally can’t.]
Silas sighed.
Cling!
A sharp metallic sound echoed beside him, causing him to turn his head. Alpha stood several weapon racks away. The white-blond boy was holding a silver rapier with both hands. Well, trying to. The weapon wasn’t particularly heavy, but the one-hundred-kilogram weights hanging from each of Alpha’s wrists made the elegant stance look awkwardly adorable. He thrust.
"Hya!"
The rapier pierced the air; he pulled it back, turned, almost lost his balance, windmilled both arms, and recovered somehow.
"..."
Silas silently watched, wondering just who had forced such a thing upon the guy. Alpha tried another thrust. This time, he accompanied it with a determined expression.
"Hup!"
The rapier slid perfectly forward.
"..."
Then he proudly nodded to himself. "I think... that looked cool."
"It did," Silas couldn’t help but comment.
"EEEEH?!"
Alpha nearly launched the rapier across the room. He spun around so quickly his braid whipped across his own face.
"S-Silas?!"
"Yo."
"W-When did you get there?!"
"I’ve been standing here for like... thirty seconds."
Alpha’s ears immediately turned red.
"You watched all of that?!"
"Every single second."
"..."
"..."
"Please erase it from your memory."
Silas folded his arms.
"I’ll consider selling the memory."
"W-What?!"
"Maybe a soda."
"I don’t even have money!"
"A bun?"
"I can’t afford one!"
"A packet of chips?"
"They’re twenty-eight dollars!"
Silas placed a hand on Alpha’s shoulder, his face becoming unusually serious.
"My condolences."
"The economy is cruel," Alpha said, looking equally serious.
"It truly is."
The two nodded together like old war veterans discussing the horrors of inflation. Nearby students stared at them.
"What are they talking about?"
"I don’t know, but somehow I feel poor."
Peter checked his wallet. "...I am poor."
"We’re all poor," Victor said, nodding solemnly, but that earned him stares of death. Victor and Poor were never in the same book. Never!
Christian burst into tears. "I spent all my allowance on monster jerky!"
No one comforted him. It was his own fault.
***
Silas picked up another rapier from the rack and twirled it once. He then handed it to Alpha.
"Again."
"Huh?"
"You look too stiff."
Alpha blinked. "I’ve... never used one before."
"I can tell."
"Was it that obvious?"
"You held it like you were threatening the rapier instead of the other guy."
Alpha puffed his cheeks. "That’s rude."
"It’s accurate."
"Hmph."
Alpha adjusted his grip again, while Silas walked around him like an old martial arts master.
"No. Relax your shoulder."
Alpha did.
"Loosen your wrist."
He did again.
"Stand straighter."
Alpha obeyed.
Silas nodded. "There. Now stab me."
"W-WHAT?!"
Several nearby students froze, and even Sir Wesley looked over, but when he noticed what was going on, he raised his eyebrow in interest, planning to watch what was going on.
"I-I can’t stab you!"
"Why not?"
"I’ll hurt you!"
Silas stared at him. "Son, I survived getting punched by an Orc King. I think you’ll live."
"I’M THE ONE STABBING!"
"Exactly."
Alpha’s face practically exploded red. "N-NO!"
Silas clicked his tongue.
"Coward."
"I’m not a coward!"
"Prove it."
"I-I..."
"You won’t."
"I WILL!"
Alpha immediately lunged. The rapier shot forward, but Silas casually stepped half an inch sideways, and the blade missed. He flicked Alpha’s wrist with one finger, and the rapier spun completely out of Alpha’s hand and flipped through the air. Silas caught it without looking.
Alpha stared, his jaw slowly dropping.
"T-That’s cheating..."
"Skill issue," Silas shrugged.
"I’ve been using one for three seconds!"
"Still a skill issue."
"I hate you."
"You’ll survive."
"I hope you trip over something today."
"I already have."
"When?"
"You scared me when I tried saying hi the other day," Silas pointed at him.
Alpha looked away. "...Fair."
Silas laughed. For some reason, talking to Alpha was ridiculously easy. The boy was expressive enough that teasing him felt almost instinctive. The system quietly observed.
[Compatibility analysis complete.]
’And?’
[You have successfully acquired a gremlin.]
’That’s not an analysis.’
[Correction. You have acquired a financially challenged gremlin with excellent potential.]
’Much better.’
Just then, Alpha suddenly gasped.
"Oh!"
"What?"
"I forgot why I came over here!"
"You came over here?"
"..."
"..."
Alpha blinked.
"...I don’t remember."
Silas stared at him for a full three seconds before laughing out loud.
"You’re hopeless."
"I know..." Alpha admitted with an embarrassed smile, scratching the back of his head. "My brain kind of... wanders."
"I noticed."