Chapter 116: Are You Even My Mother?!
~ ROSELLE ~
I’m torn about whether I should actually leave Blackshadow just because Ravenna ordered me to, but before I make any decision, there’s one person I need to find.
Irina.
I need her to stand in front of me, look me straight in the eyes, and explain what in the Moon Goddess’s name that betrayal was. I trusted her. I believed every fucking word that came out of her mouth because I thought she was my mother, and for the first time in my life, I thought I’d finally found the woman I’d spent years believing was dead.
Instead, she might have fucking used me.
My legs carry me quickly toward the medical wing, anger and guilt battling violently inside my chest. Everywhere I look, Blackshadow seems to be drowning in grief. Pack members stand outside their homes with devastated expressions, families cling tightly to one another, and the usual liveliness around the pack has completely disappeared.
All of this happened in one fucking morning.
The moment I enter the medical wing, I’m met with complete chaos. Nurses and doctors rush through the hallways carrying supplies while injured warriors are wheeled from one room to another. Voices overlap around me as orders are shouted, doors slam shut, and the sharp scent of antiseptic mixes with something metallic that makes my stomach churn.
I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, and right now, I can’t afford to stop and ask.
I march straight toward the office where Irina usually stays and shove the door open without bothering to knock, already preparing myself for whatever explanation she thinks could possibly justify what she’s done.
"Irina!"
Nothing. I stop in the doorway, breathing heavily as my eyes sweep across the room.
It’s empty.
There are books scattered across the desk, papers left beside medical equipment I don’t understand, and her chair is pushed slightly away from the table as though she’d gotten up and simply walked away.
But there’s no Irina. Of fucking course.
I storm farther into the office and look around, hoping she’ll somehow appear from another corner of the room, but there’s no sign of her anywhere.
"Fucking two-faced bitch," I mutter through clenched teeth.
She begged me to trust her. She called me her daughter. She convinced me to betray Ronan to save that Lycan’s life.
And now that everything has gone to hell, she’s nowhere to fucking be found.
I march farther into the office, running both hands through my hair as I mentally curse myself for ever trusting her. I should’ve known better than to let my guard down so easily, especially after everything I’ve been through, but the moment Irina told me she was my mother, some stupid part of me had desperately wanted to believe her.
A frustrated scream claws its way up my throat as I grab the flower vase sitting on the desk and hurl it at the floor. It shatters instantly, scattering pieces of glass across the room with a sharp, satisfying crack, but even that does absolutely nothing to ease the anger burning through my chest.
I stand there staring at the broken pieces, my hands trembling at my sides as I inhale deeply and slowly exhale. I repeat it again, desperately trying to force my breathing back to normal before I completely fucking lose it.
"Looking for me?"
That familiar voice cuts straight through the haze clouding my head.
My entire body stiffens.
I slowly turn around, and there she is.
Irina stands in the doorway, watching me with those familiar blue eyes that only few days ago had made me feel like I’d finally found something I’d been missing my entire life. Now, looking at them only makes rage burn hotter beneath my skin.
My jaw clenches as I turn fully toward her.
"You fucking bet I am," I gnash through my teeth. "You have a lot of explaining to do."
"About what?" Irina asks, her expression remaining frustratingly calm as she steps farther into the office.
"Don’t fucking bullshit me." My voice rises as I march toward her, anger overpowering every attempt to keep myself composed. "Did you or did you not lie to me about releasing that Lycan so you could launch an attack on Blackshadow and conspire with Quirin?"
Her brows immediately pull together. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I’m talking about!" I snap, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You told me he wasn’t dangerous. You told me he came here to protect me. You practically begged me to steal Ronan’s key and help him escape because you knew Ronan was going to execute him."
I swallow hard as guilt twists painfully through my chest. "So I fucking trusted you, Irina. I betrayed Ronan because I believed you, and less than a day after I let that Lycan out, an entire army of them attacks Blackshadow alongside Quirin’s pack and a fucking witch."
Her eyes widen slightly, but I don’t give her the chance to interrupt me.
"Nikolai is dead because of that attack," I continue, my voice cracking despite the rage burning through me. "Ronan unleashed whatever curse he’s spent years trying to suppress, half the pack is fucking terrified, and Ravenna just ordered me to leave Blackshadow because she thinks I destroyed her son."
My chest rises and falls rapidly as I stare at her, desperately fighting the tears burning behind my eyes. "So look me in the fucking eyes and tell me the truth. Was that your plan from the beginning? Did you use me because you knew I was stupid enough to believe the woman claiming to be my mother?"
"Roselle—"
"No." I shake my head violently. "You don’t get to Roselle me right now. Answer the fucking question."
I step closer until barely any distance remains between us, refusing to look away from her.
"Did you use me to release that Lycan so your people could attack this pack?"
"Our people," she corrects calmly.
Fucking hell.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this agitated in my entire life. My hands curl into fists at my sides as I stare at her in disbelief, wondering if she seriously thinks this is the right fucking time to correct me.
Is she trying to gaslight me?
"Are you fucking serious right now?" I snap. "That’s what you took from everything I just said? Our people?"
"You are a Lycan, Roselle, whether you accept it or not."
"And that gives you the right to fucking use me?" I shoot back. "People are dead, Irina. Blackshadow is mourning, Ronan is out there losing himself to some fucking curse, and you’re standing here correcting my choice of words?"
My chest heaves as I take another step toward her, refusing to let her redirect the conversation.
"Stop trying to make this about what I am and answer my fucking question." I hold her gaze, anger burning through every word. "Did you know they were going to attack Blackshadow after I released him, or not?"
There it is. The long, unbearable silence I’ve been waiting for, accompanied by the look in her eyes that tells me everything her mouth refuses to say.
She knew.
My head begins to pound as something painful tightens around my chest, making every breath feel heavier than the last. I stare at her, desperately waiting for her to deny it, to tell me I’m misunderstanding everything, but she doesn’t.
A bitter laugh escapes my lips as I shake my head. "Of course you knew."
"Roselle, let me explain—"
"Are you even my fucking mother?" I cut her off, my voice cracking as the question tears out of me. "Or did you just happen to have the same red hair as me and decide it would be convenient to twist some pathetic story together because you knew I’d be desperate enough to believe it?"
Her expression changes immediately. "Don’t question that."
"Why the fuck shouldn’t I?" I demand. "You’ve already lied to me about one thing. How am I supposed to know where your lies end and the truth begins?"
She takes a step toward me, but I immediately step backward, putting more distance between us.
"Don’t fucking touch me."
She stops. My fingers tremble as I run them through my hair, anger quickly giving way to something far more painful.
I should’ve done the DNA test. The thought crashes into me with enough force to make my stomach twist.
I had her hair. I fucking had it in my hand, and instead of going through with the test, I let myself believe her because some pathetic part of me wanted so badly to have my mother back.
Fuck me. I should’ve known better.