I Wish I Wore a Condom Because the Hooker Ended Up Being My Mom

Chapter 12: Mario Kart World



I knock on the door of Sabrina's dorm, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as I wait. Getting into the freshman building was surprisingly easy. I just followed some girl with blue hair who held the door open without even looking at me. Campus security at its finest.

The door swings open. Sabrina stands there with her black sweatshirt unzipped so low it's basically decorative at this point. The hot pink bra underneath is clearly struggling against the laws of physics, her breasts practically spilling over the top like they're making a break for freedom. The contrast of the bright fabric against her dark skin is striking in a way that makes my mouth go dry.

"Gabe! Hey, come in," she says, her voice pitched slightly higher than normal. There's something off about her demeanor, a weird theatricality to her movements as she steps aside to let me in.

I step into what's easily the nicest dorm I've ever seen. It's a suite with a small common area, kitchenette, and what looks like three-bedroom doors. The walls are decorated with fairy lights and posters of bands I vaguely recognize, and there's an actual couch instead of the standard-issue furniture I'd expected.

Two girls are sitting on said couch, and they both look up when I enter. One has long blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail, wearing a UMaine sweatshirt that's at least two sizes too big. The other has a short pixie cut dyed purple, multiple ear piercings, and a sleeve of tattoos disappearing under her tank top. They're both staring at me with expressions I can't quite read, somewhere between skeptical and concerned.

Sabrina spins around dramatically, gesturing toward me with both arms like she's presenting a game show prize.

"See?" she announces triumphantly, her chin tilted up with unmistakable arrogance. "I told you my boyfriend was real!"

I freeze for half a second as the pieces click together in my head. Of course. This makes so much sense now, the weird laxative excuse, her nervousness, why her roommates "really wanted to meet me." She's been telling them she has a boyfriend, and they didn't believe her. My heart squeezes with unexpected sympathy. Having social anxiety is rough enough without roommates thinking you're making up relationships.

"Hey, yeah, I'm Gabe," I say, slipping an arm around Sabrina's waist and pulling her against my side. "Sabrina's boyfriend."

She squeaks, actually squeaks, as I tug her close, her body going rigid before melting against mine. The blush spreading across her cheeks is so intense I can practically feel the heat radiating off her skin.

The blonde girl exchanges a quick glance with the purple-haired one before her face softens into a gentle smile.

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