Chapter 448 - 443: A New Beginning
After listening to Feng Ling’s story, Gu’er had to admit that her previous life had been a tragedy.
After her rebirth, Feng Ling resolved to leave home with Grandpa Guan. While this changed her fate, she had only lived to nineteen in her previous life. She had little worldly experience, had never traveled, and possessed no skills to make a living. She knew nothing about the future—she was even worse off than Gu’er in that regard. So, despite being reborn, she could only follow Grandpa Guan and do manual labor to scrape by. She had no way to use her foreknowledge to make money.
’But Feng Ling is actually very brave,’ Gu’er thought. ’If I were her—if I had married Zhang Da, died in childbirth with Zhang Juan, and then been reborn—I don’t know if I would have had the courage to leave the Zhou family and strike out on my own.’
’Feng Ling’s endurance comes from the suffocating frustration of her past life. It forced her to be patient because she had no other choice; she simply had to bear it. She isn’t a calculating person. Her past life was just so bitter that it forged her willpower. My initial judgment of her was wrong.’
’Actually, Feng Ling is a good person. When Grandpa Guan first brought her to the Sun Family, I offered her a great job, but she never thought of depending on us. Instead, she chose to rely on herself to get by.’
’If she were the type to chase after wealth and status, she would have just accepted Li Zhi. In many people’s eyes, Li Zhi is a prime catch. But she didn’t. For one, the trauma of her past life left a deep scar; she’s afraid of men. For another, she probably felt she wasn’t good enough for him. So, even though she had some feelings for Li Zhi, she retreated, terrified of suffering the same fate again.’
Now, Gu’er completely understood Feng Ling’s actions.
Feng Ling looked at Gu’er, her own mind filled with questions. How did Gu’er know she’d had such a "dream"? How did she know that Zhang Ju’s sister-in-law was named Caihua? It was all a mystery to her. But she didn’t ask. As much as she wanted to know, she felt that while she owed Gu’er an explanation, Gu’er owed her nothing in return. Gu’er had the right to keep her secrets.
"By the way, Feng Ling, let me ask you one more thing. When you left with Grandpa Guan, was it because he helped you in your dream and you genuinely wanted to care for him? Or was it because he mentioned a family heirloom in that dream?"
The thought had suddenly occurred to Gu’er, and she voiced it.
A flash of anger crossed Feng Ling’s eyes before vanishing. "I never asked Grandpa about an heirloom," she said. "Frankly, I don’t think it even exists. If it did, he would have used it to avoid being kicked out back then. I think he probably just said that to fool them at the time."
Feng Ling’s message was clear: she treated Grandpa Guan well because she was genuinely grateful and wanted to care for him. He was the only person who had been kind to her in that dream.
Gu’er nodded. Judging by Feng Ling’s expression, she believed she was being sincere. ’That’s good,’ she thought.
"I believe you. But Feng Ling, a dream is just a dream. It’s over when you wake up. You can’t stay lost in it forever—that will only hurt you. You have to look forward and make a fresh start."
Gu’er offered this advice after a moment of thought.
"I know. I’ve thought it through these past few days. Since reality is different from the dream, it means those things won’t happen again. I shouldn’t dwell on it or stay trapped in that past. And I shouldn’t live my life with the same mindset from the dream, making the same demands, because people are different. If I keep acting like I did before, I’ll just ruin my own life. Once I’ve recovered, I’m going to work hard, take good care of Grandpa, and become someone who can live openly and with dignity."
Feng Ling nodded. She had done a lot of thinking over the past few days.
Gu’er looked at Feng Ling. At that moment, it seemed there was something new about her, something different. And for Feng Ling, this change was a good thing.
"So you plan to leave once you’ve recovered?"
Gu’er was no longer worried about Feng Ling.
"Yes. If it were just me, I’d want to move away and try to make a life for myself elsewhere. But I have Grandpa, and I don’t want him to be rootless in his old age. I already found a house a few days ago, and I’ll move in once I’m discharged. I was planning to look for a new job, but Xinghua came to visit. She said that even if my body can’t move much, my hands can. She asked me to knit sweaters in my spare time and said she’d pay me for it. Xinghua is such a kind girl. I know she only offered because she was worried that I wouldn’t be able to work after leaving the hospital, and that Grandpa and I would have no money for food."
"It’s not just Xinghua. The two grandmas, the uncle and auntie, Brother Jia Ming, Li Zhi, Dingzi, Marina, and you... you’re all good people. I just wasn’t fortunate enough. Back then... the reason I didn’t want to be around you all was, for one, my low self-esteem. I felt like I wasn’t one of you. And for another, I was scared of big groups of people. I thought more people just meant more trouble, and I was afraid someone might have ill intentions. So I didn’t dare get close to anyone. I’m the one who missed out."
Tears streamed down Feng Ling’s face. It was clear her regret was genuine.
"Don’t cry. Focus on getting better. Like you said, you still need to take good care of your grandpa. Once you’ve worked through this, you can come over and visit anytime. We don’t blame you anymore. As for you and Li Zhi, I think it’s for the best that you left the Li Family. You’re still young. You’ll have other opportunities."
Gu’er helped wipe away Feng Ling’s tears. ’It’s true,’ she thought. ’I don’t blame her anymore. In fact, I’m grateful to her for risking her life to save me back then.’
Feng Ling nodded again and again. Perhaps she wasn’t in the right mindset to face them all just yet, but she believed that one day, she would be.
They exchanged a few more words, and Gu’er urged Feng Ling to get some rest, explaining that she needed to go prepare for her own discharge.
"Sister Gu’er."
Just as Gu’er was about to leave the room, Feng Ling suddenly called out to stop her.
Gu’er noticed the change in address—"Sister Gu’er" instead of "sister-in-law." She turned to look back at Feng Ling.
"I... I... when I’m better, and if there’s a chance... c-can I come see Jiji?"
It took all of Feng Ling’s courage to ask, her eyes filled with hope.
"Of course."
Gu’er smiled and nodded. ’Losing her child in her past life must be a source of deep pain for her,’ she thought. Gu’er was certain that Feng Ling would never harm a child; besides, she was a kind person at heart.
Gu’er and Sun Jiaming left. At the hospital entrance, Gu’er, bundled up warmly, glanced back. When she had arrived, she had been terrified—afraid something would happen to the baby, to herself, or to Feng Ling. Thankfully, everyone was all right now. A smile touched Gu’er’s lips. ’From now on, things will be even better.’
When they arrived at the Sun Family’s home, they found not only the rest of the Sun family, but also Chen Fengjiao, Grandma Dingzi, and Marina waiting for them.
They first brought the baby over to the two grandmothers, who fussed over him endlessly. "Oh, my sweet grandson!" they cooed, holding him tight and refusing to let go.
Gu’er chatted with them for a moment before Sun Jiaming helped her back to their room. She was still weak from childbirth and needed to lie down.
As for the baby, Gu’er just shook her head with a smile. ’Even when the two grandmothers run out of energy,’ she thought, ’my mother-in-law, Cao Qiu, and my own mom, Chen Fengjiao, will just fight over who gets to hold him next. It won’t be my turn until it’s time for a feeding.’