Chapter 446 - 441: Had a Dream
Seeing the look on Feng Ling’s face, Gu’er knew she hadn’t guessed wrong.
"Or perhaps I should put it this way: you had a dream. In this dream, you went through some things—some terrible things that you can’t forget, that you can’t let go of."
Gu’er continued, her tone shifting.
Hearing Gu’er’s words, a look of terror flashed across Feng Ling’s face. She pointed at Gu’er and stammered, "You... you... why would you say that?"
Feng Ling’s throat felt dry, and her heart pounded as if it would leap out of her chest. She felt as if her greatest secret had been exposed, leaving her with nowhere to hide. The fear was indescribable.
Gu’er watched her quietly, saying nothing. She was waiting for Feng Ling to speak.
’Actually, Gu’er wasn’t nearly as calm as she appeared. At first, she hadn’t considered it. Then, Feng Ling’s behavior made her suspicious, but she dismissed the idea. It just seemed too impossible. What were the chances? How could there be so many people who were reborn? Besides, if Feng Ling had truly been reborn, she wouldn’t have ended up in her current state. And yet, some of Feng Ling’s attitudes and actions were otherwise inexplicable.’
’Gu’er mulled it over and over. She felt Feng Ling must have experienced something terrible, but her inquiries into Feng Ling’s past had turned up nothing. That left only one possibility: it must have happened in her previous life.’
’After all, if I could be reborn, why couldn’t someone else? So she had made the bold guess that Feng Ling had been reborn, too. And now, the expression on Feng Ling’s face told her she was right.’
"You’re not wrong. I did have a... dream."
It took a long while for Feng Ling to calm down. She spoke softly, using the word "dream" to describe it, signaling that she accepted Gu’er’s framing of the situation.
"I’d like to hear about your dream."
Gu’er gazed at Feng Ling. ’It seems Feng Ling has a sad story from her past. No, it must be from her past life.’
Feng Ling looked at Gu’er, her gaze intense. She didn’t know how much it would hurt to rip open her old wounds, but she owed Gu’er an explanation.
"I had a dream, a very real dream. In it, Grandpa was kicked out of the house by my eldest uncle and the others, and I was left behind in the Guan Family home. At first, my eldest uncle, his wife, and my second uncle just cursed at me and would occasionally hit me. But after a few months, they started to see me as a nuisance. They said feeding me was a waste of food and plotted to sell me to get some money or goods for their own children’s households. They wanted to sell me to Wu Laoer from our village. That Wu Laoer was over forty and had been a bachelor for most of his life. One of his eyes had been mangled by something in the mountains, and he looked terrifying. I was so scared. I begged them not to marry me to Wu Laoer. I told them I would work myself to the bone, that I could eat just one meal a day, as long as they didn’t marry me to him. But they wouldn’t listen to me at all."
As Feng Ling recounted the past, her voice was still laced with panic, showing just how terrifying those events had been for her.
"How old were you then?"
Gu’er could sympathize with Feng Ling’s feelings. When Zhou Mazi had tried to sell her to Zhang Da, she had been scared to death, too.
"Sixteen. I was sixteen that year."
Feng Ling answered Gu’er, then continued, "Just when I thought I was going to be married off to Wu Laoer, Grandpa came back. My uncles wouldn’t let him in the door at first, but when he took out some money, they let him in. Grandpa refused to let them marry me to Wu Laoer. He said that as long as he was alive, they couldn’t even think about selling his granddaughter. My uncles wanted the money Grandpa had, so they agreed not to sell me to Wu Laoer."
Feng Ling’s words made Gu’er nod slightly. ’No wonder Feng Ling is so devoted to Grandpa Guan. For one, she doesn’t want to repeat the fate she suffered with the Guan Family in her past life. For another, Grandpa Guan helped her in that life, so of course she’d want to be devoted to him in this one.’
"My grandpa told my uncles to treat me better and to find a good husband for me. They weren’t willing, so Grandpa told them the Guan Family had an heirloom. He said if they could arrange a good marriage for me, he would give them the heirloom, since it was meant to be passed down to the Guan descendants anyway. As soon as they heard that, their eyes turned red with greed. They promised my grandpa they would find a good family for me to marry into. So, Grandpa stayed with us. He told me not to be afraid, that he would find a good match for me and make sure I wouldn’t suffer."
As she spoke, tears fell from Feng Ling’s eyes.
"What happened then?"
Gu’er pressed on. ’Something bad must have happened after that.’
"But sadly, Grandpa didn’t live to see me get married. About half a year after he returned, I got up one night to use the outhouse and heard a commotion. I went to look and saw my eldest and second uncles in Grandpa’s room. They were demanding to know where the heirloom was. Grandpa wouldn’t tell them. He said they had to marry me off first and take care of him in his old age, and he would tell them where it was on his deathbed. But they refused and started arguing with him. Both my eldest and second uncle wanted the heirloom, and things got physical. They were shoving each other, and... and one of them pushed Grandpa. He cried out, and by the time I got inside, his head was covered in blood. He was already dead."
Gu’er saw that Feng Ling’s eyes were bloodshot. ’Clearly, Grandpa Guan’s death was a huge blow to her. In a family like that, he was the only one who was good to her, her only support. With him dead, one could only imagine what Feng Ling’s fate would be.’
’I just never expected Grandpa Guan died like that in her past life. No wonder Feng Ling was so insistent on leaving with him. Not only did she not want to stay with the Guan Family, but she was probably afraid Grandpa Guan would die if he went back alone. But in this life, Grandpa Guan is still alive and didn’t go back. It seems their fates have already changed.’
"After Grandpa died, they still couldn’t find the heirloom. They were bitter about it, so they took it out on me. They called me a jinx, saying I’d brought misfortune that killed my parents, my grandmother, and now my grandfather. They found another family and married me off. It wasn’t Wu Laoer this time; another family offered more money than he did. Just like that, they married me off to someone in a neighboring village. I was seventeen that year."
Feng Ling’s voice grew even hoarser as she spoke. Gu’er couldn’t help but sigh. ’Feng Ling is just like me, fated to suffer.’
"He was a few years older than me. In his family, there was a sister-in-law and a niece. His older brother had passed away, so his sister-in-law lived with him. At first, he was decent to me. But he loved drinking with his friends, and whenever they drank, they’d say all sorts of vulgar things. A few times, he invited them over to drink at our house. One of them... he actually tried to... I pushed him away and ran. When my husband found out, not only did he not stand up for me, he actually beat me. He said I was a natural-born seductress, trying to tempt his friends. He called me shameless and ordered me to stay in my room and never go out."
Hearing this, Gu’er understood everything. She understood why Feng Ling had been so desperate to leave with Grandpa Guan, why she was unwilling to accept Li Zhi, and why she had made those demands of him. It was all because of the shadows from her past life.
"From then on, I stayed in my room and never went out. But he was always out drinking with people. When he got drunk, he would curse at me and beat me. I was terrified, but there was nothing I could do except endure it. I just prayed that he would stop drinking, stop hanging around with those people. Then maybe I would get beaten less. I lived like that until I turned eighteen... and got pregnant."
As she spoke, Feng Ling clutched the blanket tightly, a look of anguish on her face. It was clearly an exceptionally painful memory.
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