For Better, For Worse: The Serpent's Contract Wife

"Does it ever end?" I asked in a quivering voice as the tears slid down my face without control. "Just when you convince yourself that you could be happy, something just comes along to rip the wounds wide open."

Catherine’s eyebrows furrowed as she gave me a sad smile. She didn’t say a word, but somehow I could feel how much she understood me.

"No matter how much I try to run from it, the past always catches up to me. It’s not fair. I don’t wanna be consumed in pain anymore; I know what it did to me. I was so lost for years, so irrational, so angry. I don’t wanna be those things anymore. I just wanna be happy."

I sobbed, using the back of my hand to wipe the tears.

"You can’t run from the past, Anastasia. We can’t erase the pain of the past either. I tried to once. I tried to pretend that the past never existed so that I could give my daughter a better life. I told myself nothing else mattered except her, and I didn’t care if I wasn’t happy."

"D-Did it work?"

She chuckled. "If it did work, then I wouldn’t be here..." She raised her hand to show me her wedding ring.

It’s so beautiful; it wasn’t loud but simple, yet held the statement of the man behind the ring.

Even though I didn’t know who he was, I just had that feeling.

"It’s beautiful."

"Yes," she agreed, stroking against the diamond like something she had done many times subconsciously.

"My past found a way back to me. It was scary. So fucking scary..." Her eyes grew wistful with memories. "But they came back, and I realized it had been with me the whole time and ultimately became my future and Esme’s too."

"Your husband?"

She nodded. "To be honest, he was never a past to me. He was always with me no matter how much I tried to forget. I was so lost without him, and every day I regret the choices I made to be apart from him. If I could turn back time, I would have made different choices."

My face softened at her words. She spoke so remorsefully it weighed on me. I have never once looked back at the decisions I have made, and hearing her say this, I couldn’t help thinking back to when I was so close to betraying Zade.

It was the first thing that crossed my mind.

"I-I want to make the right choices," I said. "Why is it so hard? Every choice I make just seems so... useless. I don’t know if I’m going forward or backwards. I’m so fucking scared the whole time. A silly girl who can’t face anything."

I buried my face in my hands before dragging them back through my hair, pushing the dark strands away from my face.

"Oh Anastasia..." Catherine said softly. "We’re human. We make mistakes. We do tons of things that affect us and everyone in our life."

I nodded, wiping more of the tears sliding down my face.

"But that doesn’t mean we should just let it dictate our actions. Because we’re flawed by nature doesn’t mean we can’t take a stand and alter those things. The best thing you can do is take a stand."

"I’m not as strong as you..." I said. "You’re strong."

"No, I’m not, but every day I have to be, because that is the only way we can overcome. Every little step matters."

I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t, feeling overwhelmed by everything. She slipped an arm around me and gently stroked mine.

"The past is different for everyone, Anastasia. My past was filled with the difficult choices I had to make, betrayal, rediscovering myself, and taking that leap of faith and love. What is the past to you, Anastasia? What are you trying so hard to run from?"

Her words struck me so hard I felt a chill seize my spine, and before I even realized it, I replied with immense confusion. "I don’t know."

I’d tried so hard to remain in that safe little bubble with Zade that it never once occurred to me to ask what I was actually shielding myself from.

The past was something I’d no memory of, but I’d experienced Déjà vu and got a glimpse of flashes that proved the possibility of what I had lost.

Then it hit me. I wasn’t running from the truth or the fact that the man I love was my sister’s killer. I was running from an unknown past that held a dark secret that scared me.

"Deal with it."

At the sound of Zade’s voice, I shot my head to the corner where he had emerged from, saying something to Luca and Dante.

When did Dante get here?

I heard a vibration, and my attention was pulled back to Catherine taking out her phone from her purse. The caller read Honey with hearts and kisses emojis.

"Aren’t you gonna pick that up?" I asked when I noticed she lingered.

"I will. But you still need someone to talk to."

"I’m fine," I replied honestly. "Thank you. Talking with you made me realize something."

I turned to Zade, fixing him with an intense stare, my brow knitted in thought.

"I’m glad to hear that. One last thing..." She opened her purse and took out the glitter pen Esme had given me to sign her ballet shoes.

Catherine found a piece of paper and wrote down a number.

"That’s my number..."

"I shouldn’t," I hesitated.

"Yes, you should." She took my hand and placed the paper on my palm. "You can call me any time. We may be cities apart, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends."

"Friends?" I questioned, a smile slowly tugging at my lips.

"Maybe one of these days you can come visit me in Midnight. I’m sure Esme would be ecstatic."

"I’d love that. I’ve never had a Don’s wife for a friend before. Is there anything I should know about?"

She chuckled. "There! That light-hearted tone suits you better."

We embraced.

Her phone rang again, but this time she answered, pushing to her feet. I kept my eyes on her, watching as her men followed her out.

Catherine was a wonderful woman, and I hoped I’d get to see her again.

I pushed to my feet, just in time to see Zade and Luca coming closer.

"How’s your head?" I asked in worry.

"Don’t worry about me, sis. I’m as good as new."

"Maybe you should get that checked," I said, not convinced.

He was knocked out cold and bleeding. He needed to lie down or something.

"Will do." He handed me my minaudière.

He left, meeting up with Dante, who spared a look in my direction before following after Luca.

Did he look worried or was my eyes playing tricks on me?

I dragged my eyes back to Zade with an unreadable expression. He took his hand out of his pocket and cupped my cheeks, stroking the bruise.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes, but I’m fine. What about Clara?"

"Handled."

I’m not about to ask what he meant by that.

"What about Shane? The reason for her actions was because of him. She said he was missing and presumed dead."

He exhaled, his chest expanding from the action. He had taken off his bow tie and rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt up his corded arms. His hair was a bit messy, like he had run his hand through them several times.

He looked stressed, and it suddenly reminded me of the panic in his eyes when he barged into the room looking for me.

I have seen Zade as many things but that side of him made me wonder what went through his mind that moment.

"Let’s say you don’t have to worry about Shane ever again."

That’s a relief.

"Can we go home now?"

"Yes, darling."

He braced a hand at the small of my back and led me out of the building.

The ride back was quiet, but there was a stiffness in the air, maybe mostly from me. Zade kept his eyes trained on me the whole time, as though studying my breathing and every time my mouth came apart.

So I broke the silence.

"Why did you kill Annabeth?"

Zade doesn’t bat an eye. "I already told you why."

"You did," I replied. "You said she became a problem. But you never gave me a solid reason. Did she try to hurt me? Is that why you killed her?"

He held my gaze. "Are you sure you want the answer to that?"

"Yes."

"...Then you already know the answer."

I swallowed hard.

"I killed her because she came between us. She was willing to go as far as taking your life."

My breath hitched as I turned to look out the window, the tears stinging my eyes.

I recalled the flash I saw at the hunt when Lisa pointed a gun at me, and in place of that, I saw Annabeth, and the rage in her eyes was unmatched.

I told myself many times it meant nothing, and I chose to bury it and treat it as a mere trick, but it never was. Especially now that I know a part of my past was missing.

"Why?" I asked in a shuddering breath. "Why would she..."

"I wish I knew. But I did what I did to protect you... and I’d do it again."