Chapter 188 Kindness
Fittingly helpful for when the truth is too painful and haunting to say.
"That is so awful!" Margaret exclaims, bug-eyed. "I do not know that woman. But she is so fortunate to have such a sweet granddaughter like you." She smiles, but it falls almost immediately. "Where would you be staying at?
Hopefully not with that useless bastard right?"
That got me so confused that I almost exposed my own lie.
I wanted to ask what she meant by that until I quickly recalled the imaginary, rapist and abusive stepfather fabricated story that I told.
Shit, scratch that! Lies are not much of protection. They are bad and powerful. It easily escapes your memory because that is what it is—a lie. But the people you tell see and believe it as the truth.
She is starting to look at me strangely. "No of course I won’t." I deny firmly.
He got arrested for gambling and is currently in jail. He won’t be out for a while. But I will be staying with an aunt just to be safe." More, more lies.
"That is good to hear. You should speak out about the abuse to the police so he should stay in jail longer okay?"
"Of course. I am thinking of doing that. How much is the total accommodation bills?"
"It’s on the house. Do not bother with that, instead just give me a hug. I am sad to see you go."
It is still surreal to believe that Margaret did not collect money from me. I had appreciated her a lot more than I have ever done in my life. Richard’s Mother too for the food that she packed for me. She also believed the same story that I had told Margaret. I knew that they liked me but I did not know that it is to this extent. It is hard to believe that I am so well liked by them. It must be out of pity because I told them that I was sexually abused.
But for whichever reason I am glad that I came across such kind people. I may not have gotten the mental peace that I came here for. But I met people who warmed me with their kindness. Doing the little that they could to prevent me from falling deeper into the emotional and mental slump that I am in.
Their kindness, especially Margaret’s made me mad at first. I would force myself to be polite to her. I wanted to beware from kindness after being betrayed and hurt by people who pretended to be kind.
Later on I realized that I shouldn’t just decide to stop eating fish altogether because I got bitten by one fish. Now I am never going to forget them.
"Why are you smiling?" Richard points out, making me aware of it. "Are you that happy to return home?" I did tell the truth to Richard since he already knows from what I told him yesterday. That brings to my notice that I had told him just last night and now here I am leaving. Maybe I wouldn’t have if I had known that I will soon end up leaving.
But I cannot deny that the sordid load did not feel lighter when I told him.
"No. I’m just thinking about you guys. You, your mom and Margaret. I can’t appreciate you all enough."
"It is kinda sad that you suddenly have to go. You could’ve lied." He said. "You think I told them? They knew where I was. My Dad is a detective."
"That explains it." He said. "Would you be coming back here?"
"I don’t know." I shrug, "Maybe?" I stop, facing him for a final goodbye as we reach the train station. This is where we are finally parting.
"Can I give you a hug?" He asks. I hold out my arms in response even though I’m not much of a hugger. He comes into my embrace. More like I’m in his because he is taller, making me shorter than I really am. Don’t get me wrong, I like tall guys. If I’m ever going to have a boyfriend, a tall height would always be the first thing I would go for. I don’t know how long that we’ve been hugging, and he is still refusing to let go. There are a lot of people here. Some would stare and then mind their business. I have no doubt that they must be thinking that we are lovers saying a sad farewell.
"Is it bad and selfish of me to wish that someone would get you offended and make you run back here?"
"Yes. Bad kid." I scold, hitting his back lightly. He pulls away, chuckling. "Take care of yourself. And your mother."
"That goes without saying. I should be saying that to you."
"I guess so."
"Take care. And do not forget to give a double smack to you-know-who on the face and throw a kick in his balls if he ever dares to come near you again." He whispers that.
"What do you mean?"
"Go get your ticket. The train would soon depart. Bye!" He says, then he spun around, leaving. "Are you not going to wait until I get on the train?" I shout after him surprised that he is apparently not going to do that. He pauses, partially turning to glance at me. "No. We have done enough goodbyes. That would be a sad one.
And I hate sad goodbyes. Keep in touch!" He waves. I watch his back until I could no longer see it before I go to ticket sales. I get on the train after getting one. The train starts moving almost as soon as I settled in. I let out a shaky breath, then take a deep one after to calm the overwhelming unease raging inside me at the fact that I am going back to St John’s County where Krohns and it’s bastards are. My mind suddenly goes to what Richard said; "Give a double smack to you-know-who and a kick in his balls." What did he mean?