Thrust Into His Arms

Song Recommendation; Everytime by Brittany Spears

He is poking at a sour, painful spot.

"Wait, let me see that photo again." Lucas suddenly asks.

"What photo?" Curtis ask, lost.

"I was right. It does seem familiar." He said.

"Familiar?"

"Yes. This beach looks so like the one we hung out in when I tagged along with my

sister and her friends on what was supposed to be an educational school trip." He says.

"Who, Margot?"

"How many sisters do I have?"

Curtis answers. "One. . . Two—no one! I must’ve drank a little too much."

"Where was that?"

"Konos Beach in Fort Lauderdale." He answers.

"But doesn’t like. . .all beaches look similar?" Curtis asks.

"Perhaps. But I remember that one particularly because that was were I lost my virginity to one of my sister’s friends. Right on the sand.

And she took me to an orgy house the next day and made me promise not to say a word about it to Margot. It would always be the best moment of my life." He is grinning like it’s an achievement.

Curtis whistles, exclaiming, "Woah, that sounds like Heaven! Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve come too."

"That was four years ago. I barely even knew you then.

And besides, I still saw you as the bratty brainless coward who broke my Dad’s infinity golf club and could not even own up to it. Making me take the fall."

"Dude, you should let that go by now. We both know your Dad is as scary as fuck. I had to pin it on you."

"Can we go back to the photo please?" I call their attention. They diverted from that all of a sudden.

"Right. I have a hunch that it might be there—I’m right!" He shouts, we all look at the computer and see a location ping. "It’s there."

"Fort Lauderdale?"

I knew that she could not have gone far, but I never could’ve guessed that it’s so close by.

"Thanks. Send it to my phone." I was making to head out, but abruptly hit a pause because of what Lucas said. "You want to get her to come back? I don’t think that would be a good idea."

I partially turn to face him, "Why?"

"Because she would rather be anywhere than be here. She couldn’t handle it, and that is why she left."

"It would be better to just leave her alone. Do you think she would want to see your face much more come back here?

Everything is ruined for her. No amount of fixing would undo it."

"He is right, Cal. The guilt might be heavy now, but it would lessen as time goes on."

I fucking know.

I have thought about all this but hearing them saying it is pricking into me like a thousand needles.

Forcing me to face the fact that what I had done to her was disastrous and irreparable. The idea of fixing it that I’m holding on to is merely a delusion to try and curb the immense guilt.

The situation is like a broken egg. It can’t be fixed.

GWENETH

I awoke in the same fashion as I have been doing for the past two weeks; Deep terror deluging me.

It starts to subside when I realize that it’s just another nightmare. It fails to register, leaving me in Freudian agony for the first three seconds

I’m sweating heavily, my hands are cold with just a little bit of sweat. The vision of Calix with his hands on my body still haunts me, and I can’t shake the memory of his eyes and that night that I consider ill-fated. He has invaded my dreams and mental space so much that it does not seem like I’m physically distance away.

They always start with me running through a dark forest. The overwhelming dread he stirs forcing me to flee. Yet, he always catches up to me, pinning me from behind.

The dreams used to end with him holding me tightly as his hand invades by body. But now it’s not just him alone.

There are two others now, him making it three. I scream and struggle as they force me to the ground, they’re hands moving over my body with dangerous intent.

Looking at their faces, I see that they are all the same. Their lips move with them saying the same thing all at once. "You’re mine."

Spoken in a firm manner that sounds like a declaration that gives no room for bargaining or argument.

The voice is still echoing in my head even now.

I am holding in a scream that is threatening to break out from my voice box because I know it would shake up the entire motel as it has a poor sound insulation because it’s the

cheapest in the area and probably in the whole of Fort Lauderdale. I could only put my hand on my ears, shaking my head hoping it would erase the voice.

I had hoped that getting out of there would help me forget about him. But it seems my subconscious is adamant about clinging to his memories and morphing out scarier ones. Tonight proves no different as I find myself tossing and turning in bed, sleep eluding me.

Glancing at the clock reveals it’s nearing six in the morning; quietly slipping out of bed, I padded to the bathroom for another round of intense brushing. The sobs that I was trying so hard to suppress escaped from my lips.

Pathetically, I fell to my knees weeping loudly. "Happy..." I laughed in a cracked, forced voice that didn’t seem like mine. The anguish stabbing through my heart and soul.

I just want it all to end. I could barely keep my eyes open. They were puffed up after crying for so long.

My eyes felt painful and couldn’t produce any more liquid. I sat silently, staring at the tiled floor with nothing else to do.

I jolt out of the sappiness when I suddenly hear a knock on the door.