Chapter 167 Aftermath
Song Recommendation; Bye by Ariana Grande—Altare remix
GWENETH
"You’ll have to go pick up Percy later because I can’t." I sombrely inform Dad over the phone.
"Why?" He asked, sounding a lot more confused than I expected.
I breath out, "l’m leaving Dad.
I need to get out of this place for a while. Sorry, I took some money in your draw—
"Wait a minute Gwen. Hold on—what are you saying?" He rushes out.
"I just can’t stay here after all that’s happened. He has succeeded. I’m ruined, expelled. There is nothing here but sorrow and trauma for me anymore.
I’m getting on the train now heading to Aventura.
I wilI call you when I get there. And please let mom know for me." I hang up and quickly turned off my phone after saying that, not giving him a chance to speak or understand. I know this is very impulsive of me. But it’s just what I need right now. I plan on staying there for a week or two before returning.
My little change as well as the money I took from Dad’s drawer should last me for that long. I did not want to let him know about it now and wanted to wait until I had arrived there but then it would be like disappearing into thin air. He would be crazy worried, and someone has to go take Percy later. Even if mom wasn’t miles away Dad would still be the only one I would call because he is reasonable and understanding.
And so that my name and picture do not end up on the news or some flyer as a missing person. This is a very bold change for me and I’m so nervous, I don’t know what to expect. This is my first time going on a trip alone. I just know that whatever happens there can’t be half as worse as Krohns. I need space and liberation time to bleach that damn place away from my mind.
Maybe when I return, I won’t remember much of it to the extent of wishing to not exist.
I can see my breath coming out in front of my face in hot spurts through the cold air. I can’t feel the cold, though. I can’t feel anything. Fort Lauderdale, I read from a travel magazine that it is called the Venice of America.
It has great beaches too. Yeah I lied to Dad. I’m not heading to Aventura. I don’t know why I did that. It just came into my mind and I followed it. I sigh, resting my head against the window glass as the train starts to move. I just hope that this would not end up being a really bad decision.
************TWO WEEKS LATER************
CALIX
I watch as the gray leather surface of the sandbag turns red. My blood leaves a strange pattern as I punch it over and over again. My knuckles bleed profusely, but they don’t hurt anymore. They never really did—not the way I want them to.
I can’t fucking feel it. I hit harder, hoping that the pain will return, but I’m already numb. My body and mind are numb, leaving nothing but an empty feeling like a tree that has been hollowed out.
I push myself to the brink of passing out before finally stopping. Hugging the bag, I lean against it pressing my sweaty forehead to the smooth surface to catch my breath. The world spins out of control, and I can do nothing to stop it. I feel helpless and weak, and I hate it.
Walking into the bathroom of the boxing studio, I actively avoid looking into the mirror as I run cold water over my hands until the water turns from pink to clear. My heart is still racing, and my breathing is labored. I feel like I am suffocating. The walls are closing in on me, leaving no space for my lungs to inflate all the way. And it’s not just the walls. My mind, my body, my soul—everything is spiraling. It has become worse day by day. I made her leave this place. I destroyed her dreams.
I destroyed my friendship with Rex too. That thought and the guilt of it has been burning me relentlessly. How long has it been since she left? Time has blurred together, and so has the days. It sucks big time. I’m so much regretting it—all of it. She had left the very next day. I learned that after a man whom I later discovered to be her father tracked me down here with a couple of police agents. I was detained for twenty-four hours while they tried to build some sort of case against me for sexual assault to which I didn’t affirm nor deny. They did not find any evidence because I had gotten in touch with a professionally skilled hacker to wipe off the video and all traces of it from the internet since Curtis and Lucas couldn’t.
It was brutal. Not Rex’s silence or her father’s blows that day that at the station. It is something that I could never have imagined; never in my wildest fucking dreams would I have thought that I’d feel this type of pain.
The sting of loss, I have heard it called. It feels as if as though I have lost something important that I really cherish. I haven’t had anything or anyone to cherish, never felt the need to have someone, to make them completely mine.
I haven’t wanted to hold on to someone so fiercely. The panic—the complete and utter fucking fear of losing her—wasn’t planned. None of this was.
It was supposed to be easy; get what I want and discard her like every other girl. Pretty cut-and-dried. Only it didn’t happen that way. Now I feel as though there is an invincible knife plunged deep into my chest.
My mind not clear for anything except finding her and doing whatever it takes to make up for my mistakes. The hope of finding her wherever she is now is diminishing. Will I ever find her and get a chance to make it right? The sound of my phone ringing nonstop makes me push off the floor to go check who it is. My eyes hardened when I see that it’s Uncle. He has been on my neck for that Chicago mission despite me making it clear that I won’t be doing it. I have hurt Rex enough. I won’t add to that in anyway. If he really want Rex’s Dad dead he should send someone else. "Why have you not done your mission yet?"
"Didn’t I already tell you? Get off my back, okay." I hang up on him and change out of the black tank shirt and shorts. It’s almost time for the underground fight. I leave the boxing studio and entered my car to drive to the underground fighting ring. A place I have been going to punish myself and get pain ever since Gweneth disappeared. The blood, the deafening cheers and roars, and the fight to the death the only thing capable of making me less numb. And also because nothing else is capable of punishing me. I let my opponents have their chance in the beginning by letting them attack and almost take me down because that is reason I’m there for.
I wrap the small cloth tight around my knuckles. The thing serving as some sort of glove. I could hear the crowd roaring outside, expectant and thrilled to death for another night of bloodshed. Who would have thought that Tino also ran an illegal fighting ring aside from illegal racing. I wouldn’t be surprised if he sells drugs too. Dude’s quite big on illegal. "Okay. You ready? crowds are excited for the show. Give them a really good one like you’ve been doing, and I’ll set you up later with some really nice chicks who are great fans of your work, huh?" He said with a suggestive wink.
"Don’t bother. I’m leaving as soon as I’m done."
"Okay, what is going on with you man? You’ve been a bad wreck these days. I never asked why you enter the ring every night and don’t collect the pay. Isn’t it about time you tell me why?" He questions.
Even if I have a clear answer to that, I won’t speak and tell him why. That I’m doing this as a way to punish myself because it is the only capable option.
My body flung hard against the iron surrounding the cage. I spit out thick blood. My head is spinning, vision dazed from the series of punches I had taken from my opponent. A bald ugly looking gaint human who almost looks like a beast. Where does this guy even come from? He is strutting around the cage holding his hands up drawing more thunderous cheers from the crowd.
They’re roaring at him to go for the killing blow and end this fight in his ultimate favor.
They’re booing me now. The ones who had placed bets on me are pissed as fuck. But I don’t care about them.
I had come on my own benefits and terms which is the blood and this pain. No amount of throwing punches at a lifeless sandbag is going to give me that.