Thrust Into His Arms

"The fact that she flew abroad for her honeymoon, while I did mine in a cheap, crappy hotel on itchy bedsheets.

I’m not jealous, if that is what you’re thinking." She holds up her hand to clarify.

"It is just that it is so inconsiderate of her. Such a show off!" I laugh heartily when she concludes. I could really tell how much it irks her by her tone. I could not help the laughter. It is fun to hear her speak. Jealousy does not look good on her at all. She laughs too.

We both keep on laughing until we could laugh no more. "How is school?" She asks.

"It’s fine. The school is really nice." I tried my possible best to sound sincere on that lie. I’m surprised at how good at lying I have become since I started Krohn’s Highschool.

"Well then. You better buckle up to your studies and get rid of that useless bastard you’re seeing." Her tone and expression is dead serious.

Except, unless you fancy ending up in a third-rate start-up company where you would hear your colleagues babble on and show off things that you don’t have. That is if you’re lucky. But don’t hope on luck, Gweneth. It is the most fickle and stupid thing.

Ruining your life and hope that you would be lucky to escape the consequences, it is impossible. Trust me, that is not a part you would want to walk on. Take it from someone who has been there."

I put down my fork. The vibe is getting uncomfortable to be eating now. Plus I wanna try and clear the thick fog of misunderstanding between us.

I brace myself, starting, "Listen, me having a boyfriend? That is not true at all. I don’t know who even started that rumor." I explain once again. Maybe she would understand this time. She scoffs, "Rumor?

Humor me.

Go on, let’s hear it. There isn’t a smoke without some fire. If you hadn’t created the fire, by happily jumping in his car and letting him drive you home, there would not have been the rumor smokes." Her voices raises sharp as she continues, "It is even wrong to call it a rumor because it is not a lie!

I saw it with my own two eyes. Idle Mrs Bradley next door was happy to show me the picture on her phone! You looked so happy in it!"

Wait, she saw the photo? No wonder she got angry. I denied it. I said it wasn’t me. I thought it was better to deny it.

"Look mom, I—"

"If you’re still going to tell lies, then save it!"

"Mom, please let me explain and hear me out." I begged. "I know what it might look like and I understand your worries and concern. But I’m not dating him or anyone. The guy was just being kind by taking me home that day."

She folds her, lines of crease appearing on her forehead. "Listen to how you make it sound casual. Taking you home, huh? How long have you been in that school for? But you already have a guy who. . . just takes you home?" Her voice drips with unbelievable amounts of irony.

And it cuts more than a knife can.

"It was only once. And it was because he insisted." I give reason.

"She gives out a mirthless laughter. "You really expect me to believe that? Tell me, would that sound believable to you if the situation was reversed here? Don’t kid me." I shake my head, leaning my back on the chair, not knowing what to say. It is crystal clear now that this conversation would not get anywhere. It is better to let her believe that I was driven home by a boyfriend instead of letting her know that it was my bully. I cry silently.

Damn it! I knew this would happen! I told that asshole not to drive me straight home but he didn’t listen. He is the reason for all this.

"What stage are you and the bastard in now besides car—noodling?

Kissing?

Playing around with each other’s private parts?"

I stay silent, no longer trying to correct her because there is nothing I would say now that would not add another length to this talk. "I thought about putting you on birth control since you are already fooling around. But then I also thought, why should I?

I would only be giving you a license and approval to fool around more. So go all the way with your boyfriend. And make sure to go without protection so the consequences would come out and then you would face them!"

At the end of her words, I feel a surge of bitterness. It is tightening in my chest and heating up my blood. I felt something snap in me. Like a string of restrain. I tell her the words that I have been meaning to since the day she brought up the issue.

"Do you think everyone is like you?"

I notice how her expression changes from open-mouthed shock, to a look of sheer disbelief.

But it doesn’t stop me. I should get it all out and relieve my chest of the tightness from holding back so many words that I want to say. I might regret it. But right now, I simply don’t give a damn!

"Do you think that I plan on being like you?

No chance in hell mom!

If I planned on ending up like you, I wouldn’t have pushed myself into getting a scholarship into that school and still pushing myself now to endure things that I shouldn’t just to have a great future!" I yell at her.

Percy starts crying in his babysitter, but it barely gets to me. I’m too pissed. Mom is too. I see how her hands is clenching on top the table. How she is breathing slow and hard, and how her eyes are looking killer. But let her be angry. That look of hers is not going to intimidate me today.

"Gweneth, shut it. I am your mother. You do not get to speak to me that way!" She fires.

"You don’t get to be the only one who can get mad. I’m not a good for nothing, mom." I say, pointing to myself. "I’m sensible and smart enough to make good decisions for myself even without you. I understand that you don’t want me to end the way you did with me. But there is no need for it."

"Maybe I might have believed that if a guy is not in the picture. Hanging out and doing stupid things with him is the reason you are having this audacity to talk back to me!"

I stand up from the chair, shifting it far behind me. Now it is my turn to laugh with no clear amusement.

"I don’t plan on being a teenage mom like you!"