The V-tuber Who Became Obsessed With Me

ETHAN’S POV

She stood just inside the apartment, one hand still resting on the doorknob as if she’d forgotten to let go. Her eyes swept across the room, taking everything in: the open cardboard box, the passport on the floor, Susan... and finally me.

She looked confused before she looked angry.

"How did you get in?"

"The door wasn’t locked."

She answered automatically, but she wasn’t really talking to me. She couldn’t take her eyes off what she’d just walked into.

"What am I looking at?"

I opened my mouth.

Nothing came out.

There wasn’t a simple answer. I didn’t know whether to explain the passport, the ransom note, or why she’d found Susan holding me.

"So..." She let out a quiet, humorless laugh. "This is what you’ve been doing?"

"Raina, it’s not—"

She raised a hand.

"I wasn’t talking to you."

The words weren’t sharp. If anything, they sounded shaken.

Her eyes returned to me.

"What is she doing here, Ethan?"

"We were..."

"Hugging."

She answered for me.

"I noticed."

"It isn’t what you think."

"Then tell me what it is."

"I am trying."

I rubbed a hand over my face, searching for words that refused to come.

"You’ve walked into the middle of something."

"What kind of something?"

"I..."

The answer caught in my throat.

Susan stepped forward.

"Ethan doesn’t owe anybody an explanation."

Raina turned to her slowly.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Susan folded her arms.

"If you’d stopped for five seconds and looked around instead of assuming the worst, you’d realize something serious has happened."

"I did look."

Raina glanced at the passport before meeting Susan’s eyes again.

"I also saw you in his arms."

Susan didn’t back down.

"He needed someone."

"And you decided that someone should be you?"

"I was here."

The words landed harder than either of us expected.

Susan’s expression didn’t change.

"You weren’t."

The room went quiet.

I saw the hurt flicker across Raina’s face before she buried it.

She nodded once, more to herself than to anyone else.

"I’ve been trying very hard to stay calm."

Her voice never rose.

"But you’re making that incredibly difficult."

"I’m not afraid of you."

"I never asked you to be."

Raina took a small step forward.

"I asked you to respect boundaries."

"And what boundaries are those?"

"The ones you keep pretending not to see."

"Enough."

The word came out sharper than I intended.

Both of them looked at me.

I moved between them before either could say another word.

"Please."

I looked at Susan first, then back at Raina.

"This isn’t the time."

Raina stared at me for several seconds.

When she finally laughed, it wasn’t bitter.

It sounded hurt.

"Not the time?"

She shook her head slowly.

"I come here because I wanted to see you, and I walk in to find you holding another woman."

She swallowed.

"And you’re telling me this isn’t the time?"

"It wasn’t like that."

"Then help me understand."

There was no accusation in her voice anymore.

Only confusion.

"I know what this looks like," I said.

"Do you?"

Her eyes searched mine.

"Because from where I’m standing, it looks pretty obvious."

She glanced around the apartment again before looking back at me.

"I didn’t come here expecting a fight, Ethan."

Her voice softened.

"I came because I wanted to see you."

That hit me harder than I expected.

Only then did I notice the little things.

She’d changed clothes.

Her hair had been done.

She’d actually made an effort before coming over.

She hadn’t come expecting this.

Guilt settled heavily in my chest.

For one reckless second, I almost told her everything.

About Jade.

About the ransom note.

About the address.

About how badly my life had fallen apart.

"I’m sorry."

The words barely left my mouth.

"I know how this looks."

"Then tell me the truth."

I looked at her.

God, I wanted to.

More than anything.

But I couldn’t.

Not without dragging her even deeper into a nightmare I didn’t understand myself.

"I can’t."

The answer escaped before I could stop it.

Raina didn’t argue.

She didn’t shout.

She just stood there, staring at me as though those two words had hurt more than anything else I’d said.

Silence settled over the apartment.

The silence lingered until it became impossible to ignore.

I looked at Raina, then away again. My mind kept circling the same thoughts, none of them leading anywhere.

She took a cautious step toward me.

"Ethan... just tell me what’s going on."

I laughed quietly, but there wasn’t any humor in it.

"Do you know what the craziest part is?"

She frowned.

"What?"

"A few months ago, my biggest problem was meeting deadlines."

I rubbed my forehead.

"Now my best friend’s been kidnapped."

I nodded toward the passport on the floor.

"Someone’s threatening to send me his head if I make the wrong move."

Her eyes followed mine to the passport. The color drained from her face.

"Ethan..."

"I wake up every morning thinking maybe today’s the day things finally settle down." I shook my head. "Then something else happens."

I looked at her.

"First Felix."

"Then X-Reveals."

"Then I found out who your grandfather really is."

"And now Jade."

She stared at me, disbelief replacing the anger she’d walked in with.

"You think this because of me ?"

The answer came immediately.

"I don’t think you kidnapped Jade."

"Then what are you saying?"

The word came out sharper than I’d intended.

I rubbed a hand over my face.

"I’m tired."

"I’m tired of trying to convince myself none of this has anything to do with you."

"I keep telling myself you’re different."

"I keep telling myself none of this is your fault."

"But every time I think it’s over..."

"...there’s another secret."

"Another lie."

"Another person gets hurt."

She took a cautious step toward me.

"This isn’t me."

"I know."

My voice softened.

"But it is your world."

"And somehow..."

"I’m always the one caught in the middle."

Her eyes glistened.

"This isn’t my world."

"It is."

She shook her head.

"No. My grandfather made his choices. I didn’t."

"I know."

"I’ve never lied to you about how I feel."

"I know."

"I’ve never wanted any of this."

"I know."

She stared at me, confused.

"Then why are you looking at me like I’m the enemy?"

I closed my eyes for a second.

"Because every time I look at you now..."

My voice faltered.

"...I remember everything that’s happened."

The room fell silent.

"I hate that."

She blinked.

"I hate that the woman I love is tied to all of this."

The words hit her harder than shouting ever could.

"Ethan..."

"I don’t want to wonder if the next phone call is going to tell me someone else is dead."

"I don’t want to wonder if the next person I lose is because of a war I never asked to be part of."

"I’m tired, Raina."

"So damn tired."

She crossed the space between us before I realized what she was doing.

She reached for my hand.

I looked down at it.

For a moment, I almost held on.

Instead, I let my hand fall to my side.

The hurt on her face was immediate.

"No..."

She searched my eyes.

"Don’t do that."

Her voice trembled.

"Don’t push me away."

"I don’t know how not to."

"You don’t mean that."

"I wish I didn’t."

A tear slipped down her cheek before she could wipe it away.

"We always get through things."

She gave a shaky laugh.

"Remember? That’s what you always tell me."

I couldn’t answer.

Because I used to believe it.

She took another step.

"We’ll figure this out. We always do."

I looked at her for a long time.

Part of me wanted to believe her.

Part of me wanted to forget the passport on the floor, forget Jade, forget every secret that had come between us.

But wanting it didn’t make it true.

I drew in a slow breath.

"I can’t do this anymore."

She froze.

"What?"

"I can’t keep pretending everything’s going to be okay."

"Ethan..."

"I love you."

The words doesn’t surprised me because I know she do

"And that’s exactly why this hurts."

She shook her head over and over.

"No."

"I don’t want to lose you."

"Then don’t."

Her voice cracked.

"Please."

"I don’t know how to keep you in my life without losing myself."

She stared at me, unable to speak.

I forced the words out before I lost the nerve.

"We’re over."

She looked at me as if the floor had disappeared beneath her.

"No."

It came out as a whisper.

"You don’t mean that."

"I do."

"You’re scared."

"I am."

"Then let me be scared with you."

That almost broke me.

Almost.

Instead, I looked away.

"I can’t."

She covered her mouth, trying to steady her breathing.

When she spoke again, her voice was barely audible.

"I didn’t come here to fight."

She wiped at her eyes.

"I came to tell you Felix woke up."

My head snapped up.

"He’s home."

For a moment, nobody spoke.

"I thought..." She tried to smile, but it fell apart halfway. "I thought you’d want to know."

She turned toward the door.

Her hand rested on the handle, and she stopped.

Just for a second.

Waiting.

Hoping.

I couldn’t make myself say her name.

The door closed softly behind her.

I stood there staring at it, unable to move.

I’d spent days convincing myself that walking away from Raina was the right thing to do.

So why did it feel like I’d just made the worst mistake of my life?