Board & Conquest: A Godly LitRPG

Raiding the vault proved to be very profitable.

Wepwawet and Victoire elected to examine the entire inventory before dealing with their potential new recruit. The hoard they found included a wealth of gold and silver coins, necklaces, statuettes, and jewelry worth a fortune when put together.

Besides Victoire’s new spear, Wepwawet also identified two particularly interesting artifacts. The first was a centuries-old, magically preserved tome bound in a cover of dragonscales. While lacking any particular enchantment besides the one preserving it from the ravages of time, Wepwawet quickly read through its contents in an instant and realized that it contained a wealth of spellcasting research; including how to create vaults like this one and alchemical slimes. This tome probably belonged to a court mage of some kind and would greatly benefit the likes of Wintresse or Renarde.

The other, most important find was a golden diadem with six ivory fangs for horns and engraved with a winged lion’s symbol. This crown’s magic put even the spear’s to shame.

Crown of Valentine

Category: Accessory (Crown)

Quality: S

Effect 1: Stat Booster (two spots): Grants +5 CHA and LCK to the wearer.

Effect 2: Royal Protection (two spots): Grants immunity to mental ailments, such as Charm or Madness.

Effect 3: Valentinian Authority: Allows the user to call and command the Questing Beast of Glatisant.

Restriction: The crown only grants its power to the properly ordained Monarch of Valentine.

The lost crown of Valentine, who overthrew its last mad king in a bloody revolt. Shame the mental protection didn’t work against self-inflicted derangements, right?

“What’s the Questing Beast of Glatisant?” Wepwawet asked Victoire.

“A creature said to represent the Valentinian Royal Family,” Victoire answered calmly. Both of them found it much easier to get past their very difficult earlier conversation when focusing on the vault’s treasures. “It’s only a legend.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Considering how the Lunarians had turned out to be very real, Wepwawet would assume all of this world’s legends were true until demonstrably proven otherwise. “Can you put the crown on?”

Victoire hesitated an instant and then reluctantly placed the diadem on her head. The gold contrasted neatly with her blue hair, but while the crown’s magic subtly reacted to her, most of its power remained dormant.

“It looks good on you,” Wepwawet said, which only caused his Champion to adorably glare back at him. Victoire clearly hated being teased about her newfound royal status. “Do you feel any different?”

“Yes, I feel uncomfortable,” Victoire complained. “Can I take it off?”

“It seems the magic isn’t responding to you,” Wepwawet replied. “The crown’s description says the monarch must be properly ordained before it grants them its power.”

“Valentinian Monarchs were crowned in the royal capital of Saguenay’s cathedral, which is half a world away.” Victoire took off the crown and put it back on its pedestal. “Is there any other way to harness its power?”

“None that I can think of,” Wepwawet complained. The crown would have been a powerful piece of gear in Victoire’s hands. “Guess we’ll keep it stored away for now. It might come in handy one day.”

“So we’re finished… except for that thing.” Victoire glanced at the golden slime trapped in its flask. “You said it is some sort of living ooze?”

“One created by whoever wrote the grimoire,” Wepwawet confirmed. “Such creatures are usually mindless, but since only sentient creatures can become Champions this one should be an exception.”

“Usually?” Victoire raised an eyebrow. “Are creatures like this created often?”

“All the time! Half of a world’s monsters can usually be traced back to a wizard’s lab mishap.” And the other half to divine punishments, but Victoire was better off not knowing that detail. “I’ll trap it in ice should it prove hostile.”

“I would like to receive a Rank-Up beforehand, just in case.” Victoire scowled. “And please don’t tell me I’m eligible for a princess path or something.”

“Surprisingly not,” Wepwawet replied, though he guessed that was probably because Victoire hadn’t been properly ordained. “So… Snowheart?”

Victoire unsurprisingly nodded. Wepwawet couldn’t deny feeling a bit dejected at it, however much he tried to hide it. The thought of seeing his first and holiest Champion trying out the Paladin class appeared more and more unlikely. Their last conversation had only further hammered that nail in its coffin.

In fact, it gnawed at Wepwawet’s heart too. What kind of aspiring god couldn’t lift his first Champion’s spirit? He felt he was failing both Victoire and his divine duties in his inability to guide her in how to process the concept of death.

Maybe those cram school sessions Father mentioned could help with that, Wepwawet thought as he bathed Victoire in his holy light. I’m sure people like Allfather Odin or Lord Zeus would know better than I do.

Victoire Fleuret has ranked up in Snowheart! +3 STR, +3 AGI, +3 VIT, +4 SKI, +3 MAG, +3 INT, +4 CHA, +3 LCK! She gained the Weaponmaster II Perk!

Weaponmaster II: All Weapon Artifacts equipped inflict +5 Damage. This replaces Weaponmaster I.

Wepwawet also took the opportunity to record her new spear as an Artifact Miracle while at it, switching it out with the remaining copy of Boost Champion. The weapon was simply too good not to keep a record of it.

Quest: Relic Hunt III, completed! You’ve earned the Dragontooth Rank 9 Artifact Miracle.

Dragontooth Spear

Rank 9 Artifact

Unique. Conjures the Dragontooth Spear (quality A) at a designated spot.

Dragontooth Spear

Category: Weapon (Spear)

Quality: A

Bonus: + 17 STR

Accuracy: + 12 AV

Weight: 9

Effect 1: Dragonfang (two spots): Ignores half of a target’s vitality and Dragonscale’s damage resistance.

Effect 2: Returning Weapon: Returns to the user’s hand when called.

Effect 3: Flaming Weapon: Inflicts Fire damage.

A legendary dragon’s discarded toothpick (tooth included in the package), which humans eventually came to consider a sacred weapon.

New Quest: Relic Hunt IV

Acquire and bless a unique relic of cultural significance.

Reward: Artifact Miracle.

Wepwawet noticed two interesting trends. First of all, the Relic Hunt quest always renewed itself without any change and showed no increasing difficulty like all the others. Either it was simply a way for the System to validate all Artifact Miracles, or Wepwawet needed to complete hidden conditions to gain access to better quests.

Second, an Artifact’s quality rating heavily affected its associated Miracle’s ranking. Victoire’s B-ranked Magna-Shield was a rank 5 Miracle, while the A-ranked Torc of Grand-Loup and Dragontooth Spear were ranked 7 and 9 respectively. This implied that an S-ranked item like the Crown of Valentine would probably clock at Rank 10 or more, making them extremely costly to cast.

My issue is that all the higher-ranked Artifacts have been unique so far, so I can’t create more than one like I could with Sacred Weapon, Wepwawet thought. I shouldn’t clog my deck with too many of them. The only unique Artifacts worth recording are those most of my Champions could use in a pinch or those mighty enough to alter the course of entire battles on their own.

“Alright, I’m done,” Wepwawet told Victoire. “Let us interrogate our new Champion.”

Victoire nodded, grabbed the bottle, and then proceeded to spill out the contents of the container onto the floor. A high-pitched, bellowing sound immediately echoed throughout the Holy Vault in response.

Laughter.

“Mwahaha, fools! Fools! You’ve broken the seal!” The amber-colored slime expanded until it became as large as a pig, with black spots stretching on its surface to form a smiley-like visage. “For centuries I’ve laid dormant, plotting my escape from that silicate prison! Prostrate yourself before Slimon! First of all oozes, master of the boneless! The greatest nonvertebrate genius this world has ever seen!”

A short and awkward silence followed, with both Wepwawet and Victoire exchanging a glance in their shared confusion.

The ooze deflated, figuratively and literally. “Y-you don’t know me?”

“Should we?” Victoire asked, more confused than anything.

“You understand him?” Wepwawet inquired. Whatever language the slime spoke differed from Verglane’s common tongue.

“It’s Valentinian,” Victoire replied with a sigh. “Old, archaic Valentinian.”

“A-archaic? I’m at the cutting edge of grammastic advancement!” The slime hopped in place like a petulant child. “In fact, I invent new words all the time! Like slimetastic!”

Wepwawet scoffed. “That’s where the genius part comes from?”

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“W-Why are you making it sound like it’s not an impressive achievement?!” The slime expanded slightly like a pressurized balloon, its color changing from yellow-orange to bright red. “I’ve invented stuff! Good stuff!”

“Like what?” Victoire asked with skepticism.

“Like…” The slime struggled to answer for a moment, its body paling until it came up with a solution. “A washing substance that, when mixed with hot water, cleans the skin of impurities!”

“Soap?” Victoire squinted at the slime in disbelief. “You’ve invented soap?”

“Yes! And that paper thing you humanoids use to wipe that portable sewer hole organ in your behind!” The slime’s spot-eyes squinted in an expression that oozed smugness. “What do you say to that, huh? Huh?!”

Oh, I get it, it’s the compensating-for-their-size type of Champion. Wepwawet wondered when he would encounter one of those. Miss Athena had extensively briefed her students on how to treat those kinds of troublemakers.

Whatever the case, Victoire didn’t look impressed either. “Why would the inventor of soap end up trapped in a flask?”

“Because I was betrayed! Betrayed!” The slime reddened once again. “My assistant, Ingsworth, envious of my superior intellect and innovative approach to science, cast an all-powerful spell that trapped me in that unbreakable prison!”

Wepwawet didn’t detect any magic in the flask nor found it particularly difficult to break, but Victoire blinked in surprise. “Ingsworth? The archmage?” she asked, her voice laced with disbelief. “You knew him?”

“Of course I did, he creat—discovered me! That hominid still owes me money!”

“Archmage Ingsworth advised King Valentine I, who went on to found the eponymous kingdom,” Victoire informed Wepwawet. “If this slime tells the truth, then he has been around for at least six centuries.”

“I-if I’m telling the truth?” the slime complained. “Are you still doubting me?”

“Of course not, blessed Slimon,” Wepwawet said, sensing his chance for a recruitment speech. “I am Wepwawet, god of this land. I came to this place lured by a powerful mind worthy of divine inspiration.”

“W-what, really?” the slime brightened, literally. His skin turned so golden he might as well have transformed into a pile of actual gold. “I mean, yes, of course the heavens would recognize my peerless genius!”

“I have descended from the sky itself to give you a holy mission,” Wepwawet said while Victoire rolled her eyes. “A great danger threatens this land I watch over, and only a brilliant mind may light the way to our victory!”

“Say no more, sir!” Slimon replied with enthusiasm. “Gimme a lab worthy of my non-euclidian intellect, and I shall put the fire of victory in a bottle!”

This went easier than Wepwawet expected. He had expected Slimon to doubt his divinity or ask for proof, but the ooze appeared to take the possibility that a god would show up to recruit it for granted.

My stepmother was right, many mortals would kill for a compliment. Wepwawet swiftly claimed Slimon as his Champion and checked his stats. Let's see what he’s worth.

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