Chapter 146: Because of you
Nico
Finally, he asked the question that I had been dreading for so long.
To be honest, I had been waiting for him to ask me this ever since we officially became boyfriends, but because of the race and everything happening around us, we just never had the time.
There was a long silence in the dark room.
For a moment, neither of us said a word, and the quiet felt heavy between us.
I took a slow breath before I finally found the courage to respond.
"There is something I have been meaning to tell you," I said softly, clearing my throat as I sat up on the bed.
Alaric rose with me, pulling the blanket around his waist and giving me a worried, questioning look. "What is it? Is it something bad? Does it have to do with your uncle Harold?"
I shook my head immediately.
Harold was a nightmare on his own, but this was different. Expressing our true identity was something deeply difficult, especially in a society that refused to accept what we were.
"You are making me worried, Nico," Alaric whispered, his voice laced with anxiety. "Should I be worried? Are you..."
Before he could spiral any further, I reached out and took his hand. I gently held it in mine, using my thumb to rub the soft skin on the back of his hand in slow, soothing circles.
I shook my head at him with a soft, reassuring smile.
"There is nothing to worry about, princess. Everything is fine, I promise. You don’t need to be scared," I murmured, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "It’s just... hard for me to say it out loud."
Alaric let out a small, quiet sigh, his shoulders dropping a little. He squeezed my hand back gently. "You can take your time, Nico. You don’t have to force yourself if it’s too hard to talk about Harold or whatever is bothering you."
"It’s not Harold," I muttered softly.
I swallowed hard, feeling my heart pound against my ribs like a trapped bird. I looked straight into his hazel eyes, holding my breath for a second before the truth finally slipped past my lips. "I am an Enigma."
There was a long, suffocating pause after I let out my secret.
The words seemed to hang in the cool air of the bedroom, heavy and terrifying.
Alaric didn’t say anything. He didn’t move, he didn’t pull his hand away, and he didn’t even blink. He just stared at me with a completely blank expression on his face, as if his mind had suddenly frozen.
The silence was killing me.
Every second felt like an eternity, and the lack of reaction terrified me far more than if he had screamed or yelled.
"Please... say something," I begged softly, my voice cracking slightly. "Alaric, please. You’re scaring me. Say anything."
He still remained completely silent, his eyes wide as he processed what I had just revealed.
"Do you hate me now?" I asked, a sudden wave of panic washing over me.
I looked down at our joined hands, my chest aching so badly I could barely breathe. "If you hate me, I... I don’t even know how to go about my life anymore. I don’t know what I’ll do."
I let out another deep, shaky sigh, pulling my hand back from his. I rubbed my palms together slowly and gently, staring down at the bedsheets because I couldn’t bear to see disgust in his eyes.
"It’s fine," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion as I made to move toward the edge of the mattress. "If you don’t want to say anything, I understand. I will just go."
"No—Nico, wait," Alaric said quickly, reaching out to catch my wrist before I could slide off the bed. He pulled me back, shaking his head as if waking up from a dream. "I am sorry. I’m so sorry, Nico. It’s just... a lot to take in."
I paused, looking back at him carefully.
"I always imagined you were a Beta," Alaric admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as he stared at me in awe and confusion. "I mean... Enigmas are not even supposed to exist. They’re just urban legends."
"That is what the government wants everyone to believe," I said quietly, looking directly into his eyes. "They suppress the information so people stay calm and controlled. But we do exist, Alaric. I exist."
Alaric ran a hand through his messy hair, taking a deep breath as he tried to connect the dots in his head. "Why were you always running away, then? Every time after we were together... why did you always leave before I woke up?"
"I had no other options," I answered honestly, lowering my head slightly. "I was terrified."
"Terrified of what?"
"I was afraid of knotting you," I admitted softly.
Alaric frowned, looking genuinely confused. "Why would you be afraid of that? I’m an Alpha, Nico. It’s not like I can get pregnant or anything."
I just shrugged, a small, helpless sigh escaping my lips. "It was just my instinct, Alaric. An Enigma’s knot... it does things to another person’s biological hierarchy, even an Alpha’s. I didn’t want to force anything on you before you knew what I really was. My instincts were telling me to mark you, to claim you, and every time we slept together, it took everything in me not to knot you right then and there. So, I ran before I lost control."
Alaric sat back against the headboard, staring at me as if seeing me clearly for the exact first time. "This is... crazy. It’s so much to take in. You’ve been pretending to be a Beta this whole time? While racing in Formula 1?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"Nico, if anyone finds out, that could completely ruin your career!" Alaric said, his voice rising with genuine worry for me. "The media, the FIA, the sponsors—they would destroy you!"
"I have it under control," I assured him gently, reaching out to touch his knee. "Nobody is going to find out. Besides... I am retiring after this season anyway."
Alaric’s eyes widened in complete shock. "What? Retiring? Nico, you’re at the top of your game! You just won P1 in China! And you are heading towards the championship again this year. Why would you retire now?"
I looked at him, my expression softening entirely as I reached up to cup his cheek, brushing my thumb over his warm skin.
"Because of you," I whispered softly. ’’I am retiring because of you.’’