I Really Didn’t Want to Be a Trainer

January 17, Sunday.

It had been an entire night since Arcanine learned Overheat.

Lu Ye hadn’t slept a wink, still struggling to understand why all his Pokémon were so ridiculously talented.

Gengar could train on its own, Sylveon could grind dungeons AFK.

And now even the supposedly wise husky had taught itself a move.

“Is it even possible to find a slacker Pokémon these days?”

Sure, he could just go catch a Magikarp somewhere, but Lu Ye still preferred a proper fateful encounter.

Among all these little ones he’d bonded with, Lu Ye’s back was already full of stab wounds.

He sighed and turned to the only possible candidate left—Sirfetch’d.

“Quack? (:з」∠)”

Sirfetch’d shivered, grabbed its shield, and dashed out to the courtyard in a trot.

The pressure from The Chef made it instinctively begin today’s training.

“…Forget it.”

Lu Ye let out another sigh.

Since someone has to be the deadweight, why can’t that person be me?

Thankfully, Lu Ye still held a high position at home.

At the top of the household hierarchy was none other than Big Sis Sylveon.

And while Lu Ye could wrestle her down, he was often rendered helpless by Togepi.

A classic beast-chess power structure!

As for Duck Duck… while Coach Leek was a bit of a clown, he was at least decent as a coach.

In some way, Lu Ye and Sirfetch’d shared more than just a “slacker bond” or a “chef-and-ingredient bond”—maybe even a “low-skill bond”...

It was a clear day, with flocks of Pidgey soaring across the blue sky.

“Byii~ (*≧▽≦)” Sylveon was running on the treadmill in the living room, the bulb at the top blinking on and off.

Lu Ye walked up to the second-floor balcony and took a look outside.

Gengar had set a speaker in the yard and was stretching to the beat: “Gengarr!”

“Ka-meh~ヾ(⌐■_■)” Blastoise showed up next to Lu Ye, steady on its feet and holding a mug of hot tea brewed with Revival Root.

“Got any more? Pour me a cup too,” Lu Ye licked his lips.

It’s getting cold—how could he not have some goji-berry tea!

“Ka-meh.” Blastoise nodded, went back inside, and returned holding Lu Ye’s classic enamel mug.

Lu Ye took the mug, broke off a root of Revival Root, and dropped it into the cup.

Seeing the hesitant look on Blastoise’s face, Lu Ye chuckled.

“Don’t worry, I’ll buy more later.” Blastoise’s eyes lit up, and it pointed to the cannons on its back. “Ka-meh?”

“No need,” Lu Ye replied, expression mixed. “I know you know Scald, but I’ll just use the kettle.”

Maybe Blastoise was just worried about not being able to find hot water for tea while out on the road.

His move list had recently added Scald, which has a chance to burn the target.

Though that extra effect rarely triggered for Lu Ye, it worked just fine for brewing tea.

Still… Lu Ye’s feelings were complicated.

For his Blastoise, drinking lots of hot water wasn’t just hot—it was like drinking magma.

“Ka-meh…” Blastoise let out a disappointed sigh.

I was even planning to use Life Dew to make tea...

But maybe—if I replaced the water in my tank with Mystic Water,

Wouldn’t that boost the power dramatically? I won’t let Master down!

Lu Ye glanced at the now deeply pondering Blastoise and looked up at the sky.

The twin cannons on Blastoise’s back indeed had a lot of potential.

Like Blue’s Blastoise, which could use water cannon recoil to achieve short bursts of flight.

And when Red borrowed her Blastoise, he even filled the tank with Mt. Silver’s hot spring water.

That hot spring water had healing properties.

Then if they filled the water tank with goji-berry tea, wouldn’t that be insanely effective too?

Lu Ye’s expression turned odd.

He pictured a mid-battle moment where Blastoise pulled out a cup and poured Revival Root tea straight from the cannon.

"Teacher Lu, how the heck does your Blastoise know Recover?"

That move’s definitely illegal!

“Ahem!” Lu Ye coughed, muttering, “They’re healing... but my boy’s reviving from the brink… That’s gotta be his version of Aqua Ring...”

Still, even such a reliable Blastoise had its downsides.

Like how the classic Shell Smash tactic wasn’t possible for him.

Even though they’d already acquired the Mega Stone, the heavy cost of Mega Evolution meant Blastoise might not even want to try it.

Lu Ye grinned wildly.

That’s even better!

“Ka-meh…” Blastoise gave its satisfied master a glance and continued practicing Iron Defense.

“Gengar! Once you’re done goofing off, come in and eat!” Lu Ye called.

“Gengarr~ (￣▽￣)／”

Back inside the warm house, Sylveon had hopped off the treadmill and was lying on the sofa, deep in thought.

“Byii…”

Should I go challenge a Gym again today?

Could go to the Psychic Gym—but Gengar teaches there. Maybe the Fighting Gym is better...

Lu Ye picked up the long-bodied Sylveon and weighed her side to side.

“That’s odd,” he murmured. “Have I been getting stronger lately?”

“Byii! (#｀皿´)”

“No being picky,” Lu Ye suddenly scolded. “You’re so light I can lift you with one hand!”

“Byii! (｀皿´)ﾉ”

Before Sylveon could start whipping him with her ribbons,

Lu Ye bolted to find Togepi, hoping to snatch some snacks.

“Duii…” Togepi was intensely focused on its game.

“Mew~~” Mew giggled over video chat, waving its tail in greeting to Lu Ye.

“Long time no see,” Lu Ye said while crunching on chips. “You two carry on.”

Togepi instinctively reached for more chips—only to find the bag was empty.

In that instant, tears welled up in her eyes.

“Chomp-chomp Duii~˚‧º·(˚˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅)‧º·˚”

Lu Ye had already vanished.

“Messing with Togepi once in a while is kinda fun,” Lu Ye said cheerfully.

Suddenly, the ceiling trembled, and dust rained down from the walls.

Lu Ye wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and turned back to see Togepi’s fingers glowing a shimmering blue.

I get it now!

Next time I send her into battle, I’ll toss her a bag of chips—could be better than Weakness Policy!

If you mess with her chips, she might even roll Precipice Blades!

“Gengarr~ ヽ(￣▽￣)ﾉ”

Super babysitter Gengar flew back in, pulled out cucumber-flavored chips from his pocket dimension, and handed them to Togepi.

He even threw in a bottle of cola.

Instantly, Togepi stopped crying.

“Chomp-chomp Duii~~ (ﾉﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉ”

Yep, she’s easy to please…

Lu Ye smiled helplessly.

But this was just what his little ones were like.

“Gengar, grab me a bottle too!”

“Gengarr? ∑(っ°Д°;)っ”

Arcanine clutched a now-cooled Flame Orb in its mouth, playing fetch with Sirfetch’d.

Sirfetch’d suspected this wasn’t about catching the orb, but catching him.

The heat inside the Flame Orb had been completely burned up by Arcanine’s Overheat.

Lu Ye felt complicated.

As expected from a top-tier Fire-type move—one training session burns through an entire Flame Orb.

Those real experts who mastered it must’ve spent tons of time and resources, huh?

Of course, for Lu Ye’s Pokémon,

Resources were never an issue. They had more Pokéblocks and items than they could use.

Time? Well, if you took more than a day to learn something, you’d probably get judged by your teammates.

“Quack! (´థ౪థ)σ” Duck Duck was in tears.

The internal competition in this team is unreal!

If even Arcanine learned it in a day, wouldn’t Gengar pick it up in half a day or less?

I swear I just wanted to be a slacker duck!