Chapter 78
Chapter 78. Clocked Out, Picked Up a Princess
Renoir Mansion, reception room.
"Mmm mm……! What a magnificent delicacy!"
Serena watched the little squirt wolf down the Seasoned Chicken in a frenzy, not even noticing the sauce getting on her cheek.
It was already quite late.
Nortaris's Public Security was 100 times better than Soltera's, where resort staff moonlighted in human trafficking.
Even so, it was still too dangerous for a small child to be wandering around alone.
A true noble was one who showed compassion toward those beneath them and extended generosity.
Deciding this too was part of one's noble training, she had brought the lost child home for the time being.
"My goodness…… to think such a magnificent taste existed. Truly astounding, astounding indeed."
The little one looked even cuter in the light.
Cute enough that even shabby clothes couldn't conceal it all.
Mimicking the upper class in an odd manner of speech, exaggeratedly — was even endearing given her age.
Judging by appearance alone, one might think, I'd love to have a daughter like this someday……
"You there. Bring a drink as well."
But the things she did made one desperately want to flick her on the forehead.
"I already opened a Cola next to you, didn't I?"
The little squirt, who had stolen every bit of Serena's late-night snack without a single word of thanks, set down the chicken drumstick with a loud thud.
"So? Do you dare expect this person to pour it herself?"
And then she widened her eyes and began tapping the glass with her fork — clink clink — did she not?
The audacity of her manners was simply astounding, wherever she had learned them.
"Wow……. You're hopeless."
Serena had a younger brother five years her junior.
Beneath her seemingly gentle exterior ran the blood of a sister who knew how to properly discipline a cheeky little brat.
"Haaaa……"
Serena clenched her fist, warming up a flick——
— Snap!
"Mwot?!"
It grazed the little one's forehead like a bolt of lightning.
Not painfully excessive, leaving no lasting after-effects, yet of a precisely calibrated intensity that would certainly serve as discipline.
As luck would have it, with the girl's bangs parted cleanly down the middle and her forehead fully exposed, aiming had been easy.
"Wha, wha, wha……"
The girl, who had been struck on the forehead without warning, dropped her fork, eyes going wide as saucers.
Even after watching the fist blow on it, she had clearly not expected the flick even the slightest bit.
She had thought she could behave like this and not get hit. How utterly pampered had she been raised?
"Why you little——! H-h-h-h-h-how dare you lay a hand on this person……!"
The bewilderment lasted only a moment before sparks flew in the girl's eyes.
"What did you just call me. 'Little——'?"
But it wouldn't work on Serena one bit.
Having subdued even her younger brother's rebellious phase, Serena was the owner of the passive trait: Contempt for Those Younger.
"You haven't even lost all your baby fat yet, and you're going around calling your elder sister that? Kid, what's your name."
She made up her mind to give a sharp lesson while she was at it.
A commoner child who was spoiled rotten, in a plain-looking, even shabby dress, wandering around without so much as an attendant.
Serena, being a gracious and kind noble, would let it go — but pull that anywhere else and the girl could find herself in serious trouble.
She felt the need to socialize and re-educate her on this occasion.
It was absolutely not because the girl had stolen her late-night snack and then been rude about it.
"Y-you, someone like you has no right to hear this person's name."
Her tone shifted from "that——" to "you" — perhaps slightly cowed by Serena's formidable noble pressure.
"Sssip."
But the moment Serena planted her hand on her hip and bore down on her, the girl immediately showed the whites of her eyes beneath, sneaking glances.
"Lu, Lulu."
"Lulu? What a pretty name. But aren't you going to speak formally?"
"……"
Serena thought, 'You little thing, you are pretty cute though.'
No matter how brazen, at the end of the day, she was still a child.
"Do you know who this elder sister is?"
"……Why should I care."
"Your elder sister is quite a remarkable person, you know. Elder sister is a noble. A noble. Have you heard of Viscountcy? It's something the kingdom only grants to exceptional people……"
Lulu, who had been listening to Serena's lengthy lecture while chewing her lower lip resentfully, shot to her feet and cried out.
"A mere First-Generation Noble of all things! Just what on earth do you think this person is? This person is Britannia's Fifth Princess——! Gyaaah!"
— Snap!
A lightning-fast flick landed a little harder on Lulu's broad forehead.
"Heuuuuuu……. It hurts. It hurts so……."
Lulu rubbing her forehead earnestly with both hands, like a hamster grooming itself.
"This girl is going to say something that will bring disaster upon herself……!"
Meanwhile, Serena, who had just moments before been discreetly bragging about herself to the little one, had gone white as a sheet.
If falsely claiming to be a noble was a serious crime, falsely claiming to be royalty was a crime a hundred times over.
Lately the atmosphere had changed quite a bit, so it wasn't automatically treason, automatically execution the way it used to be……
But it was a recklessly dangerous thing to do — meet the wrong interrogator and one's life could take a very dynamic turn.
"Listen carefully. Don't ever go around saying things like that outside again. Understood?"
"Uuu……. This humiliation…… shall be carved into my bones……."
"You're still growing, so even if it gets carved into your bones, it'll all fade away. What do you think you're doing, glaring at me like that? Elder sister is saying all this out of concern for Lulu."
Still a defiant look in her eyes.
But the moment Serena slowly raised her fist, Lulu averted her gaze and nodded.
"……F-fine……. Stop hitting my forehead now……."
"Formal speech."
"……F-fine…… I understand……."
Serena felt proud, having won the battle against the 7-year-old.
Indeed, the words of the renowned child psychologist who said discipline required corporal punishment were correct.
"Good girl. Now finish your chicken."
Lulu, who had been puffing her cheeks out in sullen displeasure, began eating the Seasoned Chicken.
"Oh oh, how can it taste like this……! How remarkable."
Lulu, not wanting to speak formally to Serena, muttering her exclamations to herself as though talking to no one.
As the pile of bones grew, the air slowly let out of Lulu's plump cheeks little by little.
Children are naturally quick to switch emotions.
"Where are your parents? They must be worried."
"They are in the capital, Albion……."
"In Albion? Ah, so you're here on a trip. No, I mean where are they right now — Elder sister will take you to them."
Lulu's cheeks hardened instantly.
"……There is no need. This person simply stepped out briefly."
"For a child to be wandering around at this hour without a guardian, it's not called 'stepping out' — it's called running away."
"Do not treat this person like a child. In any case, this person will not be returning."
Serena was quick to read the atmosphere, and the one before her was a girl who was poor at lying.
She could tell that Lulu genuinely did not want to go back.
"In that case, it's gotten quite late anyway. Stay the night at elder sister's house."
Serena called for the head maid Martha and had her prepare a guest room for Lulu.
There were some minor incidents right up to the end — Lulu demanding to be bathed, demanding to have her clothes changed — but before Serena's blazing flicks, she became a good little girl.
In the end, Lulu brushed her own teeth and went to bed.
"Martha, could you contact the police and check if a missing child report has been filed? If there is one, please let them know she is being kept safe at Renoir Viscount Mansion and that they needn't worry."
"Yes, Miss."
Though her chicken had been stolen, she had done a good deed.
Serena fell asleep in good spirits, pleased with her rare act of charity.
***
A middle-aged man in laborer's clothing sat in a chair.
Before him, a man with an impressive beard running from sideburns to chin — a single sheet of paper placed in front of him.
"Today, my life ends here. No, perhaps from the very moment I left the palace. It may have already been over."
He muttered like a writer who had made a pact with the devil, and continued writing.
— Burst
"Sir Kaylun, what are you doing right now?"
At that moment, a woman entered the room, heated by the fervor of creation.
Tall and slender, wearing glasses and a worn-looking maid's uniform, with dark circles smudged darkly beneath her eyes.
"I was writing a will."
"Ha, I knew you'd be doing something pointless again."
"Sir Ellara, it is not pointless in the slightest. You and I are going to be hanged together regardless. People become dust when they die, but records are passed down to posterity, immortal and eternal."
Kaylun. Ellara.
The mission of the two Royal Guards was to escort Britannia's Fifth Princess 'Luiza Alcaion' on a secret civilian inspection of the North.
But both of them knew.
That this mission, called a secret civilian inspection in name, was in reality nothing more than taking the spoiled princess — who had grown restless with palace life — out for a little excursion.
So it had been a relatively easy-going mission.
The Fifth Princess was the youngest.
She had four older siblings above her.
The probability of Princess Luiza becoming queen converged on zero, and thanks to that, her position was one step removed from the palace power struggles over the throne and authority.
Assassination? Kidnapping? There was no need to worry about such dangers.
What the two of them had to do was in reality closer to being a tour guide — going around the North's famous tourist spots and enjoying some hot springs.
……Until yesterday.
The problem had occurred in Nortaris.
The previous night.
Princess Luiza had disappeared, leaving behind only a single letter reading, 'This person shall return shortly.'
The two, who had realized it too late, had combed the area frantically through the night in a panic, but the princess was nowhere to be found.
A clear mission failure.
The post of guarding the Fifth Princess was a backwater assignment far removed from career advancement — yet that didn't mean a mission failure would be treated as a light matter.
"Sir Kaylun, what about reaching out to the Nortaris nobles for help even now?"
Ellara said, sounding resigned.
There was a reason the two had not sought help from those around them and had tried to find the princess through the night on their own.
The Northern Noble Alliance, which sought strengthened autonomy, and the royal family, which sought the centralization of power, were in a subtly antagonistic relationship.
How would the Northern Alliance respond to a request from the Royal Guard to help find a missing princess?
They would raise their voices, saying: 'If the Royal Guard dispatched from the capital has come to this, how can we trust them to let the royal family interfere in Northern affairs? The affairs of the North must be handled by us.'
In that case, what might have ended as 'Princess Luiza's Tumultuous Runaway Adventure' ran the risk of blowing up into a full-blown political battle.
But what was to be done?
If anything were to happen to the princess's safety, there would be no answer from that point on.
"……Alright. It seems there is no other way."
At the end of a long sigh, just as Kaylun heaved another——
— Ring ring
A call came in.
"Yes? Yes yes. Yes, ah, thank you. Thank you."
Ellara, who had hurriedly picked up the receiver and taken the call, brightened up.
"Sir Kaylun! There was a contact with the police last night!"
"What? A missing child report filed?"
"Not quite, but……. Someone said they were keeping a child safe and asked to be contacted as soon as a missing child report came in!"
Was this what it felt like to come back from the dead.
Kaylun brightened and asked.
"Where did they say?"
***
Penelope and Jurgen headed to Renoir Mansion early in the morning.
It was because Serena had contacted them saying she had picked up a lost child.
"Ta-da, here's the little one."
"……"
"I found her last night, but no matter how much I tried to get her to tell me where to take her home, she absolutely wouldn't say?"
"……How impertinent, to lay a hand on this person's head……."
"Sssip."
"……"
A girl puffing her cheeks out to bursting, like a blowfish in full display of displeasure.
And Serena, resting her hand atop the girl's head as though she had been appointed head of discipline.
"She's really cute."
"Cute? Do you know how willful her personality is? I've disciplined her a bit. Care to see? Lulu, say hello."
"Krgh……! H-hello……."
"Lulu, say the nice thing."
"S-Serena Renoir Viscountcy is…… the most…… pr-pretty and…… smart and…… great noble in the world……."
"……What did you teach this kid?"
"Etiquette."
Lulu clenching her adorable little fists, trembling with humiliation.
Jurgen, who had been watching Lulu intently, suddenly went rigid.
"?????"
She seemed familiar — and wasn't this the Fifth Princess?
Without a doubt.
Her clothes were shabby and she had grown considerably taller since he'd last seen her, but this was certainly Princess Luiza, the royal family's little handful.
Come to think of it, her nickname was Lulu too, wasn't it?
It seemed she had been wandering around with her identity concealed, and Serena had gone and picked her up……
"Lulu, good girl. Since you've been good, let's eat Seasoned Chicken."
"Seasoned…… Chicken?"
"……Is that why you asked me to bring it packed up?"
"Yes, Lulu absolutely loves Seasoned Chicken."
The moment Penelope set down the Seasoned Chicken she had brought, Lulu's eyes lit up and she rushed over.
"Oh oh, it's truly magnificent even eating it again……. How can it taste like this……."
Watching Lulu's face light up as she indulged in the chicken, something flickered in Jurgen's mind.
The story that had been missing from CCC.
A secret card that could fill in that one missing piece.
But this alone was a little too ambiguous.
To make use of this, there needed to be something a little more decisive……
At that moment.
"Princess Luiza, Your Highness!!!"
"Your Highness!!!"
A man and woman burst through the door as though they might break it——
"Kaylun! Ellara!"
And Lulu, flinging away even the Seasoned Chicken she had been eating with sauce on her cheek, ran toward them.
"Just where on earth did you go! To come now of all times!"
"Those are rather the words we'd like to say……."
Luiza, buried in Ellara's embrace, whimpered as though she had been wronged.
Then, pointing an accusing finger at Serena, who had been watching the reunion in a daze, she cried out.
"Kaylun! Ellara! In the name of Britannia's Fifth Princess Luiza Alcaion, I command you. Arrest that pink-haired woman for treason! This is an order!"
"Pardon?"
"Did I not say it was an order! Arrest her this instant!"
Royal Guard. Princess. Runaway. The North. Seasoned Chicken. CCC.
Perfect.
This was it.
A most plausible plan came to light in Jurgen's mind.
And.
"Don't tell me she was…… actually real……? No way. No way……."
Serena was in crisis.