Chapter 74: Owe me, fuck off
Taesan’s POV
I wake up with a groan and covered in sweat.
My alpha is pacing restlessly and I just want to fucking sleep, it’s been ages since I ever had the luxury of sleeping without pills.
The shirt I have on clings to my body and with a curse, I sit up and pull it off me, throwing it to the floor with annoyance.
My leg is starting to ache these days, and standing for so long next to that omega today made it worse, I turn to the side to look at him.
But I find him missing.
Sooin is right where she should be, but Seoha isn’t, we fell asleep together with my pup in the middle.
His absence must be the reason my alpha woke us up.
"Fucking hell" I mumble and reach for my cane, I left it at my bedside, easy access and close by weapon.
Swinging my good leg to the side first, I carefully get up, feeling the pain intensify and I clench my teeth.
There is never time to feel pain, one moment of careless drawback can lead to a hundred backlash, I know that too well.
A child buried too early, an adult robbed of life, a teenager harmed.
"Dad?" Sooin calls as I hit the cane the floor accidentally, "yes, pup?" I ask and she mumbles something in her sleep, before she falls right back asleep.
I leave the room and follow the omega’s scent, only to find him in his own room. Maybe I should permanently keep him in mine.
The omega is sitting on the floor with his legs folded, his back is hunched and he is focused on what he’s sketching, he doesn’t hear me come in, so I stand at the door and...study him...appreciate him.
The skinny omega is charming in ways that are unintentionally distracting, he tucks a strand of light brown hair behind his ear, lips forming silent words as he sketches.
The guitar, that old thing, is propped up next to him on the wall and his scent is mild, having a touch of sadness.
I leave my cane against the frame of the door and observe him.
His mood turned bad after the meeting, I don’t know where he went or who he talked to, but I feel angry at myself for taking my eyes off him.
I step in and shut the door, the noise of the door clicking shut finally draws his attention, and he looks up.
"Taesan-ssi" he says in a small voice and I take two long strides, squatting in front of him and looking into his face.
Why is he so...innocent looking?
"Why aren’t you sleeping?" I ask him and he blinks slowly, "I needed to finish this..." he says, looking at the sketchbook in front of him and I shut the book.
He looks up immediately, lips parting in surprise, he wants to say something, he always says something unintentionally.
"Come to bed, it’s time to sleep" I say and he shakes his head, "I can’t sleep, my mind is worried" he says and draws his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on his knees.
I rest my hand on his head and he draws in a shaky breath, like he’s barely holding up...what the fuck happened to him when I wasn’t looking?
"Did someone hurt you?" I growl and he shakes his head, "Shin Seoha" I call his name sternly and he looks up at me with unfocused eyes.
"I want- I want to be something...I want to matter" he says, he sounds like he’s half here and half gone.
Stupid, stupid brown fucking eyes.
"Hey" I call him, bringing him back to me and he sniffles, pink nose scrunching with the action.
"Why won’t you accept me?" he asks and I almost step away from him, but I don’t want to take my hand off him, the tiger tattoo on my hand looks perfect there.
My hands are made to hold him, and he is made to be held by me.
Fuck. I’m going crazy. This thief is making me go crazy.
Why won’t I accept him? I watched my mother, an innocent man, love my father, a good man with a beast for a father.
I can never do that to anyone, no, I will never do that.
"Seoha, my mom died because of loving my dad, and my dad was a weak fuck who left his husband to protect their pup alone" I say to him, giving him enough reason to give up, but he doesn’t look like he plans to.
How can someone be soft and strong at the same time?
"I...I won’t die that way" he says, his voice is small yet sure, he has no idea what he’s talking about.
’Sannie, Sannie, hide here. Okay?’ my mother says in a panicked voice, the door is kicked down and ten masked men rush in.
They begins to fire blindly and I don’t see anything else.
And when the smoke clears, my mother’s body is on the floor with too many bullet holes on him, there are splatters of blood on me.
I crawl out of my hiding place to hold him and talk to him for hours, I beg the dead man to stay awake for me, until grandfather’s arrival.
’They thought they would end the Kangs? I am stronger!’ grandfather roars, laughing over the body of his dead son in-law.
’You are a man, stop crying and get up Taesan, they can never put off my light’ he says, all the while he’s still laughing like a maniac.
’Mom’ I whisper, too shocked to cry.
"You don’t know anything, you- fuck, you’re weaker than my mom" I say to the omega and take my hand off him, and he remains on the floor like that.
"Then make me strong, isn’t that what you’ve been doing?" he asks as he pulls himself up, reaching for me, but I don’t let him touch my bare skin.
I might fucking cave, with him, control is nothing but a myth.
"You could have broken me but you didn’t, Taesan-ssi, what are you waiting for, I already owe you!" he says loudly, chest rising and falling as he presents himself for me like this.
"Yes, you owe me, and so? You’ll pay and fuck off" I say coldly.
"No, I won’t pay. You will own me" he says and my alpha growls deep in my chest, approving, claiming, and craving.
That word: own.
A deer begging to be eaten by the tiger.
"What did you say" I ask and he drops to his knees in front of me, knees just a few inches away from his sketchbook.
"Own me" he says and grab his chin, forcing his head to stay up, forcing him to look into my eyes, so I see him slipping under.
That silent consent.
"I will destroy you" I whisper, throat thick with desire, my scent is deepening with want.
I want him, I want him more than anything I’ve ever had, the line has blurred between us, it no longer debtor and owner...it’s turning into alpha and omega.
This little thief...what is he doing to me?
"Own me, please..." he says and I pull him up and crash our lips together in a desperate kiss.