Chapter 168: I Wanted To
Meanwhile...
Emma sat in the backseat with Primo, taking him to school. Unlike most days, their cars didn’t stand out here. If anything, they blended in perfectly.
"Primo," she called, smiling at him warmly. "Be good at school, okay?"
Primo looked up at her and gave her a small nod.
Emma kept her smile as he turned to look out the window. When Lucian had left the night before, Emma had taken the opportunity to spend time with Primo without Lucian hovering. She thought that if it were just the two of them, Primo might loosen up a little.
But he was just as quiet as always.
He wouldn’t even look at her with much interest, though he would nod when needed.
"I prepared your lunch and some snacks," she said, watching him glance at her. "Eat with your friends, hmm?"
Primo looked at the sleek black lunch bag, lips pressed in a thin line. He nodded.
Emma let out a quiet breath and leaned back.
He’s my son, but I don’t even know how to talk to him, she thought, growing a little more anxious with every passing second.
She studied him, and another small sigh escaped her.
He’s just like Luka.
She smiled to herself, reasoning that it was simply because Primo barely knew her. She hadn’t been in his life, and even when she had tried to reach out, Lucian would only grow angry at her for breaking their agreement.
"Primo, is school okay?" she asked, breaking the silence that was slowly settling between them. "Are you adjusting well?"
Primo blinked and signed, [Yes.]
All he got in return was a confused look. He pressed his lips together, took out his paper pad from his bag, and wrote:
[Yes.]
"Ah..." Emma smiled, though it faltered as she looked at him.
Guilt pricked her heart as she registered the first barrier in their communication. Not that she was to blame, since she hadn’t known that Primo had stopped speaking.
She cleared her throat. "Primo, were you worried because Luka isn’t here?"
He didn’t answer, just stared at her.
"I mean, he just went home..." she trailed off and forced a smile. "That guy. He didn’t even tell me he was married."
Emma noticed Primo perk up slightly at that. It was a small reaction, but she caught it immediately. It was different from his usual stillness.
"Tell me, Primo — what is she like?" she asked. "Your dad’s wife."
Primo looked up and thought about it for a moment. Then a subtle smile formed on his face as he began writing.
[Fun.]
"She’s fun?" Emma read, studying the shift in his mood.
He nodded enthusiastically. [She is sometimes loud too.]
"Ohh..." Emma let out a soft chuckle. "Really?"
[She plays with me, and gets angry if I go easy on her. But she gets even angrier when she loses.]
Emma read what the little boy had written, then glanced at him. Her lips pressed together as a lump formed in her throat.
In the past week she had spent with Primo and Lucian, things had been mostly quiet. Not that they were completely ignoring her, but rather, she could feel how distant they were. And a few days were nowhere near enough to close that gap.
"She sounds like a lovely lady," Emma murmured as Primo looked up at her. "Why don’t you tell me more about her?"
He nodded eagerly and kept writing.
[She is a little clumsy sometimes, but very considerate.]
[She can be really warm too. She taught me how to swallow medicine without tasting it and gave me candy.]
[She also got in trouble because she spent hours in line to get a game for me.]
[We also plant together.]
As Primo wrote more about Ashley, his lips curled with quiet warmth and enjoyment. His eagerness only grew, as though this were the most delightful topic he had ever been asked about.
Emma, meanwhile, watched her son light up talking about another woman, and quietly wished he would look that way when talking about her. Her eyes softened as a bitter smile touched her lips, her heart tight.
"Do you..." she trailed off. "...also call her mom?"
That made Primo pause and look up. He could see the bitterness in Emma’s smile — not the kind born from anger, but something else he was too young to fully name.
[No.] He signed rather than write. [But I wanted to.]
Emma couldn’t read his signs, but she didn’t need to — not entirely. Even having been absent all his life, she could see it in his eyes.
The role she had once given up so happily was no longer hers to reclaim.
And somehow, Lucian’s words from the night before echoed in her mind.
Disappear from our lives. Forever.
Emma held her tongue and encouraged Primo to keep sharing more about Ashley, reading along as he wrote. He did, all the way until they pulled up at school.
But even after — even when Emma was back in the penthouse, Lucian had arranged for her — she found herself sitting on the couch, motionless.
Time passed until her alarm went off.
Emma glanced at her phone. The label read: [Primo’s Parent-Teacher Meeting.]
"Luka," she whispered, staring at the screen. "You’re really cruel, aren’t you? Just like that son of a gun we call a father."
The corners of her eyes reddened as tears began to pool. "I was so happy when you finally reached out."
Because no matter what she did — no matter how hard she tried to get his attention — Lucian had always shut her out. But now she finally understood what he had been saying all along.
This wasn’t a chance for her to reclaim her role in Primo’s life. It was a chance for her to do the right thing — to stop going to such lengths, stirring trouble just to reach her own son. This was his way of making it clear that she was no longer Primo’s mother.
In this family, she had no place. Not when her father was alive, and not now that he was gone.
"My baby," she whispered, gazing at her wallpaper — a photo of Primo. Her eyes softened as she smiled. "Was I really such a bother?"
A tear rolled down her cheek, but the smile stayed. With a quiet exhale, she made up her mind and dialed a number.
*****
Meanwhile, after a full day of scouting buildings, Lucian and Ashley were finally on their way to his planned destination. It had taken longer than expected, but with Lucian’s help, Ashley had found a space that ticked every box on her list.
"By the way, today is Primo’s parent-teacher meeting," she mentioned from the passenger seat. "Aren’t you going?"
"Emma will go."
"Oh." She nodded and settled back, turning it over in her mind.
She might deny it, but after hearing Emma’s intention to "fix" this family, her feelings about the woman had become complicated. So hearing her name still stirred something unpleasant in her chest.
Then Lucian’s phone vibrated. Ashley noticed, watching as he pulled it out and frowned the moment he saw the screen. He answered without a word.
Ashley leaned in slightly out of curiosity, then raised her brows as Lucian suddenly pulled over.
"Emma," he said, the quiet danger in his voice and eyes reminding Ashley exactly who this man was.
His jaw tightened as he drew a slow breath. Then he hung up and turned to her.
"What?" she asked, her heart jumping on instinct. "Did something happen?"
"She said..." he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck as though fighting to keep his irritation in check. When his eyes finally met hers, he exhaled.
"She can’t make it to the parents’ meeting."