Chapter 157: With Me
"Lucian, I didn’t think much of it when you told me. But if she came here to fix your family and not just for Primo’s sake... where do I stand?"
Silence hung in the air as Ashley and Lucian stared at each other. Her question was clear, but the way his brows creased told her he didn’t understand it the way she hoped he did.
Ashley cleared her throat and nodded. She pushed herself from the wall, facing him squarely.
"Just answer me when you have given thought to it," she said with a small smile. "I’ll head in."
With that, she took a step to the side and walked past him. As she neared the front door, her steps halted when his voice reached her ears.
"With me," he whispered.
Ashley looked back at him, catching him already looking in her direction. He repeated,
"You will stand with me."
With him?
Her brows creased briefly before a dry laugh escaped her. Like being his mistress? Even though legally, she was the wife, Lucian was Lucian. He could divorce her anytime and still keep her by his side for as long as he wanted.
"Why?" she asked, her voice lower. "Is it because I’m the daughter of a prostitute?"
"No —"
"I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that," she cut him off calmly. "Tell me where I would stand in this family you’re trying to fix when you’ve given it more thought."
Ashley resumed her steps, only to stop after a few. Her eyes fell on her feet for a second before she glanced over her shoulder.
"Lucian, think about it carefully — I meant it," she added, her voice still calm, but carrying unbending determination. "I might have failed all this time, but the next time, I won’t... even if I have to hurt people again."
And then she resumed her steps and went back in.
As soon as she went in, her voice changed to a lively one.
"Primo~ how was school?"
Lucian, on the other hand, kept standing in the same spot. He stared at the entrance, utterly confused. She hadn’t raised her voice or glared at him openly like usual, but he felt how upset she was.
"I thought she’d be relieved," he whispered, sighing faintly.
*****
"Primo." Ashley tucked Primo into bed, sitting on the edge.
Her smile remained as she studied the little boy’s face. "How is it meeting your mom, hmm? What do you think of her?"
"..." Primo pressed his lips into a thin line, just looking at her.
"She seems like a really nice lady, doesn’t she?" she said, chuckling as she stroked his hair. "Primo, you should give her a chance."
His brows rose slightly as her eyes squinted a little.
"I’m sure if you do, you’re going to like her," she added.
[Do you like her?]
Ashley blinked as she read his fingers signing. "Well, I just think she’s a pretty nice lady and that she really... cares about you."
"But you don’t have to force it!" She smacked her lips, pinching his cheek. "Take your time. But for now, you should sleep, okay?"
Primo pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded.
And, like usual, Ashley stayed with him until he fell asleep. But this time, she stayed in his room even after he was already sleeping soundly.
Her eyes remained on his innocent face, smiling subtly.
Though there was an ache in her heart, she was also trying to understand the importance of a mother. Emma was Primo’s biological mother, and from her brief interaction with the woman, Ashley could tell that Emma was sincere.
Emma might have mistaken Ashley for a maid, but the latter could clearly see it was unintentional.
"And Lucian will not allow her back in if he truly thinks she is just scheming something," she whispered, studying Primo with a subtle smile. She stroked his hair with her fingertips, eyes softening.
Ashley stayed a little longer before she secured his blanket and went back to the bedroom. As soon as she did, she found Lucian was not there.
"Good thing he hasn’t come back," she whispered, heading to the small bathroom connected to their bedroom to have a shower.
Under the stream of hot water pouring over her, Ashley hung her head low.
"I shouldn’t have lashed out at him like that," she muttered, thinking of how she’d confronted Lucian. "I just... why did I even get so worked up when I heard her say she’s going to fix this family?"
Deep in her heart, she had been hopeful that Lucian would tell her no. It was why she stayed when she heard Emma’s voice at the front door. She stayed, thinking that if she didn’t, she might end up misunderstanding things.
But he didn’t say anything.
And from what she knew, silence was sometimes more honest and brutal than a clear answer.
"Where do I stand?" she wondered to herself, laughing bitterly. "Why would I even ask that when I already know the answer?"
She tried to smile and tell herself it was all right. That she had been through this before, and it was not the first time she’d felt excluded by people.
This was not the first family that had excluded her.
Not just the Di Carpio family — she would get excluded even within her team during missions. Dominion never truly saw her as one of them. If anything, everyone here — perhaps except Nolan — was simply waiting for her to make a mistake so they could tear her apart piece by piece.
Another weak laugh escaped her. She ran her hands through her hair, shaking her head and ruffling it, trying to drown her thoughts as she stood under the showerhead.
*****
One hour later, Lucian finally returned to their bedroom.
He stopped by the door, eyes falling on the bed. Ashley was already lying on her side, her back turned toward him. He let out a deep exhale and sat on the edge of the bed, his back to her.
"She will not come in here anymore," he said quietly. "If she wants to see Primo, I’ll take him to the city."
He looked back, but nothing.
Ashley didn’t react, didn’t move, didn’t answer. He reached out toward her shoulder, wanting to say they could just talk a little. But she spoke mid-reach, making his hand pause.
"Sorry," came her quiet voice. "What I said earlier... forget about it."
Ashley had her eyes closed before they slowly cracked open. "It’s for Primo... and I’m glad he got to meet his mom. I mean that."
Lucian gulped as he withdrew his hand. "Is that so?"
All he heard was a quiet hum before silence reigned in the room. Ashley lay like that, on her side, eyes closed. As for Lucian, he joined her in bed, staring at her small back.
Just one night ago, even when she went crazy and fled from him, Lucian had felt like her heart was closer. But now, even with her right beside him, it felt like the bed was wider and colder.
"Tell me," he whispered, eyes on her back. "Otherwise, how would I understand?"
He waited, but it was too late — she had already drifted to sleep.