Thirstfall - Memory of a Returnee

Veric had already passed Rhayne when I called his name.

He doesn't stop.

He keeps walking toward the Goddess with Undertow tucked under the arm he has left, still adjusting every step to the weight missing from one side of his body. The empty sleeve moves against his waist, and that alone tells me I should stop what's about to happen.

"Veric—"

"I know what to do. Don't get in my way."

The voice comes out low and heavy, with no room for argument.

I stop.

Maybe pushing him right now would only make him close his ears further. Veric just watched two people hand over real pieces of their own lives and receive exactly what they came for. To someone who lost an arm a few minutes ago, that statue must look less like a ritual and more like the first door that has opened since the laser went through Undertow.

He reaches the basin and has to use his leg to prop the shield while he balances the weight with his one hand. Undertow is large even for someone whole. With one arm, setting it in front of the Goddess takes an effort that's strange to watch. When he finally gets it down onto the stone, the hole the laser opened faces upward.

Veric kneels.

He looks at the shield for a few seconds and breathes in deep, trying to control the tension climbing through his face. His eyes are already wet when he lifts his head to the six-armed figure.

"I am Veric Azurea."

His voice falters a little on the family name. He breathes again before continuing.

"I offer you my reliquary in exchange for your providence. Let the toll of my anguish be paid."

The light appears between the Goddess's hands.

The stream forms slowly, and this time the first detail that shows up is a sky I don't recognize. The image comes from Veric's eyes, lower back then, and it shows an open region of pale rock and short vegetation, clearly a Rank D area.

Garen is walking a few yards ahead.

He looks younger than the last time I saw him, though he carries the same posture of someone used to having a room adjust to his presence. There's no court, no retinue, no soldiers in this memory. Just a father and a son, walking through a hunting zone that would be insignificant to someone like Garen Azurea.

Veric's voice comes into the memory, younger and less controlled.

"I read that the Spined Crawlers here always attack in threes. If we find one alone, it means the other two are—"

Garen raises a hand.

The young Veric stops mid-sentence.

Something moves between the rocks.

It isn't a Spined Crawler.

An enormous creature comes up out of the drop-off a few yards ahead, long and low, black plates covering its back and a jaw that opens sideways. The pressure that comes with it doesn't match this region at all.

Garen takes a step forward.

"Stay behind me."

"Dad, that's—"

"Rank B."

The answer comes calmly.

Veric obeys.

The fight doesn't last long.

Garen doesn't need to prove anything to his son. One movement is enough to break the creature's charge. The second goes through the Beast's natural defense and puts it down against the rocks. The impact opens a crack in the ground, and the uneven body goes still almost immediately.

The memory doesn't stay on the death.

It jumps to what came after.

Something is shining among the monster's remains.

Garen crouches, pulls a large shield out of the loot, and runs a hand over the newly formed surface. Undertow looks different without marks, without scratches, without the hole that now runs through its center.

The young Veric is staring like he forgot to breathe.

"That's for me?"

Garen lets out a small smile.

"You found the irregular first."

"But you killed it."

"And you'll learn early that Thirstfall doesn't care much who did which part of the work."

He lifts Undertow and puts the shield into his son's hands. Veric almost loses his balance when the weight arrives, which pulls a short laugh out of Garen.

"A shield doesn't exist only to protect the person holding it."

Veric settles his arms behind the piece and looks at his father.

Garen comes closer, corrects the position of the shield against his forearm, and taps the rim twice.

"Someday you'll have to decide what can't get past you. When that day comes, don't think about yourself first."

The boy goes serious.

"And if I can't hold it?"

Garen looks at him for a moment, as though that's a better question than he expected.

"Then make the blow pay for every inch."

Veric smiles.

So does Garen.

Then he runs a hand through his son's hair and pushes his head lightly.

"It suits you."

The memory moves ahead into small fragments of the way back. Undertow takes up almost half of Veric's field of view while he carries the shield proudly, and Garen walks a little ahead, slowing his pace whenever his son falls behind.

There's nothing grand about it.

Maybe that's exactly why it weighs so much.

The stream starts losing definition.

Veric looks down at the real Undertow in front of him. His fingers run along the edge of the hole the laser opened, and his breathing goes heavy again.

"Even if we didn't get many moments together, Dad…"

He swallows.

"Forgive me."

The image ends.

The silence that stays afterward feels right.

I've known Undertow long enough to know Veric isn't trying to fool the Goddess with an expensive relic. That thing carries his father, the first hunt, his arrival in Thirstfall, and one of the few memories he has of Garen as something other than a distant figure.

Even damaged, that shield is worth far more to him than any auction could calculate.

Come on, Veric. Don't be an idiot.

Think about the Pearl.

That's all it takes.

The Goddess stays still.

Too long.

I feel it go wrong before the voice even comes.

"Your reliquary has weight."

Veric lifts his eyes.

"But against the providence you claim, it has become light."

The color leaves his face.

"The toll of your anguish has not been paid."

Undertow stays inside the basin.

Nothing disappears.

Nothing takes its place.

Veric stands there for a moment, as if he didn't understand the language the statue just used. Then he looks at the shield, at the missing arm, and back at the Goddess.

"No…"

The word comes out almost without voice.

He leans forward.

"No, no, no… why?"

No answer.

Veric takes hold of Undertow and tries to push it further into the basin.

"This is the most valuable thing I have. You just saw it."

His breathing starts to accelerate.

"Take it. Go on. I'm offering."

He says his own name again and tries to repeat the phrase.

A red window opens in front of my eyes before he can finish.

From the movement around me, everyone got the same thing.

[WARNING] [Only one petition may be presented by each supplicant.] [VERIC AZUREA — PROVIDENCE DENIED] [Reentry available in: 90 days.]

Veric stares at the message.

"No…"

This time his voice breaks.

"It can't be."

He tries to touch the basin again, but no light answers.

"Ninety days? I don't have ninety days for this!"

Undertow slips out of his hand and hits the floor.

"Shit! What kind of rule is that?!"

The Goddess stays serene.

One petition per person.

Accepted or refused.

That's exactly why almost nobody knows the whole truth about this room. Knowing that the Ferryman's Toll gives out Reentry Pearls doesn't mean knowing how to get one. A person can get through the puzzles, survive the guardian, reach the Goddess, and still walk out with nothing if they don't understand the weight of their own offering.

I look at Veric and finally understand the mistake.

He wasn't thinking about a Reentry Pearl.

Not after what happened.

The arm is the first thing he sees when he closes his eyes, and probably the only thing he could want when he set Undertow in front of the statue.

The shield may be the most precious thing he owns.

The arm is the thing he most wants back.

The Goddess compared the two.

And Undertow lost.

I go to him before he can argue with a statue a third time.

Veric is still on his knees, staring at the floor with an empty expression. I pick up Undertow first, then get an arm around him.

"I've got you, buddy."

He doesn't answer.

I help him to his feet and feel his weight drop against me for a few seconds before he finds his own balance. There's no anger left in his face. Just that strange emptiness of someone who watched a way out close in the instant he tried to walk through it.

We leave the front of the Goddess together.

Rhayne passes us as we reach the group.

She glances at Veric sideways, not able to hide what's on her face, and keeps walking.

"Rhayne."

She stops.

"Did you understand what I explained to Zhang?"

Rhayne nods.

"I understood."

"Then think about the Pearl."

She starts walking again.

I watch her reach the Goddess, expecting her to bring out some reliquary I don't know about.

Rhayne raises a hand to one of her ears.

My chest goes tight.

She takes off one of the earrings.

The same pair I bought for her.

Before I can process the choice, her other hand goes to a small pouch and pulls out a Shard.

A single Shard.

I frown.

Only one reliquary is supposed to be offered.

Rhayne just confirmed she understood the instructions.

Even so, she puts both objects into the basin.

"Rhayne…"

She doesn't look at me.

"I am Rhayne."

Her voice is low, but steady.

"I offer you my reliquary in exchange for your providence. Let the toll of my anguish be paid."

The stream opens.

My own face appears.

It takes me a second to understand what I'm seeing, because that memory doesn't belong to me, even though I recognize it.

It's her view.

I'm standing in front of Rhayne, next to Veric and Lola, right at the beginning of everything, before there were any bonds or feelings built between us. I watch myself crouch and set a Shard on the ground near her.

The girl in that memory watches every movement.

"You look hungry."

I smile.

"My name is Dryden, and I'm recruiting."

The fragment doesn't last long.

But now I understand the Shard.

She kept it from that day. Maybe for her it was a sign of a fresh start, or of redemption.

'What am I to you, Rhayne?'

The stream changes.

The new image hits me differently.

It's the day of the earrings.

I remember that walk, the shops, and the things I said, but seeing them through Rhayne's eyes transforms details that disappeared for me in the middle of so many other memories.

My face takes up most of her view.

I turn to say something and I smile.

Her perspective stays on me a few seconds longer than necessary before following the rest of the street. When I point at something in a window, she looks at my expression first and only then at the object.

I didn't remember smiling that much that day.

Maybe because I'd never seen my own face while I did it.

We reach the purchase.

I hand over the earrings.

Rhayne's hands take them with a care that's absurd for two small pieces. When she puts the first one in her ear and lifts her eyes to me, the memory itself changes.

The colors get more vivid.

The light in the street takes on warmth, and the sounds around her pull back, as if her attention chose what deserved to keep existing.

A heartbeat starts up underneath all of it.

Quiet at first.

Then faster when I lean in to see how the earring looks.

Rhayne's vision blurs for an instant.

She blinks.

I turn toward something outside the frame.

A hand appears quickly in front of her eyes, wiping away the wetness before I look back.

We keep walking.

At some point I stop a few steps ahead to look at a stall. Rhayne quietly takes the earring out, turns her face slightly, and, believing nobody is watching, presses her lips to it.

A short kiss.

Almost childlike in how pure it is, and then she puts it back on.

I stand there watching the memory.

Freya lets out a breath beside me, low, almost a whistle, but she doesn't say anything.

The stream disappears.

Rhayne is in front of the Goddess again.

Her cheeks have taken on color.

The rest of her face doesn't match.

She looks at the earring and the Shard inside the basin, then drops to her knees.

Her fingers lace together in front of her chest as she bows. She doesn't look like someone waiting for a reward.

She looks like someone asking.

The next few seconds drag.

Then the voice comes.

"Your reliquary has weight."

The Shard starts losing its shape.

So does the earring.

My jaw locks.

"Your providence will be granted."

I let the air out through my mouth.

I'm furious.

I already knew no Pearl was going to appear in that basin.

I had a plan, and she didn't need to get involved.

Both offerings disappear completely, and the stone stays empty.

Then the Goddess's six arms start to glow.

Small fragments of energy leave the statue's hands and float through the hall. At first there are dozens. Within seconds, hundreds of points of light fill the space like fireflies suspended in the white glow.

All of them change direction at the same time.

Veric.

He lifts his head.

"What…?"

The first light enters the amputated shoulder.

Then another.

And another.

The particles start gathering in the empty space beside his body, drawing a thin structure of energy first. The outline of the humerus appears from the shoulder, followed by the joints, the radius, the ulna, and the small bones of the hand. Vessels spread around them in bright lines, nerves appear as almost transparent filaments, and muscle starts filling the spaces.

Veric can't look away.

The light takes on volume.

Skin forms last, covering everything until the energy disappears under a completely rebuilt arm.

There's no seam.

There's no join.

There's nothing that looks like a homunculus limb.

It's his arm.

Even the small scars came back.

Veric raises the hand in front of his face.

He opens the fingers.

Closes them.

He turns the wrist, touches his thumb to each of the other fingertips, and then squeezes his own forearm with the opposite hand as if he needs to confirm that he can feel it.

His eyes go wide.

Then he finds Rhayne.

She's still kneeling in front of the statue.

Veric doesn't say anything.

Neither do I.

I cross the space between us and stop near him. I lean in until I'm sure only he can hear.

"Earn it."

Veric looks at me.

I keep my voice low.

"If she gave something to the Goddess to get your arm back, it means what she put in that basin was worth more to her than a limb of yours."

His eyes go straight back to Rhayne.

I leave him to deal with that.

I walk past him and start toward the Goddess.

I already had a plan before Rhayne decided to destroy her own petition.

Now I'll have to use it a different way.