Chapter 4
In the alley, the rain was still falling, but that outrageously thunderous noise had already faded into the distance.
Lu Li didn't know how long she had been huddled in the corner of the wall, her body trembling beyond her control—that was the kind of hollow exhaustion that only came after the adrenaline drained away, after pushing the body far past what it could bear.
Maybe a few minutes, or maybe more than ten... time always grew fuzzy in moments like this, as if it had been soaked soft by the rain, dragging along in a sticky, sluggish mess.
When the rain had eased a little.
She tried to move her fingers. They moved.
She tried to make a fist. That worked too. Only her entire body felt as if the bones had been pulled out of it, limp and unable to summon any strength.
"Cough..."
Her throat was still hoarse and dry, but it was no longer completely unable to produce sound the way it had been just now.
Good.
Lu Li buried her face in her knees and let out a long, slow breath.
Then she opened her mouth and tried to say something.
"...So."
A faint, feeble breath of a voice squeezed out of her throat—a strange, overly soft and airy female voice.
"I've turned into a monster just to save a five-yuan delivery fee? Went out to buy a cake, and came back as this?"
She spoke to the pitch-dark air, the corners of her mouth twisting into a smile that looked worse than crying.
The moment the words left her mouth, that suffocating weight pressing down on her chest seemed to loosen just slightly—at least it proved her mind hadn't completely broken down yet.
Lu Li took a deep breath and pressed against the wall, trying to stand.
Her legs were still shaking, her knees as soft as water-logged clay, and it took considerable effort before she managed to wobble upright.
‘The feeling right now is strange... like a truck driver who had always been used to steering a heavy rig, suddenly shoved into a compact sedan.’
‘The field of vision, the sense of touch, every other sensation in the body... none of it felt right.’
Then a gust of cold wind rushed in.
"Achoo—"
The sneeze hit without warning, jolting her whole body in one sharp shudder.
Something at her chest swayed with it—just once, just a little.
Not a large movement, but enough for Lu Li to feel, with unmistakable clarity, that unfamiliar weight, and the drag of her wet shirt against her skin as it was pulled along.
"......"
Lu Li froze for a moment.
'Alright, that physical feedback was very convincing. Appreciated. Not needed.'
She delivered the line in her head in a flat, deadpan tone, then quickly wrapped her arms around her chest and pulled the oversized, soaked shirt tight. The fabric was ice-cold against her skin, pressing down in an uncomfortable, constricting way.
But at least... it was held in place. And besides, now was not the time to dwell on something like this.
Lu Li leaned back against the wall and tilted her head up at the dull grey night sky, trying to calm herself down.
Alright. Take stock.
1st: she had turned into a girl. Already confirmed. No desire to confirm it a 2nd time.
2nd: that woman in black who had mentioned "Calamity" and "Night Wanderer Society"—she hadn't understood any of it, but it was obvious she had been categorized as something that needed to be "eliminated."
3rd: her body had moved on its own, but not under her own control—something instinctive had been driving it. The sensation was deeply unsettling...
4th: that image that had flashed through her mind—boundless darkness, and something slumbering within it...
Stop thinking about it.
The more she thought, the worse her head hurt.
'Forget it. Can't figure it out.'
Lu Li closed her eyes and forced herself to shove those questions into some back corner of her mind for now.
Go home first. Lu Qi was still waiting.
****
Wait.
Go home?
Like this?
Lu Li looked down at herself—bare feet caked in mud, wearing a tattered men's shirt, silver-white hair wet and tangled across her collarbone, and a face she didn't even know the state of anymore.
How was she supposed to explain this?
'Hey Lu Qi, I know this doesn't look like it, but when I went out to buy that cake earlier... I got into a life-and-death duel on the way back and happened to swap bodies while I was at it?'
Was she joking.
She'd get sent to a psychiatric ward. Absolutely she would.
****
Just then, footsteps echoed from the mouth of the alley.
"Tap, tap, tap..."
Soft, landing in the shallow puddles, unhurried.
Lu Li tensed all over, instinctively pressing herself back into the corner of the wall.
Was it the woman with the blade coming after her? Or some other kind of creature?
But... it wasn't the same sound as before—not that crushing, boot-on-water smash.
These footsteps were lighter, more hurried, like someone searching for something.
She fixed her gaze on the corner at the mouth of the alley and dug her fingers into the gap in the wall.
Then—a clear plastic umbrella appeared around the corner.
The kind found in any convenience store. Ten yuan a piece.
Beneath it was a girl in house clothes, holding up a phone with a faint beam of light, looking around in every direction.
It was Lu Qi.
Why was she here?
Lu Li instinctively tried to hide, but her body had nothing left to give—the movement made it only halfway before stopping.
And then—
The light from the phone swept over, landing on her face.
Lu Qi froze.
No, that wasn't right—when Lu Li looked back on this moment later, she realized that wasn't what it was.
That was, for just an instant, the briefest and most fleeting of... relief.
Like something waited on for a long time had finally arrived.
'It's over.'
'She's seen me.'
The 2 of them stared at each other across a few meters of distance. Raindrops fell from the rim of the umbrella, weaving a hazy curtain between them.
Lu Li watched Lu Qi's gaze travel from her face down to her body.
It paused for a moment on the soaked, torn shirt.
The style of that collar—she recognized it.
'What do I do... run? Or...'
Quickly, the beam of light shifted, no longer aimed directly into Lu Li's eyes, but sweeping downward instead.
Lu Qi came to a stop two steps in front of her.
Then her gaze continued down, settling on the cake box Lu Li was clutching to her chest.
Lu Qi's expression shifted. Those eyes of hers—always like a fawn's, always soft and glistening—were, at this moment, calm to the point of being unsettling.
After a few seconds of silence, she put her phone away and walked slowly forward.
Lu Li felt a wave of breathless tension, her throat tightening, almost unable to stop herself from opening her mouth to explain.
But Lu Qi didn't ask anything.
Lu Qi's lashes fluttered, and she let out a quiet sigh. She stepped forward, her footsteps coming to a stop in front of Lu Li, and then crouched down.
The umbrella tilted toward her, covering the top of Lu Li's head, sheltering her from the drizzle still falling around them.
They were very close now, looking at each other. Close enough for Lu Li to make out the expression in Lu Qi's eyes—worry, confusion, and something more layered beneath it all, something she couldn't quite read.
At the very least, there was none of the shocked horror of "seeing a monster" that she had been bracing for.
"You..." Lu Qi finally spoke, her voice low and careful, as if afraid of startling something. "You look a lot like my brother."
The words sounded like a statement, and also like a question, and perhaps they were simply an excuse—something to offer them both a way out.
Lu Li's throat tightened. She wanted to say something but had no idea where to begin.
Deny it? Admit it? Explain?
Every option felt absurd and powerless.
The silence stretched out beneath the sound of rain.
She opened her mouth. A thousand things jammed together in her throat. In the end, only a single flat syllable made it out.
"...Mm."
That was the whole of what she could manage.
Then Lu Qi stood up, reached out, and took hold of Lu Li's ice-cold arm.
"Let's go home. It's cold out here."
She said it like that—as calm as if she were commenting that the weather was rather nice today.
Lu Qi stood and pulled the girl who had been slumped against the wall to her feet, the motion as natural as the countless times Lu Li had gone to pick her up from school—except now their positions were reversed.
****
When Lu Li was pulled upright, her mind was still a muddled mess.
Lu Qi steadied her by the arm, the grip not forceful but firm. The 2 of them shared the umbrella as they walked toward the mouth of the alley.
The walk home was not long.
But neither of them said a word.
Lu Li stumbled along, most of her weight leaning unavoidably against Lu Qi. The clear plastic umbrella was small, and their shoulders pressed close together, the familiar scent of Lu Qi's body wash drifting around them.
That ordinary, everyday scent gave Lu Li—who had just crossed the boundary between life and death—a deeply surreal feeling.
Lu Li quietly turned her head and glanced at her sister walking beside her. One thought kept turning over and over in her mind—
The way she had looked at the shirt.
The way she had looked at the cake box.
Had she recognized her?
Or did she just find it strange?
She didn't know how to bring it up. Explain what? Where to even start?
It was too absurd. Even she didn't believe it herself.
But the cake was still in her arms.
The box was wet and a little warped, but the inside should still be intact.
The streetlights bloomed into blurry halos of yellow in the rain and mist, lighting up 2 silent silhouettes moving one after the other in the direction of home.
"We're here."
Lu Qi stopped.
The old residential building stood in the rainy haze, a dim yellow light glowing from the window on the 5th floor—the living room light they had forgotten to turn off.
Lu Li looked up at that light, and suddenly felt a warmth pressing at the corners of her eyes.
No matter what she had become.
As long as she could still come back here—then this... utterly terrible night wasn't quite so bad after all.
Lu Li followed Lu Qi into the entrance of the building, and didn't notice—
The streetlight behind them flickered twice.
In the darkness, something seemed to be watching them from far away.