The Side Character Wants to Lie Flat

Hua Manman’s eyes widened in disbelief. "You actually cursed at me?"

Lin Qingzhi ground her teeth and retorted, "So you’re allowed to play me for a fool, but I’m not allowed to curse at you?"

Hua Manman said, sounding wronged, "When did I ever play you for a fool? Didn’t I share the fish tail and head with you?"

Lin Qingzhi: "..."

’It would have been better if she hadn’t mentioned the fish tail and head.’

’The mere mention of it made her even more furious!’

’That little beast hadn’t actually wanted to share food with her at all. She’d simply tossed her the unwanted scraps.’

’What did that little beast take her for? A garbage can?!’

’The more she thought about backing down, the angrier she became. The longer she endured it, the more she felt she was losing out.’

Lin Qingzhi simply couldn’t take it anymore!

Fortunately, she had prepared two plans. If trickery failed, she would resort to force.

Lin Qingzhi slammed the fish head and tail onto the floor, shot to her feet, and screamed, her face twisted with rage.

"Men!"

Immediately, two burly eunuchs rushed in.

Following Lin Liangyuan’s orders, they burst through the door and lunged menacingly toward Hua Manman.

To prevent Hua Manman from escaping, Lin Qingzhi quickly grabbed her arm.

’Lin Qingzhi had made up her mind. Tonight, she would torture this little beast until she begged for death!’

But in the next moment,

she saw Hua Manman snatch up a nearby fire poker and, in two swift moves, knock both eunuchs to the ground.

Lin Qingzhi wanted to scream.

AAAAAH!

’How did she not know Hua Manman knew martial arts?’

’Why hadn’t anyone told her something so important?!’

Hua Manman turned to Lin Qingzhi and asked in confusion.

"Why did you call these two in? Do you want to fight me?"

Lin Qingzhi looked at the two eunuchs, beaten black and blue and unable to even crawl up, and was terrified.

She explained haltingly.

"I... I just saw you sitting here, looking bored. I thought I’d call a couple of people in to give you a shoulder and back massage."

"Oh, so that’s what this was," Hua Manman said, as if in realization. "You should have just said so. They looked so ferocious, I thought they were here to kidnap me."

She smiled at the two trembling eunuchs.

"My mistake. I’m sorry."

Neither of them dared to say a single word.

They had, in fact, come to kidnap Lady Hua, but they never expected her fighting skills to be so formidable.

Though they were both big and burly, they were all for show. They had never formally trained in martial arts, so against a real fighter, all they could do was take a beating.

Hua Manman said, "Since it was all a misunderstanding, you can get up now."

The two eunuchs scrambled to their feet.

Their bodies ached all over, and their eyes were filled with terror as they looked at Lady Hua.

They looked like two small, helpless, and pitiful quails.

Hua Manman gave them a friendly smile.

"Well, since you’re already here, you can’t just do nothing, can you?

How about this? You two can cook a few dishes to be sent to the Crown Prince as a late-night snack.

If the Crown Prince asks, just say Lin Liangyuan told you to make it."

She even gave Lin Qingzhi a pointed wink.

"See how good I am to you? Even now, I’m thinking of helping you earn brownie points with the Crown Prince."

Furious but not daring to show it, Lin Qingzhi forced a smile. "Well, I really must thank you then."

Hua Manman said generously.

"What’s the need for thanks between us?

If you really want to thank me, you can give me a shoulder and back massage. I’ve been so busy all night, my arms and legs are aching."

Lin Qingzhi glared.

’Busy with what?’

’I did all the work! I’m the one who should be complaining about being tired!’

Hua Manman brandished the fire poker in her hand and asked lazily.

"Why are you just standing there? Do you want me to teach you how to give a massage?

I wouldn’t mind giving you a personal demonstration, but I’m afraid your delicate frame couldn’t handle my strength.

If I accidentally used too much force and snapped your little arm, I couldn’t be held responsible, you know."

’Lin Qingzhi got the message. This was a threat! A blatant threat!’

’But she couldn’t win in a fight, so she had no choice but to swallow this humiliation.’

With heavy steps, Lin Qingzhi walked over and began to massage Hua Manman’s shoulders and back, resigned to her fate.

Hua Manman leaned back contentedly, not forgetting to add a reminder.

"Your left hand is injured. Make sure you don’t use it to massage me."

Lin Qingzhi thought Hua Manman was actually concerned for her. ’Maybe that little beast has a shred of humanity left after all,’ she thought, preparing to play the victim to milk some sympathy out of her.

But then she heard the little beast say shamelessly.

"If you get blood on my clothes, wouldn’t they get dirty?"

Lin Qingzhi: "..."

’She was wrong.’

’She never should have held out even a sliver of hope for this little beast!’

Hua Manman’s gaze swept over to the two eunuchs standing at the side. She frowned.

"What are you two standing around for? Get to work!"

Ignoring their own injuries, the two men scrambled to prepare the ingredients and start cooking.

Hua Manman was like a foreman, kicking her feet up to enjoy the free massage from Lin Qingzhi while ordering the two eunuchs around.

"Don’t wash the vegetables. It’s a waste of time and water. Just toss them in the pot."

"Not enough salt. Add more. What’s that? It’ll be too salty? It’s fine. The Crown Prince likes strong flavors."

"More chili peppers, too. More! Ugh, this is too much trouble. Just dump the whole jar in."

"Is that vinegar or soy sauce? Ah, whatever. Just pour it all in."

...

After a round of Hua Manman’s "careful guidance," the resulting two dishes were the epitome of culinary disasters.

A single glance was enough to inspire dread.

Hua Manman said to Lin Qingzhi.

"Have a bite. See if it’s any good."

’I’m not blind,’ Lin Qingzhi thought. ’This stuff is so disgusting it’s nauseating just to look at it. How could it possibly taste good?!’

But that little beast, Hua Manman, picked up the fire poker again, glaring at her menacingly, as if ready to crack her skull open if she dared to refuse.

Forced by her tyranny, Lin Qingzhi could only extend a trembling pair of chopsticks, pick up a piece of the pitch-black "food," and put it in her mouth.

She chewed for a long time but couldn’t break it down.

A bad feeling crept into her heart. She quickly spat the morsel out and examined it under the light of the oil lamp, only to discover it was a scrap of cloth.

Judging by its color and texture, it was identical to the ancient, filthy rag from the stove.

Who knew how many years that rag had sat on the stove, or how much filth it had wiped up. It looked grimy and wrinkled and gave off a bizarre odor.

Lin Qingzhi: "..."

Lin Qingzhi couldn’t hold it in any longer. She ran to the doorway, bent over, and with a great heave, threw up.

Hua Manman, however, was overjoyed.

"Why did Lin Liangyuan suddenly throw up? Could this be the legendary morning sickness?"

She immediately said to the two eunuchs.

"Hurry back and report to the Crown Prince! Tell him Lin Liangyuan is pregnant! He’s going to be a daddy!"

...

This is a new book, so I need everyone’s votes and comments for support. Good morning, mwah!~