Chapter 360
After spending two consecutive days with Nell and Amina, I knew rumors would spread, one or two at least.
Hanging out with girls.
Given my child's body, it might not seem like a problem, but if I were an adult, I might be getting looks of scorn.
Even so, driven by the feeling that I should be fair and interact with everyone, I approached the next person, but...
"Lord Liberta, how does this feel?""Yeah, feels good.""I'm glad to hear that."
I was currently being served by the person I approached, Ingrid, with a lap pillow and an ear cleaning in progress.
"They are well-maintained, so there isn't much dirt.""Yeah, well, I guess?""Now, I will move on to an ear massage."
This is weird. Why am I resting my head on Ingrid's soft lap, facing towards her stomach, and being diligently served like this?
Let me recall the conversation from a little while ago.
'Is there something you would like to do together, perhaps?''That's right. You always take care of me with meals, cleaning, and daily necessities, Ingrid. I was thinking I'd like to repay you somehow.''I see. So the opportunity to have an exchange with Lord Liberta, as I've heard in rumors, has come around to me as well.''Eh? It's become a rumor?'
I woke up, did some light exercise, then went to Ingrid, who was preparing breakfast, and stated my business.
'Yes. It is said you enjoyed horse riding with Lady Nell, and made Lady Amina look very beautiful.''Yeah, that story itself is ordinary, but I feel like there's some implication...''Indeed. Among the ladies, there is talk about whether Lady Nell or Lady Amina will become the first wife.''Huh... Isn't that jumping the gun a bit too much? That's beyond just adding embellishments.'
So, the stories from the day before yesterday and yesterday had evolved into something outrageous.
'Is that not the case?''......Well, it's not exactly wrong? What's going on?'
But if asked if it was off the mark, it wasn't entirely.I *am* seriously considering the affection from Nell and Amina.In this world, does dating flow directly into marriage?
'I understand. In that case, let us have a leisurely chat while keeping that point in mind. That is my wish.''Eh, is that really enough?''Yes.'
She said she wanted to have that kind of casual chat together. Thinking that was all it would be, after breakfast, once everything was properly tidied up, we came to Ingrid's room under the gaze of the grinning group of ladies and the gentle, watching eyes of the menfolk.
'Please, sit here.''That's a bed, right?''Yes.''And what's that in your hand?''An earpick.''We were going to have a casual chat...''Yes. So let's have a casual chat while I clean your ears.'
And so, we returned to the situation at the beginning.
My meager, low-romance-experience hesitation about whether it was okay to sit on a woman's private bed was effortlessly blown away by the advanced technique Ingrid employed: sitting down first, tilting her head slightly with a "is it not okay?" expression, and casting an upward glance that, while expressionless, exuded a lonely atmosphere.
Saying "pardon the intrusion," I sat next to Ingrid, and she gently guided my head onto her lap and began cleaning my ears.
Doesn't this fall under the category of a so-called 'room date'? Ingrid sometimes makes these unexpectedly proactive physical touches, which really throws me off.
Maybe it's the feminine, pleasant scent or something, but it makes my heart race, and having my earlobes gently massaged feels this amazing.
"Now, let's do the other ear.""Ah, yes."
Being this physically close, and having received continuous affection from Nell and Amina, I'm starting to mistakenly think maybe Ingrid likes me too.
"Lord Liberta, I hold feelings of admiration for you.""Eh?"
Just as I was thinking such things and letting her do as she pleased, Ingrid's voice, soft and filled with affection as if whispered near my ear, seeped warmly into my ear, making my heart thump loudly.
So, being whispered to near the ear by a woman's voice makes your heart race this much.
"I have heard that you have conveyed your feelings to Lady Nell and Lady Amina. As a maid serving her master, I am aware this is presumptuous of me. However, I would be most fortunate if you would at least hear my feelings."
On top of that, this follow-up attack came at the perfect timing for strange thoughts.Honestly, my brain can't keep up with the processing.
"Eh, ah, yes."
So, all I can do is honestly accept that affection.Yeah, seriously, why is everyone choosing this timing?
And, is it okay to ask Ingrid, "Why do you like me?"
"You have a 'why?' expression on your face.""Yeah, that's... right."
It seems my inner conflict was showing plainly on my face.It was the same with Nell. And with Amina.
To be blunt, I feel like the only one I've clearly raised a 'flag' with in the romantic sense is Lady Esmeralda.At least, that's the only one I can understand.
With Nell and Amina, well, I can barely convince myself it's because I'm the only guy they've been around, but I still wonder if I did anything to warrant such straightforward affection.
"You cherished me. That alone is more than enough for me."
Through the flow of conversation, I ended up hearing the reason I hadn't asked the other two.In response to that rather blunt question, Ingrid gently stroked my hair, and with eyes that held kindness and affection within her expressionless face, she gazed into my eyes and said so.
"Umm, I remember making some pretty unreasonable demands on you, though?"
Cherished.That word feels like the farthest thing from describing my actions, doesn't it?
I relied on Ingrid for all housework, for other support, completely followed my own judgment in her training direction, and on top of that, made her go through hardships related to Azhdaha.
There's no way I can honestly accept being told that I cherished her.
"No, Lord Liberta. Even within those unreasonable demands, there were things that made me feel you cherished me."
Ingrid shook her head, denying my words.
"Lord Liberta, you never once ordered me to do something I could not do. You always prepared the steps so that I *could* do it. You understood what I was capable of, and relied on me for those things."
As if to back up that denial, she began speaking fluently and without hesitation.It was immediately clear these weren't empty compliments.
"Lord Liberta, at every possible moment, you offered words of thanks for what I accomplished. You always valued my efforts. You stood by my side and assisted in what I did."
*I am clumsy.But I desperately think and try to convey even a little.*
I had no way to stop the words Ingrid was throwing at me, laden with such emotion.
"It may have been utterly ordinary, perhaps nothing special to you. But you saw me—not as the daughter of the Grullé family, but as an individual named Ingrid, and as a comrade."
We first met when she was introduced as a reliable person.However, because I didn't know about the Grullé family's standing, I tried to get to know Ingrid as just one girl.
The more I learned, the more I thought she lived her life rather clumsily, but I never thought she was a bad person.
On the contrary, I thought she was someone I could trust and rely on.
The hand stroking my hair stopped, moved gently to my cheek, and rested there.Even Ingrid's expressionless face couldn't hide the warmth of that touch.
"That, more than anything, made me happy."
And then, for the first time since being with her, I saw Ingrid's smiling expression up close.
"You can smile."
Surprised, I blurted out something rude, but Ingrid, not minding my words, replied while staying in her position.
"I usually suppress it intentionally. The Grullé house instructs us to do so from a young age.""Somehow... nobles really have it tough, huh?""It's part of social conduct. My family requires us to suppress emotions and be loyal to our duties."
In FBO, there were many noble houses with peculiar customs.Among them, Ingrid's family home was quite the unusual one, it seems.
"Are you forcing yourself?""It's something I've done since I became self-aware, so I'm used to it by now.""Doesn't it hurt?""Because you care for my heart like this, it doesn't hurt.""It's okay to show more emotion, you know?"
It's understandable, if you think about it.Considering that controlling emotions was the result of thinking about what was necessary to preserve the family, the logic follows.
But being able to understand is a different story from being able to accept.
The act of suppressing emotions.When I think she had to keep doing that, I feel a sense of guilt.
I meant to convey to Ingrid that it's okay to be more honest from now on, but she showed me a wry smile.
While thinking today was a day where I saw a lot of her emotions, I wondered what kind of reply would come back.
"......Actually, there is a downside to having hidden my expressions for so long.""A downside? Don't tell me your facial muscles won't move?!"
Startled by the mention of a problem, my hand reached towards Ingrid's cheek. She didn't stop it, instead guiding it to her cheek and placing her own hand over mine.
"At first, that was the case. But when I practiced to be able to show this smile to you, Lord Liberta, they moved normally.""Ah, you practiced.""Yes. When I tried to make a smile for the first time in a long while, they didn't move as I thought they would, and I was actually quite flustered.""You were flustered, huh.""Yes. I practiced desperately."
Reassured by Ingrid's joke, which she followed with another smile, indicating it wasn't that serious, I returned to the point: then what *is* the problem?
"So, what's the problem?""......Showing my...""Showing your...?""Expressions is embarrassing."
Following the natural flow, Ingrid turned her face away slightly and explained the issue in a faint voice.
"A side effect of maintaining an expressionless facade is that I've become unaccustomed to showing emotional expressions to others. Showing a smile to you, Lord Liberta, is also quite embarrassing..."
And now, her ears were bright red, perhaps from having held back desperately until now.The fact that she showed me a smile despite that made it feel somewhat special.
"But you showed me anyway.""Yes. I wanted you to see it.""It was a beautiful smile.""I am happy to receive your praise, but... umm, I would like you to go a little easier on me, if possible."
It wasn't meant to tease.I was just being honestly straightforward with my words.
And yet, Ingrid's face grew even redder, and she looked at me as if pleading, "Don't be mean."
"Then, let's get used to it little by little.""Yes. First, I would like to practice only in front of you, Lord Liberta.""That's a heavy responsibility.""You need not take it so seriously. Also, my words earlier were just to let you know my feelings. Your reply can wait until after you have answered Lady Nell and Lady Amina."
I made a promise to be Ingrid's practice partner for emotional expression and received a conveniently understanding statement, but surely that's not really okay, is it?
"Is that really alright...?""Yes, Lord Liberta. I will wait for you, no matter how long.""......I will strive not to keep you waiting too long."
And so, I swore to think about it seriously.