How to Live as a Counselor in Another World

Chapter 19

“I am someone who should not be allowed to live in society.”

I closed my mouth. I did not know what to say. Should I offer some trite reassurance, something like, “That is not true”? His expression was far too serious for that. Saying something so hollow would only backfire.

So I simply waited for him to continue.

Draksan squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again.

“I can feel it myself. I am going mad.”

“You are not mad. You are ill. An illness can be treated.”

“For the past month, I did not come to see you even once. Do you know why?”

I had no idea.

“Because I got better. Suddenly, as if everything had been washed clean. Before, just thinking about that bastard, the ‘Monster Tamer,’ Hadler, that fucking bastard… it made my anger boil over.”

“You would fly into a fit of rage just from hearing the name ‘Hadler.’”

“Yes. But at some point, hearing that word no longer affected me at all. Even when I pictured his face, or imagined the pain my wife and daughter must have suffered.”

Draksan let out a hollow laugh.

“At some point, I started thinking like this. ‘My wife is already dead. Hadler is paying for his crimes. There is nothing I can do. It is powerless, but what choice do I have? I cannot let myself destroy the rest of my life by clinging to the past’…”

“……”

“At the time, I truly thought I had completely recovered.”

If what Draksan said was true, his way of thinking had shifted into a fairly healthy direction.

“But that was not the case. Do you know what charge I am being held on right now?”

“You were brought in for assaulting investigators.”

“Before that, there was someone else I assaulted. A young man named Hardi. While I was beating him, investigators were dispatched, and I ended up assaulting them as well.”

He spoke as though he were describing something another person had done, and that was understandable.

That series of assaults had not been driven by Draksan’s will, but committed after he lost his reason due to Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

“And that man, Hardi… is Hadler’s son.”

“What? I heard you assaulted someone you were drinking with.”

“That is also true. At the time, I was drinking with Hardi.”

It was difficult to make sense of what he was saying. I organized my thoughts.

Hadler was the so-called ‘Monster Tamer’ who murdered Draksan’s family. And Hardi was Hadler’s son.

Which meant…

‘Draksan was drinking with the son of his sworn enemy?’

Even after putting the pieces together, there was something I still did not understand.

“My memory is a bit unclear, but… did you not also hate Hadler’s family?”

“Yes. At first, I did. I hated his entire family. I wanted to kill them all. Since I could no longer kill him with my own hands, I even resolved to kill his family instead.”

“Yes, you told me that yourself.”

Hadler was imprisoned for life. Because of that, Draksan lost his chance for revenge.

It was not as though he could simply break into a prison and kill him.

So his unresolved resentment turned toward Hadler’s family.

Hadler had committed murders in the shadows while outwardly living a normal family life.

Of course, his family had not known that he was secretly a murderer, but that was of no concern to Draksan.

Instead of exacting revenge on Hadler directly, Draksan had planned to harm his family.

He had even described those detailed plans to me.

“I actually investigated Hadler’s family in preparation for carrying out my revenge. Ah, this is something I never told you beforehand…”

“That is fine.”

There was no reason to be surprised.

I had vaguely sensed as much during our counseling sessions.

“Please, continue.”

“But when I looked into them, I found that Hadler’s family was not living comfortably either. They were being pointed at and shunned simply because they were his family. Hardi kept failing to find work, solely because he was Hadler’s son.”

Seeing such a thing might reasonably evoke a sense of satisfaction or vindication.

It certainly would have for me.

But Draksan was a kinder man than I had expected.

“I started thinking this. Perhaps they, too, are victims suffering because of a human murderer. Like me. Yes, like me… Thinking that way, I felt sorry for them. They were innocent. The only one who committed a crime was that fucking bastard Hadler….”

Suddenly, Draksan clenched his teeth. After letting out a long sigh and steadying himself, he continued.

“So I bought a small gift and went to visit Hadler’s family.”

“You went in person… Were they not wary of you?”

“At first, they thought I had come to harm them and were on guard. But once we talked, we became close rather quickly.”

Draksan and Hadler’s family shared something in common.

They had suffered because of Hadler, and they continued to suffer because of him.

By sharing that pain, they grew close, and he became so familiar with Hadler’s son Hardi that they even drank together.

“But once the alcohol got to me…”

Draksan’s eyes trembled.

“Hardi and Hadler do resemble each other. They are both dwarves, after all… But until then, it had never happened. Suddenly, I began to see Hadler’s face in Hardi. Then, gradually, I could no longer tell whether the person in front of me was Hardi or Hadler, and eventually…”

His leg shook anxiously. His breathing grew rough.

“…I had to kill him. I had to kill the Hadler in front of me right then and there. That was all I could think.”

“And that is why you assaulted Hardi. Because Hardi and Hadler overlapped in your vision.”

“Yes. Not long after, three investigators came to arrest me. The funny thing is… they looked like Hadler too. I beat even those innocent investigators and staggered home in a daze. On the way back, everyone I encountered… They all looked like Hadler. Every single one of them.”

Draksan’s body was trembling.

The man who had looked so formidable when hunting monsters now appeared more fragile than anyone.

“I am insane. I have no confidence in living. I have no reason to live either. So… it is better if I go to prison. Someone like me should not be released into society. No.”

He gave a bitter smile. It was the smile of someone who had resigned himself.

“Not even a human… but a Barbarian.”

I chose my words carefully.

“Your daughter is still alive.”

“My daughter? Lena?”

Draksan’s daughter, Lena, was not dead.

Though she was in the horrific state of a coma, she was undeniably alive.

Yet rather than finding hope in my words, Draksan scoffed.

Staring into empty space with eyes even hollower than before, he spoke.

“Is that truly living?”

“……”

I fell silent.

What ordinary healing magic could treat were physical injuries. Advanced healing magic could even restore internal organs and bones.

But even healing magic could not mend the brain, the mind itself. Lena had lost consciousness due to psychological trauma.

Every form of healing magic and medical technique had been exhausted, yet she had not awakened.

Unless a miracle occurred, there was no chance she ever would.

All that could be done was to keep her alive through life-sustaining treatment, suspended in a state that was neither living nor dead.

Could that truly be called living?

“I am exhausted. Completely.”

He was asking to be imprisoned of his own will.

He was voluntarily requesting isolation from society.

Which meant that the way for me to help him was… to do nothing.

To let Draksan go to prison as he wished.

“…Thank you for speaking with me, Draksan. I will come again.”

“There is no need, Doctor.”

Draksan bowed his head deeply.

“Thank you for everything.”

***

When I stepped out of the visitation room, I saw Nyxle.

She was standing guard outside with her hands clasped behind her back, likely stationed there in case Draksan caused a disturbance during the visit.

“Ah, Doctor. Did your conversation go well?”

“Yes.”

I answered while struggling to conceal my bitterness.

Nyxle hesitated, as though she had something to say.

“Is there something you would like to tell me?”

“…It is nothing. Just.”

She hesitated, then continued.

“I have received a great deal of help from you, Dr. Kain. Enough that I consider you my benefactor. But in this matter, I believe Chief Justin is right.”

Nyxle watched me carefully, checking whether my feelings had been hurt.

Maintaining that cautious attitude, she continued.

“Since I, too, have been helped by you, I can understand Draksan’s suffering to some extent. His story is heartbreaking. But…”

“He is too dangerous to be released into society.”

“Yes… I am not really in a position to say this, though.”

Nyxle lowered her head, looking embarrassed.

I nodded.

“I am aware of that as well.”

If Draksan’s sentence were reduced on the grounds of mental illness and a tragic past, then, as Chief Justin warned, criminals would arise who sought to exploit that precedent.

Moreover, Draksan himself wanted to go to prison.

‘There is nothing to agonize over.’

Draksan would stand trial like anyone else, without a reduced sentence, and pay for his crime of assault.

That way, there would be no precedent of the kind Chief Justin feared. No criminals would exploit it.

Draksan would enter prison as he wished, separating himself from society. Everything would proceed as everyone desired. But…

I thought about Draksan’s life.

On the day he returned home after working diligently, his wife was dead and his daughter lay in a coma.

Unable to take revenge, he suffered alone and developed a disorder that robbed him of control over his anger.

Just as his illness began to improve and he was finally able to envision a future free from the ghosts of the past, his rage erupted once more.

Unable to trust even himself, he chose to isolate himself from society by entering prison of his own accord.

It was cruel beyond measure.

Was this truly the best outcome? Was sending Draksan to prison really the correct answer…?

He had asked to be isolated from society of his own will.

But was that truly what he wanted? Did he not also wish, like anyone else, to live an ordinary life?

Yet there was no other solution.

Soon, the day of Draksan’s trial arrived.

***

The trial proceeded swiftly.

Draksan did not deny his charges. He confessed to every wrongdoing in meticulous detail.

He lied only once. When he said, “I am fine.”

He did not wish to receive leniency on the grounds of mental illness, nor did he mention that he suffered from Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

Even taking into account his confession and remorse, the first trial sentenced him to fifteen years. For a first offense, it was a heavy sentence.

It was hard not to wonder whether the fact that Draksan was a Barbarian had influenced the verdict…

‘The truth of it cannot be known.’

Draksan appeared determined to accept the sentence as it was, without appealing.

Thus, the matter seemed to come to a close, leaving behind a lingering bitterness. And it was just before Draksan was to be sent to prison.

Chirp, chirp.

Birdsong drifted in through the window.

‘Gipone?’

When I unfolded the letter the pigeon carried in its beak, I read the following message.

—Doctor it is me Nyxle please come to the Public Security Bureau Draksan is right now

The handwriting was hurried and messy, lacking context, and the message cut off abruptly.

It was easy to tell that something urgent had happened, and that it involved Draksan.