Chapter 8
Chapter 8: I Need to Eat More Burgers (2)
When they emerged from the Dungeon, the sun was already sinking low, about to disappear beyond the mountains.
"Whoa…. It's already evening. Master, you worked so hard today!"
"Good work. Mister."
Hearing the greetings from the two of them, I had been about to disband the party for the day…. But before that, there was something I needed to show them.
"Both of you. Come over here."
I guided the two of them to the side of the Dungeon entrance. A short walk later, a black stele stood before us, and I pointed to the very top.
【This Year's Dungeon Conquerors】
【Floor 1—Yuna Linforce,Silen Artre,Yujin Kalintz.】
"Huh…. Master. W-what is this?"
"It's the list of people who have cleared the Dungeon. Unfortunately, you didn't make it onto the all-time speed-run list, but you did make it onto this year's list."
"This year's…. You mean no one has conquered this Dungeon this year?"
"That's right. And take a close look at the side."
"Hm? The side? Oh?"
Written in small letters on the side was the following.
【Contribution Rate】
【Yuna Linforce 55% Silen Artre 45%】
"Huh…. Huh? What is this?"
"It's an indicator that measures how much each of you contributed when conquering Floor 1 of the Dungeon."
"What?! Then where's Master's name? Why isn't Master's name there? Don't Orders count toward the share? And what about the buffs from the food—!"
"Of course not. Neither Orders nor buffs count toward the Contribution Rate."
"That's so unfair. Without Master, we wouldn't have been able to do anything…."
"Haha. It's fine. It's also true that you two put in the effort."
I patted Yuna on the head and smiled at Silen.
"Hmph…. Well, I guess we did work hard."
Silen turned her head away sharply, still looking embarrassed.
"Well then, good work on conquering Floor 1. I'll call you both when the new dish is finished. If things go as I expect, it should turn out something decent."
"Ugh…. I'll be waiting with great anticipation!"
"Hmph. I'll be waiting without any anticipation."
Right.
I should feed these kids something delicious.
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The following day. I headed to the market, and without much difficulty, I was able to get everything I wanted.
In exchange, the money in my pocket had shrunk considerably.
"I can just withdraw money from the bank."
I thought that far—and then my hand stopped. Thud.
….
It's not that I have no money.
I am from the future Hero's Party. A former member of Thunder Strike's mages.
And at the same time, the one and only direct disciple of the Mage Tower Lord.
I'm a mage who published several research achievements, whose technologies became national standards, and earned an enormous amount of income from them.
So money is overflowing. Rotting away. I have enough money that even if I tried to eat and spend it all before I die, there'd still be plenty left.
But….
"That money is mostly sitting in the bank…!"
Here's the problem.
A bank is a place where the synchronization of input and output data is always crucial.
So who would be capable of synchronizing all the data across the entire world and creating the magical constructs to manage it?
No need to ask—it's the Mage Tower.
And if I were to withdraw money from the bank managed by that Mage Tower?
Where I withdrew money from would reach my Master's ears the very moment it happened, and she'd come flying.
Then she'd activate Magic Detection to find out where I was. And when she found me….
【My dear apprentice! So you were here!】
【Yes. Yes! I heard everything! They say you left that god-awful party! I knew you'd do it!】
【You want to do research, don't you? You love the Mage Tower so much, don't you? You want to build up your Master's research data and push your own achievements until they touch the heavens, don't you? Say no more—this Master will handle everything! Now follow me!】
【Let's lock ourselves in the research lab with just the two of us for about ten years and open the eternal horizon of research together!】
…….
Goosebumps.
Given that my Master specializes in mastering time and space, even if we spent ten years together in the research lab, less than a month might have passed in the outside world.
If I generously estimated my lifespan at 200 years, living inside "Master's world" could mean being dragged around doing nothing but research for over 2,000 years in practice.
I don't want that kind of life. Living like that—I'd rather die.
So, regrettable as it is, I'll leave all the money sitting in the bank and figure out how to earn more on my own….
That's the best option.
Life comes before money.
"Huu…."
When you fall into despair, the fastest way to crawl back out is to eat something delicious and think good thoughts.
Even in this worn-out market, I was able to find what I wanted to a reasonable degree.
Sugar was a bit expensive, but I managed to buy it somehow, and so was salt. And finally, what I'd been hoping for was right there in front of me.
"Isn't this vinegar?"
"That it is. Tried to sell it as wine, but the brewer made a real blunder—this here's the failed result."
Right.
If the food culture had evolved even a little, vinegar would be a perfectly fine cooking ingredient—but this is just the sorry state of this world.
"Please give me one each of the wine and the vinegar. Will one silver coin do?"
"Aren't you paying a bit much? Here, go ahead and take one more thing."
"In that case, please add some of those beans over there."
With that, I bought the groceries and returned to my stall to begin cooking.
First, I crushed the tomatoes, added salt and sugar, and simmered them down.
The moisture evaporated, and after simmering over a low flame for dozens of minutes, I added the vinegar and finished it off.
"Mm. Well, this should do."
Since it was wine-based vinegar, the taste wasn't quite what I had imagined, and it fell short of expectations in various ways, but a ketchup was completed—one with a distinctly "homemade" feel to it.
With ketchup, there were so many things I could try.
First, I sealed the finished ketchup and cooled it in the river. Then I finished the other prep work and waited for the next day.
After all, delicious food is more enjoyable when shared with others rather than eaten alone.
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And the next day.
I told Yuna, who had come to work diligently as usual, that the cooking preparations were ready, and she dashed inside the academy grounds and dragged Silen back with her.
Whether she'd been napping before coming, Silen was looking over at me with a face full of every complaint imaginable.
"If it tastes bad, I'm flipping the table and running."
"What a tremendous threat."
"Then I'll chase after Silen and finish her off! 1,500 seconds is enough to take care of one Rogue!"
"Ha, you? You think you could?"
"Of course! I can!"
Whether the two of them were snarling at each other or not, I began cooking.
First, I started grilling high-quality beef on the grill. I smoked it with the smoke chips I'd made the day before, then split a bun in half, brushed only one side with beef tallow, and toasted it. After taking the bun out, I placed lettuce on top, added the bun, and then…. drizzled the chilled ketchup over it.
"Is that the dish? Looks pretty plain."
"No! Master's cooking is absolutely delicious, no matter what! Silen! If you don't know taste, keep your mouth shut!"
With the two still trading blows, I finished the burgers and prepared the side.
There's only one side dish that goes with a hamburger. I sliced the potatoes into long strips and dropped them into a pan filled generously with oil and heated to the right temperature.
Sssizzle!!
The potatoes were mercilessly fried as they rose up through the oil. At that sound, the noise from the arguing pair also stopped, and they both stared over this way.
I pulled out the potatoes, now a golden color, sprinkled salt over them, and prepared a separate dish of ketchup.
"It's done. There's nothing to drink besides water, but that can't be helped. Bear with it and eat."
I laid out the burgers and the fries, along with a side of dipping ketchup.
The two looked at the burger, then looked at me, and tilted their heads.
"Master. Do we eat this without a fork?"
"That's right. Like me, you pick it up with your hands…. And eat it like this."
"Oh! Bold and hearty! Then, thank you for the food!"
"A little barbaric…. Well, whatever. I'll dig in."
The moment the two buried their faces in the burgers and took their first bites, their eyes went wide.
"It's delicious!"
Yuna, her face filled with a full beaming smile. This one—it's always a pleasure watching her eat with such relish.
And Silen.
"What is this? What is this, it's genuinely dangerous. Not a joke. It's really delicious. What's going on? So you weren't just some perverted threatening old-man chef? What's going on here? Did you put something in it? No wait, I watched the cooking from the beginning. What? How…?"
Her eyes spinning in circles, Silen stared at the cross-section of the burger.
"So, how does it taste?"
"Urk…! If you heard me muttering, you already know, don't you? You're asking even though you know? You have the worst personality!"
"I want to hear it one more time. Give me a proper evaluation."
"Ah…. Seriously. Fine! It's delicious! I'll admit it! It's the most delicious thing I've ever eaten in my life! Happy now?!"
"Haha. Good. Satisfying to hear as the one who made it."
I took a bite myself and nodded.
The most delicious burger is one that's great with just meat, vegetables, and a simple sauce.
Of course, the bun isn't quite right, and there's no mayonnaise either, but this—well, this has its own charm.
It's just that, knowing what a burger is supposed to taste like, I miss cola all the more.
I have no idea what I'd have to do to recreate it. Would shooting electricity into water work? Would carbonated water just come gushing out?
"That'd be electrolysis. What nonsense am I thinking."
"Master? What did you say?"
"Never mind. It's good to see you eating happily."
"Yes! It's really delicious! Thank you!"
"So. What makes it good?"
"The warmth you feel when you bite into the bun toasted in beef tallow. And over that, the smoky aroma of the beef hitting you! And just when you think it might be getting too heavy, the vegetables and the slightly tangy tomato sauce step in to balance it out perfectly! This one dish is complete in and of itself, and it gives you the feeling that just this one thing is everything you need! It feels like I could eat forever and never stop! I want more!"
Yuna, ketchup around the corner of her mouth, turned her gaze sideways.
And what her gaze landed on was Silen's burger.
"Silen…. Why are you picking at it like that? If you're not going to eat it, I can take care of it for you…."
"Huh? What nonsense are you saying? I'm eating it, okay? What are you looking at? Hey. Stop looking at me like that. Why are you drooling over my food?!"
"Silen. Eating so little isn't good for you. It's bad for your health. But I could also take care of it for you…."
"I said I'm eating it, okay?!"
Silen grabbed her burger and made a quick escape, and Yuna clicked her tongue and her shoulders trembled.
Next she looked my way, and those eyes were wavering.
"N-no…. This is insubordination. I have to hold back. Yuna Linforce…. But…."
"Mm…. Yuna. Would you like to eat mine?"
"I will gratefully devour it, Master!"
And so Yuna polished off my burger as well as the one spare that had been left over.
The terrifying appetite of a high school girl.
Of course, the meal didn't end there.
The fries were still left.
Yuna continued eating happily as ever, but Silen's reaction went a step further.
"I just tried the fried potato, and yet my hand won't stop moving…. No, a dish like this should exist somewhere…. This sauce. This sauce is the problem. How was it made? Did you put something in the sauce?"
"Master! Even just frying potatoes makes them taste incredible!"
"Right. There's plenty of this, so eat slowly. That goes for Silen too."
With Silen looking overwhelmed by Yuna's colossal intake, the happy meal came to an end like that.
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Afterward. While I was washing up and tidying everything away, Silen came to find me on her own.
"Mister. Just a moment."
"What is it? I'm in the middle of doing dishes, so I don't have time to play with you."
"Huh? What are you talking about? Why would I play with Mister? That's offensive."
"Then go play on your own. Or ask Yuna to play with you."
"No, that's not what—ah, seriously. Fine. Then I'm just talking to myself, so answer or don't, do whatever you want."
Saying that, Silen squatted down beside me.
"Mister. I heard from Yuna that you have experience conquering Dungeons? And apparently you went quite deep too?"
"That's right. Deep enough that I don't need to be ashamed of it in front of anyone. Do you doubt that?"
"No. I was going to doubt it at first, but I went to the Rogue Guild yesterday and asked around, and apparently even the leaders of fairly impressive parties can't call out Orders step by step during a boss fight. What exactly are you, Mister?"
"A Culinary Researcher."
"I mean—why would someone with abilities like yours come to this rural backwater academy and run a food stall. If you wanted, you could earn so much more somewhere else, right? You can give buffs through food, you have a track record, and if you can do Orders too, any party would take you in anywhere—so why are you here?"
"What kinds of Dungeons do you think those parties go to?"
"Hmm. Hephaestus Dungeon, or the Dungeon of Aphrodite? If they like combat, there's also Thor's Dungeon…."
"That's right. At best, those are the kinds of places. Where you drop your weapons, or your clothes fall apart…. Or you find enlightenment in the midst of battle."
"So what about it?"
"Do you think the rewards found in those places are more important than what you eat?"
"What?"
"I don't think so. That's why I came to Demeter."
No matter how I think about it, this concept of Transcendence has ruined the world.
When you roam Dungeons, you end up with a body that doesn't need to eat—so nobody sets their sights on food.
Instead, all that's left are people staking their lives in a single-minded chase after Transcendence.
"I don't quite understand."
"Even if you don't understand it with your head, hasn't your body already figured it out?"
"W-what?! What did my body supposedly do?!"
"The happiness of eating. The burger and fries I made. They were good, weren't they?"
"……."
Silen said nothing and pressed her lips tightly shut.
"Going forward, I'll keep conquering Dungeons, obtain better ingredients, devise better recipes, and achieve the finest meal possible. I'm going to create the greatest feast this world has ever known."
And that feast will go by the name of Gimcheon Special.
"Ah, okay. So that's your goal, Mister?"
"It's my life's goal."
"What a strange goal…. Well. It wasn't bad though. I think it was delicious. The burger, and the fries too…. I can't express myself as well as Yuna, but…. I feel like I could eat it endlessly. I feel like I'd never get tired of it, no matter how many times I had it. That part, I agree with. And beyond that…. it was a warm and heartfelt dish."
"Is that so."
"Well. I'm just saying your goal isn't so bad. I'll be happy to join in for taste-testing anytime."
Saying that, she made sure I couldn't see her face and bolted away.
Seeing that the tips of her ears had gone red, I couldn't help smiling.
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That evening.
Feeling that a single burger from earlier in the day wasn't quite enough, I lit a fire in the remains of the stall and decided to try frying a bit of everything over the bonfire. I tried frying the hard bread crisp like a cracker, fried some beans, did some fries again, and made potato chips too. I coated the beef in a flour batter and fried that as well.
Isn't there a saying that if any ingredient in the world still doesn't taste good after you've tried frying it, there's no saving it?
And looking at the results, I nodded.
All of this is less like a meal and more like…. Eating snacks.
"Come to think of it, I still had a little wine left."
I pulled out the wine I'd bought along with the vinegar, and just as I was about to enjoy a quiet nightcap under the moonlit night—
"Good evening. Are you by any chance open late at night?"
I couldn't help smiling at the voice from behind me.
"As it happens, there's an adults-only menu I don't sell to kids."
"That sounds just perfect. In that case, are you also selling that wine?"
"Of course. Would you like a glass?"
"Then please give me a snack set and…. a glass of wine."
The hours belonging to adults, with all the children gone off to sleep.
The Professor from the Department of Swordsmanship.
Daisy had come to pay a visit to the late-night diner.