Chapter 4
Chapter 4: I’ve Become… A Girl?!
***
I’m probably going to die again.
Seemingly convinced of my death, the swordsman didn’t deliver another blow and turned to leave.
I saw his final glance towards me. It was like… a sense of relief that everything had finally come to peace.
No hatred, no anger, no pity, no regret.
“Is… it… my… fault?”
Words so weak they were barely audible.
But the swordsman suddenly turned around, his eyes wide.
“You can speak the Human Language?!” The swordsman’s tone showed unusual agitation, as if something incredibly bewildering had happened before him, leaving him utterly shocked.
Yes, probably because I had devoured a human soul.
“What… am… I…”
How laughable, I’m about to die, why should I care about this question anymore?
But I just wanted an answer, that’s all.
As expected, I received no response.
My body was gradually falling apart, turning into fine black ashes.
The ashes scattered and drifted, emitting a faint white light, casting a desolate color in the not-so-large space shrouded in black smoke.
The swordsman’s face hidden among the ashes showed a somewhat complicated expression that was hard to make out.
My vision was becoming blurry too. An extreme sense of fatigue washed over me, my eyelids growing heavier.
“You… you don’t know what you are?”
The swordsman finally spoke.
“I… don’t know… I… didn’t want to hurt… why…”
“I… don’t know… why…”
I closed my eyes.
…………
Going to die again, huh.
That “again” is quite peculiar.
But I really feel like there’s no way to save me this time.
Oh well, dying is dying, it might be for the best. I won’t have to think about anything anymore.
No need to worry, no need to be troubled. No pain, no sorrow.
And no need to be a monster that nobody likes.
When I was human, nobody understood me, and after dying and coming back looking like this.
Of course, even fewer people would understand, that’s just common sense.
Actually, thinking carefully, maybe it’s not all other people’s fault.
If I had spent more time communicating properly with my parents.
If I had shared my troubles instead of keeping them bottled up inside. If I had properly told them everything instead of bearing it all alone.
Maybe there would have been a better ending.
At the moment I jumped from the rooftop, I realized that choosing death was actually a sign of cowardice, just an irresponsible escape.
Escaping from all pain and adversity, running away from all the problems I should have faced.
My parents must be heartbroken now. They might even blame themselves for my death and feel guilty about it for the rest of their lives.
Thinking about this, I actually feel regretful.
But now, thinking about these things is pointless.
Is that why after death, I became a monster unable to communicate with humans?
Is this punishment for my immaturity?
…………
If I were given another chance, I definitely, absolutely definitely, wouldn’t choose to run away again.
No matter how many hardships and pain, I would definitely live on properly.
I wonder if after dying this time, I’ll see Xiaoxi again. She must be waiting for me in that world, will she scold me?
That silly child, following a complete failure like me, still cheerful every day. Being with her, even I would be caught up in her happiness.
Really, should I say she was too pure-hearted, or just completely carefree?
For her, happiness might have been a very simple thing?
I really envy people like that.
Hmm… I miss her century egg and lean meat porridge, although when we were together, it was the same unchanging porridge every morning, almost drove me crazy.
Haha.
Tch, why is it so noisy around here, won’t you let me die in peace?
…………
Why am I thinking about all these random things?
Eh, wait, how can I still think?
Huh? Can I still hear sounds?
This is strange.
My face feels a bit itchy, let me scratch it…
…………
?!?!???
Alright, I’ve discovered something.
I’m not dead yet.
So I’m not dead? What’s going on? I clearly saw my body turn to ashes, didn’t I? Although I couldn’t become nature’s fertilizer, but that was as dead as dead could be, right?
And now I’m not only still alive, but it seems like the pain in my body is gone too.
????????
Right, what about that swordsman, why can’t I hear any movement? Did he not notice me just now, does he think I’m really dead? Should I… continue playing dead?
…………
Or… maybe peek with one eye to observe?
Just once.
One, two, three, here goes.
I carefully opened one eye.
Then I saw the swordsman still standing in place, his previously calm and composed face now wearing an expression like he’d seen a ghost, staring at me without blinking, mouth hanging wide open.
Oh no, I’ve been discovered!
I quickly closed my eye again, continuing to lie motionless on the ground.
“……”
“…Hey.”
“……”
“Stop pretending, you can understand what I’m saying, right?”
“……” If I answer now, I lose!
The atmosphere just now was so perfect, like the grand finale of an epic chapter, the hero finally slaying the monster, turning to welcome the upcoming cheers, isn’t that how the story should develop? If he discovers I’m playing dead… although this wasn’t my intention, but just thinking about it is so embarrassing!
Moreover, I seem to be no match for him.
After all, I’m just a monster, isn’t this fine as it is?
Silently praying in my heart, don’t be discovered, don’t be discovered, don’t be discovered…
“……”
Bzzt bzzt.
“Ah!”
Feeling a sharp electric shock on my bottom, I immediately jumped up from the ground, stepped back into a defensive stance, frowning as I stared at the swordsman ahead.
Then reached out my right hand… to rub my bottom, it hurt a bit.
Eh, why is my bottom so smooth… eh, why did this bearded swordsman get taller?
No, why did I get shorter?
No, that’s not right either, how can my right arm move? Where are the wounds? And my arm…
I looked at my arm, the fair skin was as smooth and delicate as white jade, just like a newborn baby.
It’s normal skin!
Eh, eh eh eh!?
Could it be I’ve turned back into a human?
I immediately became anxious and a bit excited, desperately wanting to thoroughly examine my body right away to see if I’d really turned back into a human. But with a great enemy before me, my gaze could only stay locked on him, guarding against any sudden attacks.
“You…”
“You… don’t speak, let me… think.”
Just as the swordsman was about to speak, I immediately interrupted him, my eyes still fixed on him as I began to ponder.
The black smoke surrounding me and the swordsman almost completely isolated the outside world, I couldn’t see out, so people outside probably couldn’t see what was happening inside either. The black smoke snakes I had released earlier, which had maintained a faint connection, were now completely gone, probably dispersed when I “died” earlier?
Those surviving knights must all be waiting outside the black smoke, waiting for a result, right? They don’t know what’s happening inside. The black smoke kills on contact, they dare not force their way in, so now it’s just me and the swordsman staring at each other, but I’m a bit worried about that old man in the robe, wonder if he has any new tricks.
But come to think of it, this swordsman doesn’t seem very afraid of the black smoke. Earlier when he stabbed my chest twice, he actually came in contact with the black smoke, but he doesn’t seem to be affected.
Right, the chest wound!
I hurriedly felt around my chest to check… no wounds! Hm? What’s this? Why are there two small, soft… what are these things!?
I frowned deeply, staring seriously at the swordsman whose gaze seemed to be turning strange, while my heart was already in chaos.
I discovered things seemed to be beyond my imagination.
……Deep breath, stay calm.
Somewhat incredulously, as if wanting to confirm again, my hands trembling slightly, I gently squeezed the two soft mounds on my chest.
“Mmm…” A tingling sensation spread through me, and I immediately couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.
Holy shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!!!!!
Vaguely realizing my current situation, my emotions gradually collapsed, with ten thousand grass mud horses galloping in my heart. Already completely ignoring the swordsman’s teasing gaze, I quickly looked down to examine my body. A sight of pure white entered my eyes, a naked body, a bare bottom, a slender waist, the full breasts that could be held in one hand, and between my legs, that bare mound…
Where’s my brother!?
Where! Is! My! Brother!!!
Ahhhhhhh!!!!
For a moment, I thought it might have been better to just die earlier.
Although I had joked before about wanting to be a woman after being reborn.
But that was just a joke, damn it! Don’t take it seriously! And this body isn’t even a loli!!!
My mental state collapsed, my face ashen.
“Ahem, since you’re not dead, let’s have a chat,” the swordsman spoke again, sheathing his sword at his waist, and actually sat down cross-legged, clearly showing an attitude of having me figured out.
I recovered from the fatal shock and relaxed slightly at his words. This swordsman was really too formidable, I was somewhat afraid of him.
Now’s not the time for random thoughts, I must adjust my mood and think of a way to escape from the current predicament. But looking at his demeanor, he seems to have temporarily decided to cease fighting.
But I can’t let my guard down, maybe he’s trying to deceive me, then strike a fatal blow when I’m not paying attention?
His hand is still resting on the sword hilt, not letting go.
“You… won’t… hurt… me? Uh…”
Only now did I notice that my voice was even softer and sweeter than expected, with a somewhat sticky pronunciation. Although I was mentally prepared, it still startled me.
Well, now I’m basically certain in my heart. Although I really don’t want to admit it, I have indeed, probably, maybe, perhaps, not necessarily? Anyway, turned into a girl.
I want to stand in the fierce wind and sob… shed two tears of farewell for my beloved little brother.
Heavens!! This isn’t how you should play! Not letting me die is one thing, but you had to turn me into a monster, get fireballed in the face right after being born, then get beaten up, and now you turn me into a girl!?
WQNMLGB.
Wait.
I’m completely naked now, without any clothes, and this bearded swordsman has been staring at me since earlier. Doesn’t that mean he’s seen everything!?
If I were still a man it wouldn’t matter, but now… realizing this, I quickly pressed my legs together, arms tightly hugging my chest, staring at him with wide eyes.
“…Better put some clothes on.” The swordsman gave me a strange look, unfastened his pure white cloak and tossed it to me.
“Uh…” I hurriedly caught it and wrapped it around myself, making sure I was completely covered and wouldn’t show anything before looking up to meet the swordsman’s gaze again, and surprisingly felt my face getting a bit warm.
Damn it, Chen Yuxuan, why are you blushing, why are you acting like a sissy, haven’t you seen women or men before?!!
Your current mindset is really SO messed up!!
“Hahaha, you can actually feel embarrassed! Are you really a monster from the abyss?” The swordsman seemed quite intrigued and laughed heartily, as if he’d discovered some interesting toy.
Laugh my ass.
Looking at the swordsman’s big grinning face, I wanted nothing more than to turn back into a monster right now and use a sandbag-sized fist to punch him in the face.