The Good Goblin

Dear Dwynfel

I must apologise to you for not handing you this letter in person. I was not sure of exactly when this letter would be needed, therefore I decided it would be prudent to leave it in the care of Clive.

I owe you a significantly larger apology for misleading you for all of these years. As you have likely discerned, I always knew that it was not your destiny to wield the sword. Your connection with the sword has never been real. The connection has always been mine.

I admit, I was surprised when you pulled the sword from the wall. You being in contact with me was enough for my mana to flow through you and activate it. I could have informed you of everything on that day. But I chose not to.

I first pulled the sword from the wall when I was a young girl. I was simply visiting this city with my parents. I was a rather mischievous child. Before the time of the actual sword pulling ceremony, I sneaked into the room and pulled the sword in the company of no one. In that moment I was plagued by visions of the day that I would finally use the sword. I saw the explosion that I would cause. I witnessed my own demise. As a child, this was a daunting prospect and I panicked. In actuality, I was terrified.

I placed the sword back in the wall and acted as though nothing had occurred. I pretended to attempt to pull the sword during the actual ceremony, and nobody was any the wiser. Nobody that is, except for Clive.

Clive spoke to me at the time. He reassured me that I did not need to wield the sword any time soon and that the sword would wait until I was ready to wield it. But those words fell on deaf ears. I was but a child, I did not want a destiny. I simply wanted to lead my own life.

I do believe that this desire to fight my destiny is what drove me to become an adventurer. My family certainly did not approve. Those of my lineage wield political power, they do not indulge in feats of strength. But I wanted to carve my own path. I was not going to be manipulated by destiny. I was going to live and die by my own terms.

Clive visited me on several occasions throughout the years. Even after he no longer held his post within the walls of the Dukedom. He never attempted to convince me to take up the mantle of the sword wielder in the eyes of the public. If anything, he assured me that everything was as it should be. Upon his last visit, he told me that on the day that I needed the sword, I would know. He stated that I would simply need to be at the north gate and the sword would be brought to me.

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Despite Clive’s reassurances, I cannot help but feel that I should have taken the sword from your hand on that day. But I was a coward. I always have been. I always felt that the second I assumed the role of the sword bearer that my fate would be sealed. I did not wish to die. As I write this to you, I still do not wish to die. However, I have a family. I know that their survival is dependent on this sacrifice. And if my death will keep them safe, then I shall go to it willingly.

I now offer you one final apology, for I must ask one final favour of you. And that is to look after my family. Rosario is sweet, but he is still young and I am sure that some will use this to attempt to manipulate him. He sometimes needs reminding that he is his own man and can decide the course of his life for himself.

I am well aware that our marriage prevented a war. I know that it saved the lives of thousands of people. But that does not mean that it was without consequence. Rosario lost his childhood as a result. And I found myself raising a five-year-old husband.

I endeavoured to give him the best childhood that I could. But our marriage was political in nature and certain standards needed to be upheld. Over the years, I have grown to truly love him. His devotion to our marriage and to me is admirable. But in normal circumstances, our marriage should never have been.

I wish for you to ensure that he knows that I do not wish for him to engage in another political marriage. He has done his duty. He sacrificed his childhood in the name of peace. He became a father at the age of thirteen. He does not owe anybody anything now. When he marries again, he is to do so for love.

Rosario is aware of the fact that I do not wish for either of our daughters to be part of such political arrangements. Politics be damned, they will have their freedom. He agrees with me and I know that he will not allow them to be used in such a manner. But when it comes to himself, he considers himself a man of duty. Therefore, I need you to make him aware that this is my final wish. Then I have no doubt that he will abide by it. I simply hope that he finds happiness.

Do ensure that Rosario, Rose, and Violet all know how much I love them. They have made me the women that I am today. And I go to my grave feeling more loved than I ever thought possible.

Finally, Dwynfel. I wish to address you personally. You have been a more than adequate friend to me over the years. You have always been respectful towards me. You never assumed me weak due to my scars. You simply admired me for who I am. This is an admirable quality that I hope you never lose.

I have thoroughly enjoyed watching you develop and grow over the years. You have transformed from the timid little creature that I first met, into somebody who would take on a cave troll with a knife if it meant protecting his friends. My life has been enriched by knowing you.

I know that you will likely be crying as you read this, but please stop. My life certainly did not take the path that I would have chosen when I was little. But I want you to feel safe in the knowledge that at the end, I was happy. Truly happy. So please, no more tears. Go and be with your family. Live your life. Try to cease all the worry, and the panic, and just, be happy.

Phoenix