Transmigrated as an Unwanted Ugly Girl

He couldn’t articulate any grand principles, but he had a vague understanding of a man’s responsibilities. Since he didn’t want to marry his cousin, he absolutely couldn’t agree to it. Otherwise, neither of them would have a happy life.

Even if Juhua never married him, he still couldn’t marry Yu Qin.

’Is bringing a wife home the end of it? Don’t you have to build a life together afterward?’

’With the way I feel, how could I possibly live with Yu Qin? I’d be miserable, not to mention I’d be hurting her, too.’

But who could he tell all this to? Besides, his feelings for Juhua were something he couldn’t speak of. Even if Qingmu knew what he was thinking, he couldn’t possibly understand this agony.

Luckily, his parents also liked Juhua, which was why they hadn’t forced him to agree to this match. Otherwise, when it came to something as important as marriage, he would have had no say. He would have had to marry whomever they told him to.

He dug at the soil and cleared the woodpile, working until he was drenched in sweat. He took off his outer shirt, leaving him in just a worn-out undershirt. His muscles, pale from a winter indoors and not yet tanned by the sun, were exposed as he continued to work.

Zhang Yang studied texts with Mr. Zhou at the schoolhouse for a while longer before hurrying home. When he saw his brother, sweat pouring off him like rain, gathering the newly dug black soil, he rushed forward to help. He also helped pick the small earthworms out of the old compost pile and move them to the fresh soil.

As he worked, he watched his brother’s face. He saw that he was fraught with worry, his brows tightly furrowed. The somberness was so obvious that it brought his own spirits down.

For the past several days, the whole family had been so worn out by Cousin Yu Qin’s antics that no one was in the mood to joke or laugh. It left him feeling very frustrated.

Although he was young, he was very smart. A little kid like him wasn’t supposed to have an opinion on this marriage, but he couldn’t help but think, ’Shouldn’t a marriage be based on mutual affection?’

’What is Cousin even doing?’

’Even if she forces the marriage by making such a fuss, it’ll just make everyone unhappy.’

Just as he was thinking this, he saw his brother suddenly stop, hoe in hand, and stare blankly into space.

It turned out Zhang Huai was thinking, ’What’s the use of me making up my mind? What if my cousin can’t get over it and tries to... end her life?’

The moment that thought crossed his mind, his heart twisted in agony. Sweat from his forehead dripped into his eyes, blurring his vision. His mind filled with the image of Juhua, always so distant and polite with him.

’Am I going to be the reason Yu Qin also...?’

If he couldn’t resolve this properly, he wouldn’t have any peace in the future. He wasn’t a child anymore; he had to understand that a single sentence could make someone laugh, while another could make them despair. He had to come up with a proper plan to solve this. Simply clenching his jaw and refusing wouldn’t work. Yu Qin was his cousin, after all.

He decided he had to find Yu Qin and talk things through with her properly, to tell her exactly how he felt. He couldn’t afford to be wishy-washy a second time.

Besides, what was there to be confused about? He knew his own heart perfectly well.

With this thought, his heart felt much lighter. He called out to Zhang Yang to pack up and head home. Twilight had fallen, and their mother had returned from gathering pig feed and was already making dinner.

Watching his brother’s rapidly changing expressions, Zhang Yang also made an important decision of his own.

After dinner, he told his parents he needed to go to his teacher’s place to ask a question, then headed to the schoolhouse to find Mr. Zhou.

Under the light of a dim oil lamp, Mr. Zhou listened as Zhang Yang asked him what to do if a girl insisted on marrying him, but he didn’t want to marry her. How could he change her mind without hurting her so much that she couldn’t bear it and tried to end her life?

At first, he stroked his beard and listened earnestly, but by the end, he nearly tore out a few hairs. He stared, dumbfounded, at his student. ’Could it be? Has he already captured a girl’s heart at such a young age?’

After asking his question, Zhang Yang put on a serious expression, ready to receive guidance. But no explanation came from his teacher. Instead, Mr. Zhou was just staring at him with a strange, probing look in his eyes.

Zhang Yang asked in confusion, "Sir, you don’t know either?"

’He’d always felt his teacher was all-knowing. A simple question like this shouldn’t have stumped him. Is this even harder than composing an essay?’

At a loss, Mr. Zhou cleared his throat and said, "Just tell her that you are both still young, and it is too early to be considering such things. Not to mention that one cannot defy your parents’ wishes or the rules of propriety. In the few years it will take to grow up, countless things could change..."

Zhang Yang suddenly realized his teacher had misunderstood. He quickly interrupted him and explained the whole story about his brother from beginning to end.

Mr. Zhou finally breathed a sigh of relief. Chuckling, he shot the boy a sideways glance and said, "You gave me a scare! I really thought you’d won a girl’s heart at such a tender age."

Zhang Yang smiled, embarrassed.

Mr. Zhou thought for a moment, then a slight smile touched his lips. He then coached Zhang Yang on exactly what to say.

Zhang Yang was overjoyed to hear it. He quickly told his teacher that he wouldn’t be coming to class tomorrow; he was going to his grandmother’s house to help his brother resolve this matter. Otherwise, his mother might have a falling out with her fourth brother, and she wouldn’t be able to visit her family home anymore.

Seeing him so concerned about his family, Mr. Zhou nodded in approval. He told him to go ahead and that if anyone from his family came asking, he would explain on his behalf.

The next day was supposed to be a rest day for the school. Normally, Zhang Yang would still go to listen to Mr. Zhou’s lectures. He still went to the schoolhouse today, but after a brief stop, he turned and headed for his grandmother’s house.

His grandmother lived in Little River Bend, about ten li away. He jogged the whole way there. His arrival startled his grandmother, who grabbed him and asked, "Yangzi, did something happen at home? Why have you come all by yourself?"

Zhang Yang was baffled. "Nothing’s wrong at home! I came to see you about something, Grandma."

His grandmother relaxed but then asked curiously, "What do you need to see me about? Why didn’t your mother come?"

Zhang Yang took the bowl of water his grandmother offered and GULPED it down in one go. He wiped the water from his mouth and then said to her, "My mom’s busy. I came because I want to have a little talk with Cousin Yu Qin, to ask her something."

His grandmother looked at her young grandson and asked doubtfully, "What do you want to ask Yu Qin? Look, you’d best not cause any trouble. Children shouldn’t meddle in adult matters. Your parents will handle this. If not them, you still have your brother. It’s not your place to say anything."