Chapter 146: Love? Pssh.
’He’s been silent for so long, but I didn’t even think he would be asleep.’ Kaelis thought, his fingers moving slowly through Lior’s hair, careful, almost absentminded, as his gaze stayed fixed on Ezra.
Ezra was asleep.
Actually asleep.
For a moment, Kaelis just watched him, like he was trying to confirm it was real.
Ezra Belloren didn’t sleep like this.
Not when they were out here. Not when there was even the slightest chance of danger.
He wasn’t supposed to be sleeping either, since he was a knight and he had to keep watch for any danger, but Kaelis let him.
He didn’t wake him.
Didn’t even consider it.
Kaelis knew there was a storm probably brewing inside the knight’s head right now, mostly about Helios.
Who was he kidding?
It’s definitely JUST about Helios.
Kaelis let out a quiet sigh, his hand pausing for just a second before continuing to stroke Lior’s hair. ’It’s honestly Helios’ fault too, I’m sure he knows Ezra looks up to him, he acts bothered by the fact that Ezra puts him on a pedestal.’
His jaw tightened slightly.
But really, Kaelis thought Helios enjoyed it very much.
To have someone as loyal to him as Ezra Belloren was, anyone would like that.
Anyone would want that kind of devotion.
Now, Helios was most likely going to start being more frustrated about it because he’s unable to live up to the impossible expectations Ezra has set.
Because whether Helios admitted it or not, and whether Ezra was aware of it or not—
Helios was just as attached to Ezra as Ezra was attached to Helios.
That’s why Kaelis found their relationship so... disturbing.
There was something off about it.
Something that didn’t sit right, no matter how he looked at it.
They were both co-dependent, but it didn’t seem like they were both aware.
Or maybe they were.
Maybe they just chose not to acknowledge it.
’And whether or not their feelings are romantic is another thing.’ Kaelis thought, his free arm crossing loosely over his chest as his eyes remained on Ezra. ’There’s a chance Helios might be Ezra’s first time, but that would mean...’
His gaze slowly dropped.
Down to the small weight leaning against him.
Lior.
’This child might be his but...’
Kaelis studied him more closely this time, quieter now, more deliberate.
One, Lior didn’t have golden eyes.
Two, Lior didn’t look like Helios at all.
There was no resemblance.
Not in his features, not in the way he carried himself, not even in something subtle Kaelis could latch onto and question.
Nothing.
So Lior’s father couldn’t have been a royal.
That was the logical conclusion.
And then again, Helios would’ve known better not to do anything that would risk his engagement with Alyce.
After all, Alyce was from a rich and powerful kingdom.
And Alyce also seemed pretty... in love with Helios.
Patient, even.
Willing to wait for him to be ready to get married despite their age.
Kaelis let out a quiet breath, leaning his head back slightly as his eyes drifted upward before returning to Ezra.
"Hah... romance is such a complicated thing. That’s why I avoid it."
His voice was low, almost lost to the night.
His gaze lingered.
On Ezra again.
Longer than it should have.
’He’s prettier when he’s not constantly glaring at me.’ Kaelis thought, the corner of his lips twitching faintly.
Even now, even like this, Ezra didn’t look like someone who should be out here fighting, covered in blood, standing at the front lines.
Even when Ezra was a knight, despite his firm body and muscles, there was always softness in his looks.
Something that didn’t match the way he fought.
Maybe it was because Ezra was an Omega.
Or maybe, no matter how much Ezra bulked himself up, he couldn’t erase his pretty face.
Kaelis exhaled slowly, his eyes narrowing just a bit as the thought settled deeper than expected.
Thinking about it now, in lighter notes, he couldn’t believe he had sex with Ezra Belloren.
The thought lingered.
It was uninvited.
And a little uncomfortable now that some time has passed.
Well, Kaelis didn’t even consider it sex.
Because he was only helping Ezra get through his heat quickly.
If anything, it was mostly a remedy.
Mostly for practicality rather than pleasure.
That’s what it was supposed to be.
’It would be nice to have actual sex with him—’
Kaelis stilled.
His hand stopped in Lior’s hair.
Wait.
What?
Kaelis immediately shook his head, brows furrowing as if trying to push the thought away physically. ’All the teasing has gotten to my head. What am I even thinking?’
His expression twisted slightly.
’Him?’
His gaze flicked back to Ezra without meaning to.
Then lingered again.
’Having genuine sex with Ezra? Something aside from helping Ezra?’
That was laughable.
Laughable because Kaelis had long forgotten about any silly feelings he might’ve thought he had.
’All my priority now is the investigation, and the only reason I involved him is that he’s smart.’
That was all.
He wasn’t going to derail himself, nor his thoughts.
No matter how tempting it was.
· ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Ezra woke up, and when he did, he saw Kaelis just absentmindedly staring out, with Lior asleep on his lap.
For a moment, he didn’t move. His body felt heavy, like sleep hadn’t really rested him at all, just pulled him under long enough to quiet everything.
Now that he was awake again, it all came rushing back.
Kaelis didn’t notice.
Or maybe he did, and didn’t say anything.
Ezra didn’t speak.
Neither of them didn’t.
The silence between them wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t forced either.
It just... Ezra couldn’t explain it, but he was grateful for the quiet sitting between them.
Ezra was still, more or less, in shock.
In denial.
There were too many feelings inside him, all tangled together in a way that made him want to shut them out completely.
He didn’t like any of them.
Not the frustration, not the doubt, not the quiet disappointment that kept creeping in, no matter how much he tried to push it away.
’I want to understand.’
The thought came out of nowhere, soft but stubborn.
Despite Ezra’s negative thoughts about Helios earlier, he woke up again, trying to convince himself... well, he didn’t know.
That was the worst part.
He didn’t even know what he was trying to convince himself of.
Why did he even have to convince himself of anything?
His brows pulled together slightly as that question settled in his head. It didn’t make sense. None of this did.
He had every right to be upset with Helios for being—
Ezra stopped himself.
His jaw tightened, and he looked away, like even thinking it would make it too real.
He didn’t even want to think of the word.
’He... got mad at me for choosing something else, but he’s been keeping secrets.’
That part stayed.
It wouldn’t go away.
The only difference between them was that Helios knew Ezra so much that he knew when Ezra had secrets.
He always noticed.
Always pushed, always asked, always made Ezra say things he didn’t even realize he was hiding.
But Ezra trusted Helios so much that he didn’t think Helios would constantly hide things from him.
That was what didn’t sit right.
Was it really because Ezra put him on a pedestal?
Was it Ezra’s fault?
No... why would it be his fault?
The thought came out sharper this time, more defensive.
In the first place, Ezra came back because Helios said the kingdom was having problems, but then Helios didn’t tell him all the problems.
His fingers curled slightly against his lap, the frustration settling deeper in his chest.
Did he regret telling Ezra?
Did he regret asking him to come back?
Ezra swallowed, his gaze dropping.
There were so many questions—
A little too many.
They kept stacking on top of each other, one after another, until it felt like he couldn’t even think properly anymore.
And he couldn’t fully think about them because, well, they’ve arrived.
The carriage had slowed at some point, but Ezra hadn’t noticed. His mind had been too loud, too caught up in everything, and he didn’t want to deal with it.
It wasn’t until the door suddenly opened, light spilling into the carriage, and cool air brushing against his skin, that it pulled him out of it.
The shift was immediate.
Not just physically, but mentally too.
Like whatever space he had to think just snapped shut.
The movement stirred Lior slightly, and Kaelis finally shifted as well, the quiet moment breaking without either of them saying a word.
"Prince Kaelis, Ezra Belloren, the king is waiting for you."