Chapter 200
~ NYSSA
That night, I dreamed again.
I dreamed of that same fucking forest and that blood red moon, I dreamed of blood and of the metallic taste in my mouth.
When I woke, my stomach was rumbling loudly and my chest felt tight from a deep seated thirst that I came to understand was not for water.
Against my better judgment, I glanced at the other side of the bed. It was neat and untouched, letting me know that Rowan had not come back to bed last night.
I knew he wouldn’t, but I still felt my insides churn at the sight.
"You can do this, Nyssa," I whispered to myself as I dragged my feet out of bed. "You are still you... at least for now."
I got myself dressed for the day and made my way down the stairs.
Rowan was in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of coffee, his eyes staring into the distance with a faraway look. He didn’t even notice me approach until I stood on the opposite side of the counter and cleared my throat.
His eyes snapped to me instantly and I watched him, waiting for any sign of recognition or softness, but all I met was a blank stare.
"Hey," I whispered softly.
He gave me a once over. "Where are you going?"
The question confused me a bit. I had to take out my phone and check the date to make sure it was still a weekday. "Work, where else?"
"You’re not going to work today."
I frowned, hands crossed over my chest. "You’re joking, right?"
"You can’t go, not until we figure this thing out. There are innocents in that building."
His words hit me like a slap in the face and I scoffed, trying to hide the sting of what he implied. "I am not going to just start killing random people to drink their blood, Rowan. For fucks sake."
"I never said that."
"You might as well have," I snapped. "I know this is difficult for you, but how do you think I fucking feel? Do you think I knew about this and hid it? Do you have any idea how confused I am right now? I feel like my whole life has been a lie and you’re the one person who should actively be on my side but you’re not."
His expressionless mask cracked an inch. "Nyssa—"
"No, I’m talking!" I cut him off sharply. "I know you’re worried for your people, and I respect that. You want to care for them, and you want to keep them safe, even from me, but I’m your mate for fucks sake. I’m the one you made a fucking promise to and you said that you loved me! I know that everyone else will see me like a monster but you of all people..."
My voice cracked as tears welled up at the back of my eyes.
A hard lump formed in my throat and no matter how hard I tried to push it back, it would not fucking budge. My eyes burned from the sting of the tears and I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand violently.
"You know what? Fuck this," I grumbled, turning on my heels. "Forget I said anything."
I barely made it two steps towards the door when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist, pulling me to a complete halt.
I opened my mouth to tell him off, but before I could even get the words out, Rowan pulled me into him. One arm wrapped around my back and the other tangled in my hair as he buried my face into his chest.
He smelled like home, and he felt so warm. His hold was love and comfort personified and the tears I had kept at bay started to free fall.
"I’m sorry," he whispered, lips ghosting against the top of my head. "I didn’t... I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I thought that if I didn’t react then you wouldn’t be as bothered. I thought I was helping."
I pulled back slightly, staring up at him accusingly. "You didn’t sleep in our bed last night."
"Because I was up the entire time researching everything I could find on vampires. I wanted to know how to help. I wanted to see what was out there on your father," he paused for a moment before adding. "I also thought you’d need space to process everything."
I sniffled. "I didn’t want space, I wanted you."
I saw something shatter in his eyes at my words and he pulled me back into his chest, his lips lingering on my forehead.
"I’m sorry," he whispered. "So fucking, sorry, Nys."
I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, just existing in each other’s arms.
In that brief moment, I felt like I could finally fucking breathe and I truly believed that everything would be fine, eventually.
I pulled away first, and Rowan wiped the remnants of my tears away with his thumb. He tipped my chin up with one finger and kissed me softly—sweetly.
"I made you breakfast if you’re hungry."
My stomach took that as a cue to rumble and Rowan laughed, leading me towards the table.
He slid over a plate of scrambled eggs and toast towards me before bringing out a small pink bottle with flowers painted over it.
"Where did you get this?" I asked gesturing to it and he shrugged.
"I got it a few days ago. I saw it in a store and knew you’d like it. I should have given it to you since."
The bottle was pretty and it even had a straw at the top that was the same shade of pink as the rest of it. The straw cover was in the form of a little wolf and I could not help but smile at the reference.
I took off the cover and brought it to my lips only to stop short when a familiar metallic and earthy scent wafted up to my nose.
"Is that..." He nodded slowly. "How? When?"
He shrugged helplessly. "The vampire said you’d need it. I went out hunting this morning and found a small animal—don’t ask me which, I know how you feel about them."
"You don’t care that I’ll be drinking blood?"
His answer came without hesitation. "No."
There was so much more I wanted to say but I didn’t get the chance to because the front door slammed open loudly.