The Mad Rat’s Lab

“Sir Orc!”

“...”

“Sir Orc, look there!”

“...What’s up now, Diq?” I’m truly not in the mood for his usual chatter.

“That black monster. I haven’t seen it before. Is it new?”

“Hmm…? New monster?”

Posing as the calm and expert leader I am, I calmly turn my head to look towards the direction Diq is pointing, but internally, I start screaming.

Please, no! Anything but that! I’m tired of new stuff!

Isn’t it enough that we had to deal with that white monster, the one able to use that divine skill despite dealing no damage, or the change in the cat’s AI? Why do I have to be the one who encounters the new stuff?

Why is it always me!? Why can’t I have a single normal dungeon invasion without the Evil Mastermind messing with me!? Can’t he leave me alone even for a single day!?

My muscles twitch in fear at a sudden nightmarish thought. My eyes automatically move towards the ceiling, towards an ‘imaginary camera’ filming our every move. Is the Evil Mastermind… Is he watching us right now? Is he pulling the strings behind the curtains to ensure we suffer…?

The simple thought makes me tremble.

No, no…. It’s impossible. Knowing his personality, he wouldn’t stand still. He would have shown himself up by now, proudly announcing his new inventions as he torments me as he always does.

As he always does…

Anything and everything to torment me even further!

“W-what are we going to do, Sir Orc? It’s coming our way!” Diq panics.

“Huh, huh, huh! Don’t worry, Diq. Everything will be fine. Nothing will stop us today!” I pump my biceps, using the gesture to hide my expression. “Oh, I know. Dag!”

Dag takes a step back after being called, but still responds to my call.

“Yessir?”

“Go and deal with that monster,” I say, pointing at the black monster.

The black monster is pretty small. It flies and emits black smoke around it. Inside this place, the Minitaur Queen’s territory, it has a significant mobility superiority because we can’t ignore the water canals as it does.

“W-what? Me…!? B-but I —”

“Go and show us how much you’ve learned since I recruited you. Show us if you’ve learned properly how to adapt and deal with the unknown.”

“B-but you’re our best fighter. It makes sense that you’re the one who—”

“I must keep an eye on the Boss. Or what, do you want to do it instead? Will you take responsibility if the boss swoops in in the middle of the combat and someone dies?!” I glare at him, lowering my guttural voice even further, and push him towards the monster. “Stop hesitating and go!”

“Uaaah…!”

Unable to resist my force, Dag unwillingly moves forward. He looks back once, then twice, before gulping and confronting the new, never-before-seen enemy.

“Huh, huh, huh! Go, Dag! Show us what you’re made of!”

To let others experience the worst part and reap the benefits later. The best strategy ever.

The Minitaur Queen? Not a problem. It’s annoying and strong, but precisely because it’s strong, it is one of the few monsters I enjoy fighting. I’d rather face ten Minitaur Queens simultaneously than confront that single and unknown black ash-like monster.

Dag hesitates, but the monster doesn’t. As soon as it spots our archer orc, the monster starts flying towards him.

Forced into battle, Dag prepares his bow and starts firing.

“Go, go, Dag! Show the Evil Mastermind’s monster what you’re made of!” Diq cheers next to me.

“Hmmm… Not bad.”

Dag keeps his distance from the monster. He moves erratically, forcing the monster to decelerate and change directions. Meanwhile, he keeps shooting arrow after arrow. But despite his best efforts, the monster’s superior mobility makes it impossible for him to stay away for long.

I give him a six out of ten. Not bad, but not great. He has improved significantly since the first day.

“Dag! If you can’t keep the distance as an archer, you’re done for! Focus less on dealing damage and more on your Immobilizing Shot!”

“That’s because I don’t have any frontline! Allow me to use my monsters!”

“No. You can’t always rely on your monsters. Fight like a man! Fight by yourself! Huh, huh, huh!”

“I-I’ll do my best, Sir Orc… But that monster dodges my shots…”

“Then aim better! Don’t aim at its current position, aim where it will be when your arrow hits!”

If you can’t win, it’s because you haven’t tried hard enough. Try harder! Try again, and never surrender! That’s the true orc spirit!

As soon as Immobilizing Shot’s cooldown ends, Dag uses the skill once more. This time, he follows my instructions and doesn’t waste time with other attacks or skills, and his shot hits its target…

…It doesn’t.

The arrow, shot with precision, is aimed at the monster’s hitbox. But, right before it touches the monster’s black skin, the arrow turns around in an impossible semicircle, avoiding the monster and continuing its path as if nothing had happened.

“What!?” shouts Dag, “Impossible!”

Huh… Dag was right. The monster had an evasion skill. Forced misses due to the game’s mechanics are awful.

Next to me, Diq tries to shake my arm, but my body stands still like a rock. “A-aah. Sir Orc! This is bad!”

“I know.”

All the damn monsters ever created by the Evil Mastermind have one trick or another. If that monster hasn’t attacked until now or hasn’t shown anything of note yet, there must be a reason. The monster hasn’t shown any ranged or utility skills so far, except for that evasion, which means it’s designed for melee.

In this dungeon, a monster like that either explodes upon contact or something even worse.

“A-aaah…!”

Dag, not expecting the monster to evade the attack, is unable to run away in time. The black monster chuckles annoyingly and slams into his body, grabbing onto his clothes.

A dense black fire suddenly bursts forth, engulfing Dag whole.

“A-aah! I’m burning!! ??”

Tsk. Is that all? I thought Dag was going to die. Isn’t that a black-tinted Ignite? That fire is nothing.

“Don’t be a wimp! Hold it like a man and get rid of that pest already!” How long do we have to spend on a weak monster like that one?

“But Sir Orc! The fire, is stacking…! My HP!!!”

“He’s right, he’s right, Sir Orc! Look at his HP bar!”

That fire… It’s one skill. How weak is Dag? How can his HP fall like that? This is why ranged Champions are pure garbage.

“Just get rid of that bastard, you fool,” I growl. “And don’t come this way!”

“S-save me, Sir Orc.”

“No! Don’t come near us. Stop!” I wave my hand, but Dag ignores my order.

Tsk. Yet another player who loses their mind when in danger.

Why can’t they accept their failures and instead do their best to share their fate with their teammates?

Worst yet. The Evil Mastermind designed that monster! Don’t bring it anywhere near us until we know how dangerous it is! Are you trying to kill us all with you!?

“That fool…! Everyone, run before it’s too late.”

I order everyone to run away from Dag, just in case. Diq and Krut know the drill and were already expecting my order, so they’re quick to react. But our support monsters aren’t as quick as those two.

The black fire affecting Dag spreads to the troll. Then, it jumps to one of the orcs. As more of our group is affected, the fire spreads faster and faster, like a virus.

I knew this monster wouldn’t be easy to deal with! It’s created by the Evil Mastermind to torment me! To place my comrades in such a situation where I can’t help them… How nasty! Tasteless! And dreadful!

“Don’t follow us, Dag! You’re going to kill us with you! You’re spreading the fire!”

“S-sir Orc, don’t l-l-leave me…! Save meeeee!”

The black flames spread from the back to the front, inevitably approaching Diq, Krut, and me.

He’s lost his mind! He’s going to get us all infected and killed at this rate!

“Stoooooop! Don’t you want to die an honorable death!? Stop putting your comrades in danger! Don’t you know that an orc who puts their comrades in arms in danger is the worst kind of orc?”

All my body tingles, warning of the incoming danger. The damage is too big, and too many of our support mobs have been infected. If the fire spreads to us, it’ll be our end. We can’t allow that to happen!

“B-but I don’t want to die…!”

Haaaa… How can I convince this fool? “Diq, Krut! Order your monsters to stop chasing after us and form a barrier between us and the others!”

“Y-yes, Sir Orc! I’ll do as you say!”

“Alright.”

My two deeply loyal subordinates follow my orders, and an orc barrier forms behind us. Like a wall, they block the incoming horde of fire-infected monsters. Soon, the black flames spread even to them.

“Huh…”

Only Diq, Krut, and I survived.

“Sir Orc! Don’t leave me here!” Dag tries to push his way through the orc barrier. He can’t give them orders, so he can’t make them move, but he does his best to push through them. He’s like an infected man in a zombie movie, refusing to accept his doomed fate and putting his comrades in danger.

From more than twenty meters away, I shout at him, “Dag. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.”

“What sacrifice!? You’re just ditching me!”

“Sir Orc… Can’t we save him somehow?”

“Hmm…”

The fool hasn’t gotten rid of that ash monster yet. As long as that thing survives and remains attached to him, there’s no way to save him. If it were me, I would have killed the moment it stuck to me, ending this before it started.

We can help Dag by killing that monster, but we don’t know how close we can get without getting infected. Area attacks don’t guarantee Dag’s survival: he has taken too much damage from the fire.

Saving him is too risky.

“Listen to me.” I pat my chest, grabbing Dag’s attention. For a moment, he stops struggling to cross the orc barrier. “Doesn’t fire put out water? Jump into the water!”

“...Will it really work?” Dag looks at the water channel with suspicion.

No. This is a game, not the real world. “Yes! When have I ever been wrong? Huh, huh, huh!”

“O-okay… I’ll do as you say...”

Reluctantly, Dag gawks at the water speeding through the channel below his feet. He takes one step close and gives one last resigned glance at me before jumping inside.

Soon, he falls into the water, which quickly drags him away. When his Champion leaves my sight, he’s still engulfed in black fire.

“Diq, Krut…” I say in a grave tone. “Our comrade Dag has regrettably left us.”

“B-but we can still go and save—”

“No, Diq. It’s too late.”

“The leader is right. It’s too late.”

Dag forgot the first rule of The Mad Rat’s Lab: keep your mind still, and kill the monster first.

We mourn the loss while keeping a close eye on the burning monsters. Without the origin nearby, the fire stops spreading so wildly and slowly dies out. Almost all orcs die. Only the troll, the first one to catch the fire disease, is doing pretty okay.

This fire… So nasty! A machination worthy of the Evil Mastermind!

How can he come up with such horrifying means to inflict pain and despair? Once or twice is understandable, but… EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. MONSTER!? Does he have a master's in psychological torture!?

My muscles start twitching in excitement. Everything went well this time.

Huh, huh, huh! My plan worked for the first time! Using my subordinate to suffer in my place feels great! For the first time, I wasn’t the one who suffered, but someone else! Huh, huh, huh!

I plan our next moves while flexing.

“Alright. Let’s go find the other access cards, shall we? We’ll start in the secret area and continue with the meat mountain. Nothing will stop us today! Huh, huh, huh…! Green Gang!”

““GREEN GANG!””

It doesn’t sound as good when one person is missing. The impact and the volume aren’t quite there.