Lazy Salvation

The couple spent what remained of the three months acting as real tourists in Esperra, traveling from town to town, talking to villagers, observing their lives.

They visited festivals, listened to storytellers, and celebrated nothing in particular.

As for their nights, they always ended with them under the same covers.

For both of them, it was a long-overdue respite their wary minds had been craving for longer than either had admitted. Seraphine managed a faint smile more often than not.

But like all good things, it came to an end.

Despite actively avoiding the date, something else was counting it for him.

The Lethargy of Time was screaming in the back of his mind, straining to slow things by even a nanosecond before the inevitable. It was as futile as an ant attempting to part the ocean.

Ashen ignored it and spent the last hours of the loop exactly as he intended.

They sat on a hill above the last town they had visited, the evening light settling over the rooftops below.

"Ahh~ that was a lovely honeymoon. Thank you, dear husband~" Seraphine stretched like a languid cat and nestled deeper into his side.

"You're talking like this is the last break we'll get. And 'dear wife'... you've been calling me husband for a while now. What will you call me when we're actually married?"

She huffed. "Every village we visited kept addressing us that way, so it stuck. Why, do you mind? You're no better — 'my wife this, my wife that' — grinning like an idiot the whole time."

"Can't argue with that." He reached for her cheek and started softly caressing it. "And I don't mind one bit."

Seraphine closed her eyes and sighed with contentment. "...For your other question, it's obvious from your face that you've already decided what to do after what Uncle Dorian said."

"...And what am I going to do?"

"You're going to save me. You're going to break this loop… and tear apart whatever schemes they set in your path."

"Oho… that much faith?"

"...We've lived together for more than half a millennium." Her voice softened. "I can say, with certainty, that I know you better than anyone. And I know you won't stop until you've done at least that much."

"Besides…" She glanced up, a teasing glint in her eyes. "Haven't you 'disciplined' me enough for not trusting you before? I've learned my lesson, daddy~"

"That's a good girl," he replied with a grin, leaning down to capture those teasing lips.

Puah…

"By the way," she added after a breath, "you should watch for traitors in the castle. I doubt that organization would pass up the chance to plant eyes on you."

"Indeed. They won't miss the chance to watch my gradual descent into insanity… and eventual lethargy. That's their signal to strike, after all."

"Hmm…"

He glanced down.

She was asleep. He kept his hand on her cheek anyway.

When she slipped into this kind of sleep, they usually woke in the next loop. She was definitely asleep, though.

Endure.

Endure.

Endure.

"Sweet dreams, love. I'll see you soon."

The warmth faded slowly beneath his palm.

And overcome.

*

*

*

If there was something Ashen hated more than an evil man, it was a self-righteous fool.

He had seen true evil in cultists, and that evil at least had the honesty of not pretending.

But this unsettled him more. Perhaps because, deep down, he was afraid of becoming one of them.

His goal was to save the world, after all. But the moment he imagined a choice with his loved ones on one side and the world on the other, his stomach turned.

…Because he knew.

He would choose them. And… he would let the world burn.

And that alone made him a hypocrite for ever thinking he could be its salvation.

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What truly terrified him, and what twisted his fear into something hateful, was the possibility that this answer might one day change. That he might stand at that same crossroads and choose differently.

…Choose the world …choose to cast someone he loved into the jaws of death out of 'necessity' and callously call it right.

That was what he couldn't forgive. Not in others, and certainly not in himself.

That was why he hated them with such intensity. Because that hatred also served as a blade, kept pressed to his own throat, ready to fall the moment he ever became like them.

In the end, it wasn't just hatred.

It was his own leash.

"That is why… can you imagine the amount of disgust I feel toward you right now, Regina?"

"..."

"Why so silent…? Where is that usual greeting? How did it go again…?"

"Oh yea." Ashen tilted his head with a slight smile, "My lord, it is to my utmost happiness to see you awake at last."

He parroted the phrase he always woke up to with a mocking tone, then his face went cold, and so did his tone.

"Well, my dear maid… It is to my utmost misery to once again wake up to your face."

"It seems that the lord had finally pieced things together. A congratulations is in order, I suppose." Regina's tone changed, too, not having to pretend anymore. "I wonder how many times this has been repeated before you realised your doomed existence?"

"Not much," he answered with a straight face. "But being made to coincidentally forget to pry into your memories is a dead giveaway."

"Oh… it seems that was my mistake for being too obvious in my concealment. But remarkable, nonetheless. As expected of the last Primordial. It is not a chance that only you survive amongst your siblings."

"Not as remarkable as you, though."

She tilted her head.

She tilted her head, not understanding.

"You are an Elder in the vampire hierarchy, right?"

"That is so."

"Then, to reach that rank, the vampire race must have invested countless resources in you, right?"

"...the race's existence is an undeniable variable to my ascent, but it is not all thanks to it."

Ashen nodded, "Then, Regina, as the headmaid of the man lording over an entire race, your life must be nice, no?"

"It is pleasant and peaceful most of the time. Even you, my lord, hold your temper when it comes to me, so I did not have any complaints."

"Good… good…" Ashen nodded in satisfaction before she cut him off.

"But," her eyes blazed with fury, "It is not the same for others!"

"We, vampires, are simply too overbearing in our ways. We take what we like and act as superiors to any other race. In fact, the demihuman empire would have been better off without us!"

"And above all…" She looked at him lounging on his throne, gazing at her with a faint smile, " We do not contribute to the cause."

"Cause?" he raised an eyebrow.

Her look turned pitying, "as a survivor of that era, you should know what I'm talking about… but, I suppose it is futile to talk to an individual who had already given up, lived in indulgence, and slept his worries away."

She nodded to herself, "as expected. Your life is better spent on the birth of that existence."

Seeing that she was done, he sighed, "So…"

"Are you willing to sacrifice the race that birthed you for this?"

"Yes."

"What about your parents…? I remember that they also worked in this castle. Are you also willing to cast them away?"

"...It is a necessary sacrifice."

"Your two little sisters? Those two cute maids who always followed you, asking for your guidance?"

"Their lives would serve a greater purpose."

"And of course… You would be willing to sacrifice the lord you swore loyalty to."

She resolutely nodded. "Many lives were lost for this… and many more will. Stopping because of loyalty would make their sacrifice meaningless."

"…I carry a mountain of corpses with me, Lord… so I will not stop until my conviction is fulfilled. If not for myself, then for the fallen."

Clap—clap—clap!

"Bravo! So inspiring, so courageous, so righteous!!"

"I'm so overwhelmed with emotion… You fucking harlot!"

"..."

Regina's stare sharpened into a glare. "I do not expect you to understand our grand ambitions or our true purpose… but to insult our convictions so casually—" she exhaled sharply, "I was a fool to consider you anything more than a useless maggot, even for a moment."

She finished with a deep curtsy. "Thank you for dispelling my last trace of doubt, Lord."

"Ah…" Ashen rolled his eyes, fingers dragging through his hair in frustration. "You've just given me another reason to hate your kind."

"How thoroughly has your conviction blinded you?

If not for your parents, your race, and their benevolence to you, can you even stand before me and talk about ambition?

You truly are allergic to witnessing the aftermath of your "convictions.

You don't doubt, you don't question, and you don't hesitate when sentencing everything you hold dear to death.

You wrap yourself in virtue like armor and march forward, convinced the world will thank you for every step they take… even as you grind it beneath your heels.

You don't listen because listening implies the possibility of being wrong. And you cannot afford that. Not after all the corpses you so proudly carry on your conscience.

No… do you even think about that? In your minds, you are the answer. The judge and the savior. You are all of the convenient roles that will allow you to do as you please.

Truly…" He let out a quiet breath. "The most dangerous kind of people aren't the most evil ones, but the more righteous ones."

A faint, humorless smile tugged at his lips.

"The moment they think killing you is right, they will do it in a heartbeat. If they have to destroy their own family, they would not hesitate. If they have to kill their entire race… then, to validate their self-righteousness… they will kill their entire race."

His gaze darkened.

"A man who knows he's evil can be reasoned with. He can be bargained with. But a man who believes he's righteous?" His lips curled in disdain.

"He'll burn the world… and call it salvation."

"Isn't right, maid?"

Regina's expression did not change throughout all of his speech. She just looked at him and shook her head, as if he just could not comprehend her motivation and never would.

"It seems that our thoughts are inherently parallel. We will never see eye to eye."

"That is delightful news," he smirked.

"Indeed," she nodded, and with her gesture, two maids entered the throne room with a chained Seraphine in tow.

"However, there is an unchangeable fact that you can never dispute, Lord."

Ashen did not pay her any more mind. The moment his consort arrived, his undivided attention was on her.

He saw how she struggled and moved.

Regina watched his reaction, and the pity in her eyes deepened… tinged now with disgust.

She saw how he broke the chains and hugged the human nun. She saw how she recoiled and tried to attempt suicide upon being hugged so intimately, and saw how he stopped her with a deep kiss.

Nevertheless, she still delivered the irrefutable fact, not minding if he had heard her or not.

"You can run from monsters.

You can run from darkness.

You can even run from yourself, Lord…

But you cannot outrun time.

Remember that. And drown in your own misery, until nothing of you remains but an empty shell."

BANG—!

thud—

Ashen's answer was a clean beheading, delivered without so much as a glance.

In the end, his lover's lips held far more value than the ramblings of a self-righteous fool.