Chapter 234 – Punishment Time?
We made it. The tough times are over, and we can finally rest.
Our conflict with the PSF ended with a few casualties. We lost the House of Imaginary Boundaries, Shinji’s probably in an interrogation room somewhere, though he should be fine, and Katja needs some time to recover.
Hecate and Ririna successfully disposed of the car we used to escape. They returned without being spotted, so now we’re temporarily safe. Hidden away from the rest of the world.
The apartment we’re staying at is much smaller than dorms at the PSF. It doesn’t have much more than a kitchen, a living room, and two bedrooms with enough bunk beds to fit all of us. The furniture is modern yet warm, giving the whole apartment a bright yet cozy feeling. Really makes me realize that our lives have changed.
Katja had yet to wake up, so I was in the bedroom next to her bed. It was bright outside with some light making it in through the curtains. Her wounds were gone after the kiss I gave her. It should be just a matter of time until she regains her energy and gets up.
“Katja…” I caressed her hand. “I hope you feel well when you wake up…”
I was only speaking to myself, but her face twitched in response. With a small groan. Her eyelids slowly opened up. “Nghh… Mhmm… I- Iroha?!”
“Ah!” I leaned over. “Katja! You wok-”
Ehh? The next second, I was staring at the ceiling. Katja suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pinned me down on the bed. Where did this half-dead girl get so much strength?!
“Ahh… Ahhh… I- I- Iroha!? I- is that really you? Am I dreaming?!” She ran her hands all over my body and nuzzled against my chest. You’re stretching your luck… “Iroha! Iroha Iroha Iroha Iroha Iroha Iroha! You’re back! You’re really back! Finally! We’re reunited once again! I needed you so badly!”
Intense! Too intense! Why is she like this? Is it a problem if I don’t stop her? No wait…
“Katja! Calm down! And don’t touch me down there! What happened to you? Where’s your dignity? Your sense of shame?” She’s always been such an upstanding girl…
There’s something strange in her eyes… I think she’s gone crazy!
“What’s the point of those?” She said. “Fufu… I don’t need any of that anymore… Not now that I have you!” She leaned closer to my neck and went in with her teeth. It stung a little and felt strangely possessive.
“Mhmm…!” Did I make that noise?! That’s so embarrassing! What’s even happening? “Ka- Katja! Snap out of it!” I grabbed her shoulders and managed to pull her back. “Ahh… *gulp…*”
She was staring at me in a daze, panting and with her cheeks red. Stop it… I’m too vulnerable right now… Now’s not the time to be showing that kind of face.
“Ah… D- did I get carried away?” Her voice trembled. There was something there that was still fighting to break out, but she looked calm. “I know I’m not your ideal partner for these kinds of things…”
“Nhh…” That’s not what I said…
“Let me explain… I used you as a source of strength to fight off the guilt in my heart… It was the only thing I could do to get the strength to rescue you… As soon as I saw you, that need took over, and I lost control. It will probably destroy me if I don’t do something, but it’s fine…”
“Do- do you need my help?”
“No… Even if I did it to save you, it was still my decision… Now that you’re back, I don’t care what happens to me anymore… I don’t want to force any more burdens on you.”
She slowly lifted her hands from my shoulders and sat back. Her hands lingered for as long as they could, but in the end, she let go.
Well… It looks like she hasn’t changed…
“Stop it.” I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back down into a hug. “You don’t need to suffer for me or for anyone anymore… I don’t know how you need me, and I can’t make any promises, but you should still ask. I’m here for you. Always.”
“…” She squeezed me back. “Are you? Really?”
“Of course…”
“That’s what I needed the most…”
She stayed still for a long time. A few minutes passed without a single movement. Did she run out of energy again? Apparently not since she sat back up again after a while.
“See? That wasn’t a big deal at all, was it?” I asked. “I want to understand you better. What is that guilt that you said you had to fight?”
“Well…”
“It’s that murderer stuff from before… They made you play some sort of survival game with other kids from your family. Am I wrong?”
“That’s right… I was never supposed to win. I was forced to participate as fodder to stimulate the growth of the heirs from the main family. Winning that game is the one sin I can never escape. Even if you try to accept me, I don’t think there will ever come a point that I’ll be completely free from it…”
“I see… I still accept you, of course, and I still like you…” My cheeks grew red. “It’s a bit embarrassing, but I’m gonna say it. It’s kinda hot. And it would be even hotter if you were actually a crazy serial killer who got off on being cruel. I just like the idea of me being the one person that you treasure instead of wanting to hurt.”
“I- Iroha?!” She averted her eyes. “I can’t believe it… You actually meant what you said back then… Miyuki was right… I’m sorry then… Despite all the sins I’ve committed, I still fall short of what you want…”
“No no… Raise your head. You’re making it sound like I rejected you. I know you’re not like that, but what I’m saying is that it doesn’t matter. Whether you’re riddled with guilt or you get crazy enough to pounce on me, it doesn’t matter. I still like you either way.”
“Iroha…” She let out a dreamy sigh, but I was starting to pick up momentum.
This has been on my mind for a while. I have to say it.
“And… No offense, but the fact that you even feel guilty about that is bullshit. I don’t care if you actually killed to win or not, because it doesn’t even matter. For one, you were forced to participate, right? They forced those rules on you. You didn’t do it because you wanted. Innocent.”
“And secondly, did you say you were put into the game as fodder? Then everything you did is just self-defense. Innocent again!”
“I don’t get how you can even feel bad.” I said. “You could act like the victim and I’d still be on your side!”
Her eyes widened. “I- I- I… *sigh…* What you’re saying makes sense… Shinji told me something similar a long time ago… But it doesn’t wash away how I feel…”
“I guess that’s why you’re still stuck, huh? That’s okay…” She was looking sad again so I pulled her head in again for a hug. “You can’t magically forget all that trauma. That’s not a problem… I guess what I want you to take away is that you don’t need to atone. You don’t need to let those feelings tie you down. It’s okay for you to do whatever you want. You don’t need to be a tool. You’re allowed to be happy. It’s all up to you.”
“Really? But if I were to ignore my sins and never look back, what would the others think of me? Would they want to be friends with someone that cold?” She whispered in my ear.
“Don’t you know them well enough by now to know they’d never turn their backs on you for something like that? Either way, I think you already know how I’d react. Even if you were cruel or cold, I’d still be there…”
“I understand…” She pulled back and looked me straight in the eyes. “I’ll try to live life as I please more from now on… But I need proof first… I don’t want everything I care about to be gone if I make a mistake. I want you to promise me you won’t ever leave me.”
“Ahaha… You’re so needy…” When did she become this type of girl?
“?!” I knocked her off balance and flipped her around, pinning her against the bed. “Mhm?!” I pressed my lips against hers and gave a nice, deep kiss.
“Muuahh! How’s that? Is that proof enough for you?”
“Th- that was too sudden…” She was red up to the ears and covered her mouth in shame. Ahh… She’s too cute! Get that hand out of there!
“Mhm!” I leaned in again and went for another kiss. And another and another and another. I can’t stop now! It’s too good! She squirmed adorably, but she was very into it… Katja Katja Katja!
“Wa- wait!” She forcefully moved her head away to catch her breath.
“What’s the matter? You don’t like it? You were very into it when you went after my neck!” So I gave hers a little peck as revenge. It’s her fault for leaving it exposed.
“Th- that’s… Ahhn~! That’s not it…” Her pitch got higher and more manic. “You need to make it hurt more! You’re too gentle! More, Iroha! Make it hurt! It’s what I deserve! Gyaahahahaha!”
“Oh…?”
Maybe she’s a bit too honest with her desires now…
…
A few hours later, we stepped out into the living room after we had enough time to regain our composure and make ourselves look presentable. They turned when the door opened, and a wave of joy spread when they saw Katja with me.
“Katja!” “You’re awake!” “It’s so nice to see…” “How are you feeling?” “Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”
They almost tackled her with how excited they were, but everyone stopped when I extended my hands towards her. It was like I was about to introduce her, so everyone raised an eyebrow.
“Uhmm… So… Yeah… New girlfriend.”
“Ughh… Of course she is…”