Striker of The Gods

As Caos got to his bedroom, he decided to take a look at his phone. Usually, people would not actually understand how good it can get to have a friend. The thing is, many people could actually tell you what it can actually mean. That is to say that his team was going to win lots of competitions next season. There was a week left to come back. At least, this would make it phenomenal.

As far as everything is concerned, he needed to do it for the glory. He knew that he needed to break the most beautiful records. That is to say that this power could get better. We're so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about. In that way, we can actually make it work.

The phone lay on the nightstand where he had left it. He picked it up, thumb sliding across the screen without much expectation. That is to say that there was something unique with this general foundation for love. There was a deep friendship between Caos and Qsicks. Notifications had piled up while he was outrunning Europe and then feeding the quiet hunger in the kitchen. Most were irrelevant. One chat, however, stood out Qsicks, the friend who always typed like he was building something sacred out of ordinary days.

Whatsapp:

Qsicks

Doing pretty good actually.

Physically, I've started to get back into sports again and it's honestly probably the best decision ever. Getting back into doing track and field and I"m also picking up basketball (again) for football (for the first time)

Mentaly, I'm doing pretty good. I've started to reorganize my environment which has had a positive outcome on my mental health. As I rid of the chaos and regain order, i've been feeling more clarity

Spiritually, I've been doing a bit better. I'm praying daily and I'm attending church alongside Bible study twice a week. Tomorrow I'm headed to a Jehova Witness event with my friend, and next week I'm visiting another church for a movie event.

Relationship, I'm working towards bettering myself. It's actually why I'm going to both events. The JW one is to consume positive data regarding women. I have a very negative viewpoint on women and it's just due to my experiences, what I've consumed, and things of that nature, so the aim is to surround myself with more "Christian" woman and woman who share similar values to me. I don't have any expectations but I figure since I'm on an info diet, i should consume from the real world and not strictly online

Purpose, is going good. I have my next song I plan on releasing alongside a bunch of other songs which are pretty good. I've also been posting on youtube a lot more. Today I didn't do mcuh work since I was consumed by the gym but I'm not complaining. Had such a really good workout today. But, I want to get myself financially set. I have a goal I want to accomplish and I 100% believe I can do it. Now more than ever

Grief, i've been doing okay. Actually these last two days I've been missing her oddly enough, or at least been thinking about her a bit more than usual. It's lessening, and I haven't done anything like crying in a while, but, sometimes here and tehre something small may remind me of her and I feel a small pit in my chest –

-- I've asked my friends to remove her on social media to solidify my decision of not going back or any hopes of that. I respect her decision and I don't live with regrets. I'm extremely grateful for the time we've spent and the lessons I learnt while with her, but reading the same book twice doesn't change the ending. I haven't changed since we broken up, and I can't speak for her. I need to focus myself on improving myself in the areas I lacked in

I've also been thinking about removing her family on social media as I'm still friends with them on a lot of platforms. I respect them, however, it's more so for myself than It is for them really.

As I continue to pray to God about it all, more and more I align myself with the decision to let her go. It's scary and rough, but it's honestly what I need.

Sexually, I've been coming to a couple of realizations.

Firstly, I'm not going to use body count as a metric of evaluation with my next partner(s) as It's very arbitrary and doesn't give enough data. My ex, with a higher-end body count treated me better than my cousin's girlfriend who was a virgin until him. That's when I realized it's more than just the number

1. The quality of the person matters more & their ability to pair bond
2. Previous patterns in relationships. Were their past partners all from hookups or relationships? Were those relationships toxic? etc
3. Social aspect -- Is there a negative connotation attached to your name, and will I be viewed negatively when showing that you are my partner? Also if I walk down the street am I gonna end up seeing someone you was previously with?

But in terms of myself, I've decided that I'm not going to indulge in parties, clubs, and things of that nature, especially drinking. I've had many chances to drink since the breakup and I've tried to pursue every single one---