Chapter 228: Not So Alone
Franz lay on his back and stared at the ceiling.
The room was dark. The curtains were drawn. The house was quiet in the way that only came after midnight, when everyone else was asleep and you were the only one still awake with your thoughts.
He reached out. His hand touched the space beside him.
Cold. Empty.
Arianne had been gone for less than a day.
Day one. And he already missed her.
He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling again.
A knock came at the door.
Soft. Almost too soft to hear. Franz sat up and listened. For a moment he thought he had imagined it.
Then another knock. A little louder.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked to the door in the dark. His feet were bare. The floor was cold.
He opened the door.
Lily and Leo were standing in the hallway.
They were wearing their pajamas. Lily’s had little stars all over them. Leo’s were plain blue, the same kind he always wore. Their feet were bare too. The hallway floor was cold, but they didn’t seem to notice.
Lily was holding her stuffed rabbit. The one with the floppy ear that she had slept with since Franz had known her.
Leo was holding something else.
"Uncle Franz," Lily said. Her voice was small. The kind of small that only came out at night, when the dark made everything feel bigger and scarier.
"What’s wrong?"
"Can we sleep with you?"
Franz looked at Leo. Leo didn’t look up. His fingers were wrapped around whatever he was holding.
"Leo is missing Aunt Aria," Lily added.
Franz looked closer at Leo’s hands.
It was the whale.
The stuffed whale Arianne had bought at the aquarium. During the trip when they had gone to see the fish and the dolphins and the tanks full of things that glowed in the dark. Leo had pressed his face against the glass and made faces at his own reflection. Lily had held Arianne’s hand.
Franz hadn’t noticed Leo carrying it all day. But Leo must have been holding onto it since she left.
Leo still didn’t look up. He just stood there, holding the whale, waiting.
Franz stepped aside and held the door open wider.
"Come in."
Lily didn’t wait. She walked past him, her bare feet silent on the floor, and climbed onto his bed. She settled on the left side. The side Arianne usually slept on.
Leo followed slower. He stopped at the edge of the bed and looked at it for a moment. Then he climbed up. He sat in the middle, his legs crossed, the whale tucked against his chest.
Franz closed the door.
He walked back to the bed and lay down on the right side. The side he always slept on.
Lily was already pulling the blanket up to her chin. Leo was still sitting up, the whale in his lap, not moving.
Franz looked at them. Two small shapes in the dark. Their breathing was still uneven from the walk down the hallway. They had probably been lying awake in their own bed, staring at their own ceilings, missing the same person he was missing.
He smiled. At least he wouldn’t feel so alone tonight.
He reached over and pulled the blanket over Leo’s legs. Leo didn’t react. But he didn’t push it away either.
Lily shifted. She turned on her side to face him.
"Uncle Franz."
"Mm."
"I’m excited for our trip."
"Me too."
"The one with snow. And the lights."
"I know which one."
Lily was quiet for a moment. Then she spoke again, softer this time.
"Mommy and Daddy went on trips without us too."
Franz went motionless. He didn’t interrupt.
"They went to cities. For meetings and conferences. Sometimes they stayed for days." Lily’s voice was soft, the way it got when she was remembering something from before. "They left us with Grandma Jess and Grandpa Paul."
Leo’s fingers tightened around the whale.
"We stayed at their house," Lily continued. "It was fine. Grandma made pancakes. Grandpa let us stay up late."
She paused.
"But we missed them. Every time."
Leo was quiet. Lily kept talking.
"Daddy always brought us things," she said. "When he came back."
She held up her fingers, counting.
"A keychain from one city. A snow globe from another. A scarf from somewhere cold."
Franz listened. His chest felt tight.
"Leo got a small statue once. From a city with a famous bridge." Lily looked at her brother. "Do you still have it?"
Leo nodded. He didn’t type. Just nodded.
"Daddy said he picked them out himself," Lily said. "He said he thought about us the whole time he was gone."
Franz realized something.
Those souvenirs weren’t random. Keychains from specific cities. Snow globes from specific places. Scarves from cold regions. Statues from landmarks.
Alex had thought about his children the entire time he was away. He had walked through airport gift shops and hotel lobbies and looked at things and thought, Lily would like this. Leo would like that.
Franz swallowed. His throat was dry.
Lily shifted closer to him on the bed.
"Uncle Franz."
"Mm."
"Will you and Aunt Aria have trips without us too?"
Franz blinked. "I don’t know. Maybe."
Lily nodded. Like this was the answer she expected.
"Can Leo and me come?"
Franz looked at her. Her face was serious in the dark. She wasn’t joking.
"We’ll behave," Lily said quickly. "We won’t be loud. We won’t ask for things. We’ll just... be there."
Franz’s chest tightened again.
"Why do you want to come?" he asked. His voice came out softer than he meant it to.
Lily was quiet. She looked at Leo.
Leo reached for his tablet on the nightstand.
The screen lit up, casting pale blue light on his face. He typed. Slower than usual. His fingers hesitated between letters, like he was trying to find the right words.
He turned the screen toward Franz.
WE LOVE GRANDMA JESS AND GRANDPA PAUL. BUT WE MISS MOMMY AND DADDY WHEN THEY GO ON TRIPS.
Franz read the words. Then he read them again.
Leo’s face was still. But his eyes were wet. Not crying. Just wet. Like he was holding something back.
Lily spoke again. Her voice was smaller now.
"We don’t want to miss you and Aunt Aria too."
Lily shifted closer. Her shoulder pressed against his arm.
"Uncle Franz."
"Mm."
"I know we aren’t yours and Aunt Aria’s. Not really."
Franz opened his mouth. Closed it. He didn’t know what to say.
"But can we be your babies?" Lily asked. Her voice was so small now. "Until you have the real one?"
Leo nodded. His fingers were wrapped around the whale, holding it tight.
"We’ll be good," Lily added. "We won’t be trouble."
Franz didn’t answer right away. His throat was too tight. His chest felt like someone was pressing down on it.
He reached out. He pulled Lily closer. Then Leo. He gathered them both against his chest, the whale pressed between them, soft and worn from being held.
He kissed Lily’s head. Then Leo’s. His lips lingered there for a moment.
"You are not ’not really’ my children," he said. His voice came out rough. He didn’t care. "You are the precious children of this family. You don’t have to ask."
Lily was quiet for a moment. Then she pressed her face into his chest.
Leo’s hand found Franz’s arm. Held on.
He could feel their heartbeats. Lily’s fast and light. Leo’s slower, steadier. They fit against him like they had always fit, like there had been a Franz-shaped space in their lives waiting to be filled. He held them tighter. Not because they needed it. Because he did.
The room was dark. The bed was warm. The whale was soft between them.
Franz closed his eyes.
He still missed Arianne. The empty space beside him still felt cold.
But the empty side of the bed didn’t feel so empty anymore.
Lily spoke again after a long silence. Her voice was muffled against his chest.
"Uncle Franz."
"Mm."
"Can you tell us a story?"
"What kind of story?"
"About the snow trip. Tell us what we’re going to do."
Leo pulled back slightly. He looked at Franz. Waiting.
Franz thought for a moment.
"There will be snow," he said. "Lots of it. Everywhere you look, white."
"How deep?" Lily asked.
"Up to your knees. Maybe deeper."
Lily gasped. "Leo’s knees or my knees?"
"Both."
Leo’s eyes widened. Just a little.
"There will be a cabin," Franz continued. "With a fireplace. And windows that look out at the mountains."
"Can we see the lights from the windows?" Lily asked.
"If we’re lucky. If not, we’ll go outside and look up."
Leo typed on his tablet. The screen glowed in the dark.
I WANT TO SEE THE GREEN ONE.
"The green one," Franz said. "We’ll find it."
AND THE PURPLE ONE.
"And the purple one."
Lily yawned. "What else?"
"There will be hot chocolate. With marshmallows. The big ones."
"Every day?"
"Every day."
Leo typed again.
CAN WE BUILD A SNOWMAN?
"Yes."
CAN WE THROW SNOW?
"Yes."
AT LILY?
"Hey!" Lily pushed at Leo’s shoulder. Leo almost smiled.
"At each other," Franz said. "But not in the face."
Leo nodded. Serious. OKAY.
Lily yawned again. Her eyes were closing.
"Uncle Franz."
"Mm."
"I’m glad we’re your babies."
Franz’s chest hurt.
"Me too," he said.
Lily’s breathing slowed. Her hand relaxed against his arm.
Leo was still awake. His eyes were on Franz, watching.
Franz looked at him.
"You okay?"
Leo nodded. Then he typed on his tablet one more time. The screen was dimmer now, the battery running low.
THANK YOU FOR LETTING US STAY.
Franz reached out and ruffled Leo’s hair.
"Always," he said. "You don’t have to ask."
Leo nodded. Then he closed his eyes.
The tablet screen went dark.
Franz lay there in the dark, one arm around Lily, the other resting on Leo’s back. The whale was somewhere between them, soft and forgotten now that its job was done.
He thought about Arianne. About the car driving away. About the week ahead.
He thought about the twins. About their parents. About the souvenirs Alex had brought home from every trip.
He thought about Lily asking to be their baby. About Leo holding the whale.
He closed his eyes.
He still missed her. But the bed didn’t feel so cold anymore.