Master of Minds, Master of Me

Finally, it’s Friday. In couple of hours, I'll get to go home. I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now. I’m happy to see my family again. Happy that I can go back where I belong.

But my heart aches too. For the fact that I’m not going to see him anymore. Not in this life, and not in others to come. Well, of course, I can get a glimpse of him during the coronation as I have in previous loops. But I just think it’s better that I won’t see him at all. I should just forget everything that happened here and get back to my righteous path.

I’m strolling around the garden one last time. One part of me wants to slip into Felix’s secret garden. But I won’t, I shouldn’t. I should not be too greedy. I walk toward the stables, wanting to say goodbye to Hans. But I find the stables empty.

Crap. It’s pretty late on Friday, so he might be off duty already. I should have thought about that and come to visit him earlier. Well, I hope I run into him sometime back home if he visits his cousin again. I turn to head back to my room. I guess it really is time to leave this place. Leaving somehow feels rather bittersweet.

If I’m wrong for wanting you, I’ll happily sin again.

For some reason, Felix’s words from yesterday echo in my mind. Why would he say something like that? And I actually regret how we parted. I should have thanked him better. He has done so much for me, and I was barely even kind toward him. Of course, he has tricked me and pestered me with his mind games pretty much, so I’m not sure, should I be more angry or grateful, or both?

I open my room door. I already packed all my stuff, including all the stupid notes and pawns he has given me. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t throw them in the trash.

My body freezes when I see another chess piece on my desk. I thought he wouldn’t leave them anymore. Not when I’m going to leave.

Wait.

That is not a pawn.

I take a step closer to my desk, hoping I just saw it wrong from a distance. I feel my heart beating louder in my chest.

It’s a queen.

Please, please let this be just some stupid prank from him.

I grab the queen and lift the note beneath it. I can’t hear anything else than my heart thumping loudly in my ears as I flip the note.

I wasn’t even playing cards, but somehow I pulled a Queen.

I just stare at his words, and I notice my hand starting to shake.

Surely he means just that he finally found himself a Queen among the other candidates. Surely he isn’t meaning me.

Right?

A sudden knock from the door makes my heart leap to my throat, and the note drops from my hand. It must be Milna coming to fetch me to my carriage.

‘’Come in.’’ I say with a shaky voice.

Please be Milna. Please don't be Felix.

But I see Baroness Alante entering the room. What is she doing here?

‘’Good evening, Lady Lorelia.’’

I bow at her. ‘’Good evening, Baroness Alante. May I ask what brought you here?’’

Her smile toward me feels weird; I can’t quite read it.

‘’I came to fetch you.’’

‘’Fetch me? Where? My carriage should be arriving soon.’’

She looks a little uncomfortable.

‘’Your Highness is waiting for you in the throne room.’’

‘’Throne room? Why would I meet him there?’’

I think I know, but I just keep hoping this is just some huge misunderstanding.

‘’It’s the custom.’’

‘’What custom?’’

‘’Even though His Highness isn’t officially a King yet. But it’s a custom that the King receives his new Queen in the throne room.’’

I stop breathing, and my heart stops beating. Surely I just heard her wrong?

‘’Are you saying that His Highness made me his Queen?’’

She just nods.

‘’Why? I’m sure my results weren’t good enough.’’

‘’That you need to ask His Highness. I’m just here to escort you. I’m sure he will explain everything.’’

Okay, maybe this is just some misunderstanding. Maybe I'll just go see him, say more firmly that I don’t want to be a Queen, and then he lets me go home.

Right?

I just nod and follow her through the halls. The trip to the throne room feels forever. I know that the candidates resided pretty far from the main building, but I feel like these halls and yards that we cross are endless.

I’m really not going to be her Queen. Surely I’m not going to be the one he will kill. Felix wouldn’t kill me.

Well, maybe Felix wouldn’t. But if his rampage really is the cause of his three affinities going out of control, maybe it doesn’t matter what Felix thinks. If he has no control over his body, he will end up killing me. I wonder how he is going to kill me.

Will he sink his sword through my heart? I actually have experienced that. Not the worst way to die. But not the best either. It takes time after the heart stops completely pulsing. And you are just bound to watch the sword impaling you, as the blood slowly stops circling through your body, and just spilling out from the chest. It hurts.

Or is he going to kill me with his electricity magic? That I haven’t experienced, but I would imagine that being pretty painful too.

Baroness Alante opens a huge double door and takes a step back, letting me walk in and shuts the door behind me. I’m faced with a huge room, fancy pillars decorate the otherwise empty hall. In the back, there is a wide staircase, and on top of it lies a huge throne. And Felix is lazily sitting on it. His left elbow is on the armrest, and his head is leaning against his hand. I can’t see her face from this far. But it’s clear even from here that he is not going to just laugh and tell me this is all a joke.

I just stand there frozen. Why is there no one else in the room? Surely there should be someone. Some people welcome me or something. But there is no one. Only my inevitable doom before me. Watching me.

‘’Come here, pretty flower.’’

Even from a distance, his voice is strong and penetrating. Just a few words from him sends goosebumps all over me. I force my body to move. But my steps are slow. Like I could somehow avoid this whole situation by stalling my walk over there.

When I get closer, I see his eyes on me, drilling me. He looks down at me from high above. Like really being some God. And I’m the sinner, waiting for his judgment and punishment.

I stop before the stairs and look up at him. I see a pleased smile on his lips. And something in the way he looks at me makes my body grow hot. Is it the fear?

I don’t know. Maybe I don’t even want to know. I should just protest this all and leave.

‘’Your High—’’

‘’All the way up, pretty flower. Your place is not there anymore.’’ He interrupts me.

Yes, it is. But I guess talking will be easier when we are closer. I grab my hem, lift it slightly and walk up the stairs. Each step is a bigger thump inside my chest. Each step, I feel his gaze on me stronger. Each step is making something pulse inside me. Something I want to ignore.

When I’m finally standing in front of him, his smile turns more to a grin. And I notice the color of his eyes more. They are dark purple, with no sign of the ocean blue glittering. Only the dark abyss is looking straight at me. So that means his mana is probably going rampant right now, and he might not be able to resist it. If he can’t resist, what will he do to me?

This time, I clearly feel the pulsing between my legs.

Oh please forgive me God. I’m really just a Devil’s plaything nowadays. Or at least my body is. I should be scared of the fact that he might act more feral than usual, not aroused.

‘’Closer.’’ His voice is low and dark.

I should say no. I should say that I’m going to leave the Palace. I should yell at him for trying to make me his Queen. But what do I do?

I take a step closer. No spine at all.

He seems rather pleased again. What is he going to do now? Yank me to his lap like he usually does? Is he going to kiss me?

His hand reaches toward me, grabbing me, and I mentally brace myself to fall on his lap. He yanks me, and I instinctively close my eyes. But where I land, it doesn’t feel like a lap. I open my eyes and see Felix in front of me. I realize I’m the one sitting on the throne.

‘’What are you doing?’’ I manage to muster out, my voice is weak and faint.

He kneels in front of me.

‘’Just putting you in your rightful place.’’

‘’Enough with the jokes. Even I know that the Queen never sits on the King’s throne.’’

‘’Sure the King sits in the highest position. But for me? You sit higher than I. Like I once said. I’m just a devoted follower of my divine Queen, ready to worship you the rest of my life.’’

I don’t want to react to his words, but my chest tightens without my permission. And seeing him kneeling before me definitely makes me clench my thighs together tighter. But there is still some sanity left in me.

‘’You said that you wouldn’t make me your Queen.’’

He chuckles low from his chest, sending shivers down my spine.

‘’I never said that. I only said that I wouldn’t convince you to be one. I even said to you in our garden that you are my Queen, and I won’t let you go. I meant what I said back then. I was never going to let you leave me, not once.’’

‘’So you really are just going to force me to be a Queen? I would never accept that.’’

Again with the low chuckle, and his hands start to glide against my legs.

‘’Lucky for me, I don’t need your acceptance. This is a marriage of convenience after all. Your parents already signed the marriage proposal. So we are officially engaged, pretty flower.’’

‘’No,’’ I whisper under my breath.

His hands flip under my dress, and I gasp when he shoots a tiny jolt of electricity through my legs.

‘’Yes.’’

He lifts my hem, revealing my bare legs. He yanks me, making me sit closer to the edge of the throne. He caresses my legs all the way up and slides his fingers under the edge of my panties. My eyes are just locked to him. I’m unable to do anything else than just watch him. He slowly slides the panties off. Then he pushes my legs, forcing them open. I grab the armrest, steadying myself.

‘’Fuck, I have missed your scent, pretty flower. It drives me insane.’’

His hands start to caress my inner thigh again. The heat in me is overwhelming. I have been so close to the edge for these few days. When he touched me on top of the piano. I wanted him to do more. I wanted him to touch me further. But he didn’t. He just left me aching. And my body has been going on overdrive, needing the touch.

Needing him.

I feel my sanity crawling to hide as I watch him, his hand slowly gliding back up. He lowers his head, kissing my inner thigh gently. His eyes are still locked with mine when he speaks.

‘’May I worship you, my Queen?’’

I should say no. I should get up, yell at him, and leave. I really should.

But instead of doing that, I nod.

What the hell is wrong with me? Has the Devil really managed to creep inside my head this much?

Remember, he will kill you. He will kill you. He will kill you.

I hope saying that inside my head will make my sanity snap back. But it doesn’t. Soon, all I can think of is his lips and tongue sliding against my skin. The anticipation of him reaching his destination.

Oh please forgive me God. I just can’t resist him.