Chapter 360: “I” Have No Past, but I Have the Present · A One-Year Chronicle, Part 1
Day 365, journal entry.
Before I knew it, today marks an entire year since I started keeping this diary.
It’s hard to believe it’s been so long since Dr. Elias M. Brenner told me to begin writing one.
I still remember that day, when the doctor handed me this hardcover notebook.
I opened to the first page, held the pen, and thought for a long time before writing just one line:
“Day One. Started writing a diary today.”
Looking back now, those characters were crooked and uneven. The strokes weren’t steady at all.
But after Pandora saw it, she simply nodded and said, “You did great.”
I didn’t know what was good about it, but if my sister said it was good, then it must have been.
And today—
Today was truly... how do I even put it?
Even now, with my eyelids so heavy they’re fighting to close, I refuse to fall asleep just yet.
I have to write down everything that happened today!
Today was just so happy.
I don’t know exactly when I started looking forward to this day.
Maybe it was because Pandora promised she would take me to Moonlit Bay Park?
I had read about it in books before. It’s supposedly the biggest, most famous amusement park in the world.
So many people go there in the summer, riding little horses round and round, jumping off tall towers, and that kind of... that kind of roller coaster that makes people scream.
I’ve always wanted to see it.
And then today—Pandora really took me!
By the time we arrived, it was already dark.
But that made it even better.
Moonlit Bay Park was lit up everywhere, thousands upon thousands of bulbs dyeing the sky amber. Warm, honey-like light flowing and spilling outward.
Some lights were white, some yellow, and some blinked and flickered, like stars someone had scattered across the sky.
It was the first time I knew the night could be this bright.
We started with the Cyclone Coaster.
It’s the park’s most famous ride, and the line was incredibly long. The winding railings were packed with people, adults and children alike, all chattering excitedly, the smell of popcorn thick in the air.
Pandora used some kind of method, I think... I think she used some kind of “ticket”?
Anyway, we got on very quickly.
The moment the safety bar locked down, the wheels began to climb.
Click-clack, click-clack, click-clack.
The sound came beat by beat, each one making my heart race a little faster.
The carriage slowly rose higher. The tiny people on the ground grew smaller and smaller, the lights denser and denser, the wind stronger and stronger.
The instant we crossed the highest point—
We plunged straight down!
I screamed!
The wind threw my hair into a wild mess, my skirt fluttering wildly above my knees.
My cheeks stung from the wind, but I didn’t care at all.
I gripped the safety bar tightly, my heart feeling like it was about to leap out of my throat, but that sensation—that feeling of weightlessness—was just too thrilling!
The world was spinning, the lights were spinning, everything was spinning!
In that moment, I thought of nothing at all. There was only the wind in my mind, only the mad euphoria of falling from the highest point!
I rode it three times in a row.
Each time was just as thrilling as the first, making me scream until my throat went hoarse.
I wanted to go a fourth time, but I noticed that Pandora and Elsa didn’t seem all that impressed by this world-famous roller coaster?
Pandora’s expression never changed the entire time. Her hair wasn’t even messy.
And Elsa, sitting beside me, had the exact same look on her face as always. She even... she even seemed to be observing our surroundings?
I secretly thought about it. It’s probably... because both of my sisters possess extraordinary power. They could probably jump off the roller coaster’s highest point and not even get hurt.
So this level of excitement probably doesn’t do much for them.
I wanted both of my sisters to have fun too, so we went to other attractions.
We went on the Ghost Train.
It’s a very long track ride, with little cars that take you through one dark room after another, each decorated like a terrifying scene.
There was a sign at the entrance with a grinning skull painted on it, reading: “Cowards, Stay Out!”
Inside, there were lots of skeletons, ghostly shadows, and scary things that popped out suddenly.
When I first got on, I pretended to be brave and told my sisters, “I’m not scared.”
I even puffed out my chest a little.
Then the very first skeleton jumped out...
“Kyaaah!”
I crashed right into Pandora’s arms.
That skeleton had sprung from a hidden compartment in the wall. Its jawbone was opening and closing, red light flickering in its eye sockets, making harsh, cackling sounds.
I knew perfectly well it was fake.
But my body moved faster than my brain.
Huddled in Pandora’s arms, I felt a little embarrassed.
In the past, I’ve actually been through quite a lot of things with Pandora. Some of them, as she puts it, were ten thousand times scarier than these fake skeletons.
But for some reason, I’m still this timid.
I still get scared when I see those things.
Pandora, on the other hand, rarely seems to get frightened.
She says the things that scare people are mostly things they don’t understand. Once you understand them, there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.
I don’t really get it.
But inside that pitch-black carriage, Pandora’s hand held mine the whole time.
Her hand was a little cool, but very steady.
As long as I could hold her hand, I didn’t seem quite so scared anymore.
When we got off, I stole a glance at Elsa.
She was walking a little behind us, her gaze constantly sweeping the surroundings.
No matter what, even during an amusement park ride, Elsa maintained a slight stance of alertness, like she was always subconsciously ready to protect Pandora.
It’s true. No matter what kind of monster it was, she could deal with it in an instant.
I’m a little envious.
I want to be able to protect my sisters too.
Later, we went to the Hall of Mirrors.
Those funhouse mirrors made people look all twisted and strange.
Pandora and I stood in front of the same mirror. She was stretched into a long, thin strip, her legs so long it looked like she was on stilts, her face a narrow sliver.
I was squashed into a short, plump ball, round and roly-poly, like a sphere.
We both laughed.
Although Pandora didn’t laugh as loudly as I did, I saw the corner of her mouth curve up.
The older members in the cleanup squad have said that Pandora is destined to become a great figure, someone who stands high above others, someone to be looked up to.
But I know. What they say isn’t right. At least, not completely.
After that, we went to the edge of the dance floor and listened to a band play a funny, whimsical dance tune.
The melody was very fast, the notes bobbing high and low, like someone was chasing their own fingers across the piano keys.
Lots of young girls in beautiful dresses were dancing. Their skirts spun into flower after flower—red, blue, yellow, purple—blooming and twirling under the lights, like a blooming field of flowers.
Elsa stood at the edge, watching quietly.
Her expression was as cool as always, but I noticed her gaze occasionally falling on the small, sparkling trinkets adorning the girls’ wrists, lingering for just a second.
