Chapter 38: I Hope I Do Not Regret This
The noise in the assembly hall started again as the professors where done walking around with blood seeker orb and nothing happened. The orb was still shinning the normal blue colour.
The Headmaster’s the cleared his throat to get the attention of the students. "You are all free to go. Classes will resume tomorrow."
Reynold’s heart was still beating very fast. His eyes suddenly shifted to the high stage where Lord Damon Blackwood was standing. It look like he was engaged in a tense argument with Professor Valerius and Sergeant Veridian. Just looking at him was enough to make Reynold swallow hard. He don’t know if he will ever be able to get past this guilt.
Dammit! He need some air.. He turned and made his way toward the exit door by the left. Just as he came out from the assembly hall, he spotted Nymeria. She was already walking away and maybe heading towards her private dorm.
"Nymeria! Wait up!" Reynold called as he jogged to cath with her.
She stopped without turning and just waiting for him to get closer. He lowered his voice so that other students passing won’t hear.
"Thank you," he murmured. "I really appreciate whatever you did that made the orb not to turn read."
Nymeria finally turned, her eyes were staring at Reynold. She shifted more closer to Reynold that she was standing just an inche away from their face touching.. Her voice sounded very low that it would be hard for the passing cadet to grasp what she was saying.. "What was the last thing Hektor Blackwood said to you? Before... it happened?"
Seeing how close they were and how her eyes were staring into him very well like she was reading him like a book made the fear in Reynold’s heart to be replaced with something else. He shifted his eyes away from Nymeria’s as he forced himself to look down, focusing in the stone floor.
"Why are you asking?"
"Because," she paused briefing as she takes another close step. Their faces were so very close now and any move would be their lips and facing touching.." the only reason your power would have burst out like that is if your emotion was triggered very hard."
Reynold sighed and he gripped the fabric of his trousers as the rage from Hektor words were bubbling back up and instantly threatening to boil over.
"He was saying... some shit about my parents. I don’t know but i just felt... everything went red inside me and all I was feeling was just rage. I could not stop it. I wanted to break something to make it stopped...."
Nymeria made a soft sound with her mouth like that tsking sound. "So that was it." She muttered. "Listen to me. We cannot have a dead body every time someone’s words hurt you. You need to get your emotions under check and you need to learn how to shut it down too, or you will expose us both."
She paused, and then added. "Now that your magic side is out, you are supposed to start tsking advanced classes on Magic courses but we can’t tell the professors that your Magic has manifested without exposing what happened at the Pits." She shook her head.
"Okay. And now?" Reynold asked.
"Now?" She gave a short, hard shrug. "You lay low. And you should check out the library and look for anything on emotional control for Magic Users. Start there. It’s better than nothing."
"Thank you.."
Nymeria paused for a beat longer. "I hope I do not regret this. And i hope you are worth it."
She then turned and left.
Reynold watched her go, his eyes were on her retreating back until she was out of his sight.
Only when she was completely out of sight did Reynold turn then forced his legs to move.
Nymeria was right. If his emotions was what triggered the power outburst, then he needs to learn to lock it down before more people died and the murder list expanded.
Ignoring the curious and confused stares of the other cadets who were staring at him like he some sort of their favourite dessert, Reynold headed for the main academy library.
The Wyrmwood Academy Library was like a huge old tower that was made of gray stone and it looked like it was built for a thousand years. The curved windows were a little big. You could tell that the people who built it knew did a great job with the design and the building in general.
Reynold first look at the outside before he walked inside. The inside has soft lights and there were pictures of dragons and some magic user philosophers and alchemist.
He walked over to the main counter. He handed his name badge to the old man at the front desk.
"Dragon Rider, Reynold Starweaver. Section C access only," the man said not looking at him.
"whh... what do you mean section C access only, sir," Reynold said while trying to keep his voice steady.
He was only giving access to Section C of the Dragon Rider archives. Dammit!
The librarian finally lifted his head. He scanned Reynold. "It means you ate only allowed in the Section C. Am I clear?"
Fu*k! Reynold wanted to beg the man but the look on the man’s face made him stopped..
"Sure!"
"Very well." He gestured toward the main entrance with his bony finger.
"Thank you," Reynold murmured and followed his direction.
The inside has tall bookshelves that was made from a carved wood. The shelves reached up so high you could barely see the ceiling.
He stooped when he saw the inscribed sections immediately.
To the left, a big archway has the inscription: THE DRAGON RIDER’S ARCHIVES.
To the right, was a vortex of energy was carved into the stone: THE MAGIC USER’S SANCTUM.
Reynold took a deep breath. He was a Dragon Rider and he had no business in the Sanctum and the man at the front desk told him he had access to only Section C of the dragon rider archives. But he was also a ’Two’.
He looked around, a few professors and students were seated and they were also deeply engrossed in whatever they were reading. None of them seemed to care if anyone else was there.
Good for him.
Since section A & B were limited to some cadets, Reynold figured it must contained high information and that was not why he is here.
So section C it is then.
He made his way quickly to the Magic User Sanctum. He started scanning the rows of section C, his fingers trailing over the book covers. He was careful not to draw attention to himself.
Finally, halfway down the third row, he stopped. His fingers touching a book with a plain black leather cover, the title was in tarnished silver:
The Quiet Reservoir: A Manual on Emotional Alchemy and Controlled Power.
"This might be it."
He pulled the book out and made his way to the very last row or more like a a corner that was buried between the sections on Divination and Elemental Theory. It will be hard for anyone to find him there.
He sat on a small stool and he flipped open the cover.
The Quiet Reservoir: A Manual on Emotional Alchemy
Reynold’s eyes scanned the the first page before he flipped opened the second page..
Reynold’s eyes scanned the second page as he read them through.
Reading was never his strong suit. He preferred anything that involves actual sparring than this.
As he read, it was as if the author’s voice was in his head.
A Rider’s power is outside and bonded to their dragons but if you are a Magic User, your power is deep inside you and it is drawn from your own soul and feelings.
When your emotion is not well controlled, it causes a Ripple Effect that causes the raw energy to outburst making the environment unstable and also hurting everyone close by.
Reynold’s face turn into a frown as he continued reading.
This is the first step: Your uncontrolled emotions are what create the energetic ripples that destabilize reality. So what do you do? Find your Emotional Baseline and Write down your feelings hour by hour in a journal to know where you are starting.
Reynold scoffed. Really? A jjournal? He would rather take a hundred punches than write down his feelings.
He quickly flipped the page, hoping to fins something that will usefu aside from writing down his feelings..
"Yep! Never gonna happen...."
His eyes shifted to the page that has; Mapping the Heart: The Four Wells of Power.
The page listed the primary sources of emotional magic like the emotions that leads to things destroying, the cause are rage, Fear, Joy, and Grief. The author called them the four most potent forces inside a person.
Every person has one feeling that is their biggest liability like the one that is most likely to cause an outburst. This is your Anchor Emotion. Name this enemy to begin to defeat it.
Was his own rage, the rage of losing his parents? Fear, the fear that he might actually not be able to find out about what happened? Reynold thought as he clenched his hand.
Reynold kept staring at the Rage and fear written on the book before he finally sighed and then shifted to the next page.
The Practice: Source Visualization. This is a mental exercise where you intentionally bring up a strong emotion, but consciously stop the magic from coming out. The point is to teach yourself that you are not your power but you are the one in charge.
Dammit! All this is not helping.
Out of frustration, he flipped open the next page.
In the moment of crisis, you must slam the brakes on the runaway feeling. And remember your body is the shell that contains the storm.
The most powerful tool for this is the Three-Part Breath. It is a rhythmic breathing pattern designed to magically dissipate that excess emotional energy. You take a long, slow and inhale through your nose, filling your stomach, then your chest. Hold for a count of four. Then a slow, controlled exhale through the mouth.
Reynold immediately tried it. Inhale. One, two, three, four. Hold. One, two, three, four. Exhale. Slowly.
He don’t know if it will work in reality but it was not bad.
His eyes then moved to the next paragraph.
The Practice: Always carry a a small physical object like a stone, or a carved piece of wood and when the feelings starts, squeeze it hard. This help transferring the the energy into a physical squeeze instead of a magical outburst.
Reynold looked down at his own hand. He was gripping the edge of his shirt so hard that he did not even know.
Maybe he should trust this book a little and think of what his physical object will be.
He really does not want to be a killer.