Chapter 2-14
“Next question, what is the weirdest monster you’ve ever seen? Follow-up, did you kill it?
"Oh, that’s a tough one! Let’s see, there was one time down at the beach when I was, shit, I think Tier 3? Yeah, that’s right – it was a party for a teammate of mine who’d just hit Tier 3. We were young and dumb, well, we were definitely dumb (laughs), and we thought we’d go get shitfaced on the beach. So, there we are, all drunk off of our asses – shoutout to my buddies over at BMF! – and this gigantic thing comes ambling up out of the waves.
"I Identified it, and I shit you not, the System told me it was a toxic hippocephalosaurus. To this day I don’t have a fucking clue what that means, but it was about the size of a saloon, with scales and tentacles all over. When our Mage dropped a Lightning Bolt on it all of them tentacles were shocked stiff for a moment – looked absolutely ridiculous. We started cracking up laughing, and that’s when the fucker unleashed a poison breath attack. My buddy’s Tier 1 girlfriend and a couple others never made it out of the cloud. The rest of us ran like drunken rabbits.
"Moral of the story is, stay the fuck away from the beach until you’re at least Tier 3!" (both laugh)
"I’m afraid that’s all the time we have today, Mr. Two-step! Thank you so much for this exclusive interview! Now, back to the tunes – up next, in the spirit of the Guild, we’ve got The Ballad of the Black Razor!"
- DJ Demophon Kerner, with guest Two-step on K-RAD LA, April 2nd, System Year 453
What in the Wastes, is he serious?! We are going to eat one of those things?
“PAST, are those things safe to eat?”
[Information unavailable, Citizen Ashley! When in doubt, always trust your superior officers!]
Elin looked like I felt, but Raylan and Zaire seemed resigned to our fates. Shoulders slumped, I trudged off after them back to the cave. I looked at the closet body. Identify.
Corpse: Spiderwolf