Chapter 1-10
“What a set, my friends! That was some good shit, if I say so myself – and I fucking do! This is the Voice of the People, coming at you live here on K-RAD, the only fucking radio station that brings you the stone-cold truth!
"Now, just a quick update on the truth – most of those un-fucking-dead wandering around tonight have been re-fucking-deadified! Larry the Intern over here told me that they were some neko-gh, uh…"
(muffled cursing… sound of hand partially covering the mic)
"Hey, Larry! What the Wasted fuck is a necro-ghoul? Everyone knows ghouls are already dead! That’s some redundant shit right there, I can’t say that on the air. What? You want to explain it, be my guest. No, I mean it, get the fuck over here!"
(sounds of a struggle, new, younger voice comes on the air, breathing hard)
"Um, hi everyone, this is uh, Larry the Intern… Just letting you know that, see, a necro-ghoul is like a ghoul that’s also a Necromancer, not just a ghoul that was raised by a Necromancer, because as we all know that would be redundant… ouch!"
(smack! returns to original voice)
"Thanks Larry for that fascinating trivia! You know, that makes me think of this great joke. See, a Necromancer, a Paladin, and a Bard walk into a bar, and…"
(music plays over the speaker’s voice)
- DJ Demophon Kerner, with guest Larry the Intern, on K-RAD LA, April 1st, System Year 453
Waking up to the sight of a huge, hairy, many-legged spider practically in my lap sent a bolt of adrenaline through me and I instinctively tried to throw myself out of the way with a shout. What actually happened was that I sort of… toppled over in a heap. Lying there in confusion, it took me a moment to process that the spider wasn’t moving. There was a thick puddle of blood pooling around it, a hole punched through several of its eyes where my final shot had caught it.
OK Az, it’s dead, and you’re not. All things considered, that’s pretty good! Now, why do I feel like I haven’t slept in a week?
I Inspected myself and saw that I only had ten health left and was down to just a few points of stamina. Unconsciousness claimed me again moments later.
The second time I woke up face to face with a giant spider corpse, I sighed and tried to untangle myself from the contorted position I’d been sleeping in. I was sore and stiff all over and itching everywhere I’d been bitten by the smaller spiders. My mouth was dry and tasted awful. Crawling over to the pool of water, I scrubbed my hands as best I could and I drank several handfuls before Inspecting myself.
