(BL) Taming the Field Guide

"So...do you want to have a drink at my place?" Karen suggested mildly, casually, and Taylor wanted to scream.

They weren’t inside Gunther’s apartment anymore, instead standing by the elevators. They’d said goodbye to the others who had been going to Charlie and had remained with Miro before he went on his way. Now it was just the two of them and Taylor felt nervous.

She was fidgety, her hands warm from where she was wringing them together and Karen was at her side. Taylor swallowed, her heart in her throat as she stood next to the woman.

Taylor knew that if she said no, that would be it. Nothing else would happen and the two would go on their merry way. She knew that Karen liked her to some capacity, but she hadn’t attempted anything during the time since after the funeral. Not really.

In fairness, they had both been so busy that there wasn’t really any time to do anything. Taylor had taken on a bit more responsibility now that Rhys and Kellen were gone, along with Kellen’s parents. Not as much as the others had taken, that was for sure. Karen and Gunther had gotten the brunt of it. Gunther shouldn’t even be back to work yet, but he’d insisted on taking some of the load away from Karen, Jax and Jules.

Taylor had been passing by the offices when they’d been having that argument and it had gotten heated. Taylor shuddered, hating hearing the two men yell at each other, but it was apparently needed. Gunther wasn’t injured anymore and he was attending therapy. He was a different man after coming back from the E.A.G., and it was Gunther himself who had suggested that maybe Kellen hadn’t known he was seeing a vision when he sent him.

Rhys had chewed that thought and had hated it. He was the one who had told Gunther that he shouldn’t reduce Kellen and all of his skill down to the powers that had just awakened in a way that everyone else could see. Gunther argued that he wasn’t doing that, he was just leaving everything open to a new interpretation. It wasn’t wrong to consider that Kellen had been acting on his powers, especially if he knew that Gunther would make it out in one piece. What if he did the sorting that Rhys did naturally, without the effort that Rhys had to go through?

Taylor, unable to help herself, had stuck around after hearing that theory. It was an interesting one to say the least, and she hoped that it was the case for Kellen’s sake. She didn’t wish the weight of what Rhys’ powers were on her friend, but if he could automatically get to the heart of the issue without having to see the futures where he and his friends failed over and over like Rhys did? Yeah, who wouldn’t want that.

Gunther and Rhys had argued more after that until Gunther had eventually said it. Kellen wasn’t like Rhys. He was different. He was able to see the futures of his friends, and Rhys was intentionally being a hard ass about this because he was afraid. Of course he was afraid. Kellen was important to him, but Kellen was also important to everyone. No one wanted to harm him here. They all cared for him. Gunther was trying to show him that there was a chance that Kellen was not only more powerful than them, but that he also wasn’t going to suffer the same fate as the other Time Espers.

That was when Taylor left. Theories were fun, shared trauma that Taylor had to read about in her files before? She didn’t need to hear that from their mouths.

Taylor had mulled over those words for a while on her own after that, even as she saw Kellen in passing, helping with the Guides, and even helped him plot picking up his engagement ring for Rhys. It had stayed with her even as she had watched the press conference just a few moments ago.

"Taylor?" Karen’s voice was concerned, the warmth and strength of the grip on her upper arm shocking Taylor out of her thoughts.

"Oh. I’m sorry, I was just-" Taylor started, turning her gaze towards the other woman and felt her tongue stop. Karen’s brown eyes looked so sweet and concerned that excuses died on her tongue.

"It’s okay. You must be tired. I won’t pester you to stay in my company when our ever busy Healer should get some rest." Taylor, who had been weighing what was the best option, felt Karen’s words like a blow. She’d been so caught up in her own thoughts and how they had been a nice distraction from what was going on before her that she hadn’t seen the forest for the trees.

"No." Taylor found herself saying, her trembling hand landing on top of Karen’s on her arm. She gave it a squeeze, nowhere near as tight as Karen’s grip, but she watched as Karen’s cheeks flushed. "I’m tired, but a drink or two shouldn’t hurt." Taylor swallowed. "You’ve been busy too, so I should leave you to get some rest as well, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you won’t take a break if I don’t go with you now." Taylor said, her voice a little breathless.

She watched as Karen, the woman that she knew to be joyous and a little mischievous, turned bright pink and looked a little guilty.

"I wouldn’t have worked too much more." She muttered and Taylor’s hand tightened on top of Karen’s.

"I hope the Captain is paying you well, at the very least. Compensation for good work is important." Taylor muttered and Karen snorted, before she turned her head away and covered her mouth. Taylor frowned at her actions, but Karen didn’t hide her face from Taylor for long. When she turned back, her eyes were soft, her smile warm.

"Don’t worry. The numbers I’m getting paid would make you proud." Karen promised. Her brown gaze glowed from within, making it look like a warm fire was lit from within her eyes. Taylor let out a slow, shaky breath. Why was she speaking about how Taylor would be proud? It was her money, not Taylor’s.

Taylor intentionally played dumb, even as Karen turned her hand on Taylor’s arm, hooking Taylor’s fingers in her own. Taylor watched, fully capable of stopping the other woman as she raised her captured fingers to her lips. A shuddering breath left her lips as Karen’s lips touched Taylor’s fingers, her lips warm against the shaking, nervous things.

"Shall we head to my apartment, princess?" Karen asked and Taylor felt her breath falter. Princess? Why had she held back until now to call her that? Taylor had no defense against it anymore.

"S-Sure." Taylor muttered, embarrassed and Karen grinned. She lowered Taylor’s hand, letting it go as she moved to press the elevator button. Karen had her back to Taylor and Taylor was grateful for the small moment of respite. What the hell was she going to do if Karen insisted on treating her like this?

~

It only got worse once they were in the actual apartment. If Taylor had allowed it, she was certain that Karen would have picked her up in one arm and carted her around, showing off the space. Unlike the others, and more like Rhys, Karen lived fulltime in the tower. Casper, Taylor, Pamela and Gunther were the two that had homes outside of the tower, which surprised some. Gunther did have a place outside of the Tower, he just rarely used it.

Miro was the exception in every regard, since he also had an apartment in the Guild Tower, but everyone knew he preferred to sleep with his plants. It didn’t help his physical health, but his mental health was better. It was up to Taylor to balance those two things, and she took up the mantle seriously.

Either way, that meant that Karen got to design her rooms as she saw fit. Unlike the other apartments, Karen’s apartment didn’t start with the kitchen. She’d intentionally moved it to the back right corner of her apartment, giving her a decent hallway into the apartment and a small closet off to the left when one stepped in.

She gave Taylor a tour the morning after she’d woken up in the place, but it was nice to see it without the shame Taylor had felt when she had been here last. Karen’s bedroom and en suite took up the whole left side of the apartment, but the rooms that were pressed against the hallway wall were an extra bedroom and a bathroom. The living room and kitchen were open concept but with the way that Karen had set up her space a lot of light filled the room. She also had a corner unit and the kitchen backed onto the windows. That did mean that she didn’t have upper cupboards, but that didn’t seem to bother Karen. She didn’t have a lot of appliances or cook often, so she liked having the pretty views of the city over functionality.

Plus, the builders and designers had liked the challenge that Karen had given them after all of the cookie cutter other houses. Everyone also had to be reinforced like Karen was an S Class Esper as well. With her strength she needed to be able to live in the place without tearing down the whole tower by accident if she didn’t control her strength. She could be very destructive if she wasn’t careful.

Being back on the couch, a glass in her hand full of a cocktail that Karen had mixed up while Karen microwaved a small meal for them, Taylor wondered if what she was doing was the right thing?

She wasn’t even certain what she wanted from Karen and had intentionally pushed everything back so that she didn’t have to think about it. She had used her own business and the fact that Karen hadn’t been able to come by and ’pester’ her as much as she had been to force it all away.

Now she had no choice but to face it.

What did she want from the woman? What did she want...at all? Did she want to be with Karen, or just touch her? Taylor was hesitant to even face her own feelings in fear that she would find out that they weren’t some lighthearted attraction to the other woman but something far worse.

Not that Karen was a bad person, she wasn’t, but Taylor wasn’t certain she could give the woman what she wanted. Taylor’s first love was her work, and she would need to find someone who could understand that.

It felt strange for Taylor to be sitting there, staring at the night view of the city in Karen’s apartment of all places and thinking so deeply on her own emotions. If someone had said that she would find herself sitting here only six months ago she would have laughed in their faces.

"Taylor? Are you alright?" Karen asked and Taylor jerked. She raised the glass in her hands to her mouth and took a deep gulp. The bitter sting of the cranberry juice was a good reminder that this was real and not just a dream.

"Yeah. Just thinking." Taylor admitted and Karen chuckled as she came closer, the food on two plates. Her smile was warm.

"Well, don’t think too hard. I know you can heal yourself at will, but I would rather you not have to do it in my company too much." Karen said. Taylor wanted to retort back something snappy, or smart, but she didn’t. Instead, she met Karen’s warm smile and watched as it slowly fading from her face.

They didn’t say anything for a long, heavy moment.

"W-What did you bring over?" Taylor asked, her face warm after the long serious moment. She needed to speak about something, anything else than these feelings racing inside of her. They didn’t even have a name yet, and Taylor was certain it was only because she’d shoved them into a deep recess inside of herself.